Totally Bombed

Well, I can say this with confidence. I bombed my Art History final exam. Yes, I know it for a fact before it was even graded. My entire grade for that class hinges on the grade for my notebook, my final project, and my paper (which, I am please to say, got a 100%. She wants a copy for herself so she can teach future classes. That's two teachers that want to use what I have done as teaching materials!).

In any event, it is done. The end. No more until next semester when I live the worst mistake of my life. Yes, I have three studio classes all in one semester. Not a bad thing? Yes, it is when you think about the fact that each studio class requires a final project that should have taken you a total of at least three weeks to do, and must show that much effort put into it as well.

I need to get over to some art store where I can find and buy the foam board and matte board needed for my damn drawing final. I really wish she would have told us all this in advance. I mean, had I but known, I would have gotten all this sooner and not be so stress about it because of everything else I have to do on top of this matting thing! After that, I need to get over to Kinko's and get them cut into the dimensions I want.

I am convinced that this is the only way I will ever function in the real world. That is, I am convinced that the only way I will ever make it is if I am a professional student, a student who gets paid for going to school and evaluating the courses for a job. This kind of direction and being directed is the only thing that makes me feel like I actually have some kind of, for lack of a reason, purpose in life. Yes, I know that my real calling is to be an artist, but I do need a side job. Maybe I'm just being too hopeful and too hard on myself again. Bitching and complaining and all that fun stuff that makes me look like a whinny little brat. Hey, it is either that or hold it in to where the emotions and pent up anger will cause some kind of social backlash with the mass murder of everyone that ever angered me in my life causing me to become a serial killer.