Happy New Years... Whatever...

I found out several things last night that I should have blogged about, but was too tired to do so.

I found out that I just do not care about holidays anymore. They lost their magic. They no longer are all that special. So once a year you hunt for plastic eggs with candy inside. Once a year you get to dress up as whoever you feel like being as. Once a year a fat man gives you presents for being good. Once a year you get to eat like there is no tomorrow. Once a year you get to tell your crush how much you like them. Once a year you have to wear green!

So what?! Yes, I know that some of these things we do for fun, but the fun is no longer there! It was cool to be able to stay up until midnight when I was eight, but now that I can do that on a semi-regular basis, it is getting kind of old! And yes, I know the holidays only come once every year, but it is the same thing every year, and I'm always reminded of what holiday that is about to come three months in advance, that is if I go shopping at all!

That's another thing I found out last night. Why is it that I always look at things I will never buy? I do that online, in the mall, even at the bulletin board at Watkins! I always look at things I will never be able to get for one reason or another. It just sucks that I keep doing that to myself! I need to buy one of these things that I like to look at and wish I could own! Just one of them! I mean, I have a hundred bucks for crying out loud!

Knowing me, I'd spend it on porn. I really need to curve this sexual frustration of mine somehow. Maybe if I don't masturbate. Yeah, I know, I've seen 40 Days and 40 Nights. I know that I probably won't make it to my 21st birthday let alone the 21st of the month. But I have to try something! I'm killing my brain here thinking about nothing but trying to get laid, how I am not getting any, and all that shit.

I bitch too much.