The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to regret sharing this blog and making it public. Not really the best thing for most people that want to get to know me. I dunno, but this insight into my mind can be a bit offensive and come off in ways I really never intend them to. Then again, others may think that I'm just a compleate moron. My opinions and thoughts have been known to kill many good things. Dinner plans, friendships, group projects, friendships, overall classroom evnvironment, friendships, rates of call times, and did I meantion friendships?

I guess I'm too different for people to get. Those that do like Chis maybe get a certain part of me and not the rest. I don't know if anyone truely understands my twisted head. I know I don't. Maybe this blog is a good thing. If it is such a good thing, then why am I feeling like I said something wrong here that could kill another friendship... and an important one at that. Important to me cause it's my last friendship that I can hold on to. It's the only one I have left and for reason I can't keep it as well as I thought I could.

How do you keep friends? I never understood that. Do you talk to them from time to time? That seems to be what my sister does alot. Do you hang out with them and listen to the same stuff as they do? My sister does.. kindda. What is it that I don't get on how to keep friends?

It's times like this I wish I was my sister. Little miss popular in her own right. Sure, she may not be all that tall or have what everyone considers to be perfect or whatever, but she's popular. More so than I'll ever be. All her friends love her and they gossip with her and hang out. She is in regular physical contact with them if not practically living with them! All I have are words on screen. Words from IMs that can be easily misunderstood or misread. I should know; I've been on both sides of that coin. I'm so jelous of her, but she will never know just how much I wish I could be like her and live one day with what she's got. One day, just me and a bunch of friends doing whatever and just having fun being together. Just one day... since I can't have it everyday like her.