Being a Loving Individual

I woke up this morning more concerned about me NeoHome project than I was about what happened last night with James.

After my last blog, I got to talk to James when he signed back on. I apologized for my actions and thought I fixed everything as best I could. Then, towards the end of the conversation, he did the one thing I knew he was going to do but hoped he would not. He made me jump through a damn hoop. He tested me, my trust, and my emotions. And by his answer sheet, I failed. I didn't express my love for him in the way that he wanted.

I got so upset over this. I knew he was going to make me out to be the bad guy again. Make me believe that I was nothing more but this cold, callus, emotionless robot with so many issues that I couldn't possibly be normal. As much as I wanted to save this, I had enough. I didn't want to deal with him making me out that I am the bad person because I have a different way of showing how I care for someone. I don't want to be made into thinking that the only proper way that I can ever express my love for someone is to shower them with "I love you" over and over until those three words are the only ones in my vocabulary. I should my love and affection by trying to help make someone happy and comfortable with themselves and everything around them. At least, that's what I try to do. Sure, I throw in a few "I love you"'s into the mix, but that is how I express how much I deeply care and love people!

So once again, I didn't live up to someone's standards of how I should act.

One point for me in the individual category.