Still Feeling Out of Place

It still feels weird. I am still feeling out of place among people I know. It is as if I do not really know them let alone allowed to be able to associate myself with them. I know, I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I do. I really wish I didn't.

Jaime got her hair cut over break. It looks good on her. It's surprisingly very short, but it works for her. Her new do really brings out her dimples making her smile even more adorable than before.

My Art History final went off without a hitch, so that's good. Now all I have to worry about is that damn test next week in that class and then I'm done. I never did like history.

Tomorrow I have to do my presentation in Creativity. I hope that goes well as well.

Okay, enough of this bullshit. Let me tell you what is really on my mind right now.

I need to get laid. I really do. I'm borderline on becoming an escort if I didn't know the risks. I mean, hell, I have a cell phone! But, enough of becoming a prostitute. I really need to get laid before I end up doing the same thing I did to Brian in high school and end up being a complete slut around some guy that I fancy for whatever shallow reasons. God, I really wish this wasn't the case. I'm really tired of feeling and thinking like some kind of slut. This is just wrong. No one is this horny and sex-crazy! Okay, I take that last sentence back remembering how horny and sex-crazy Andrew and James were. But still, this just doesn't feel normal. I should be able to concentrate better in school, but because this want to have sex is so strong, I find myself looking at guys more than paying attention to what I am doing. Thank God Coffey wasn't here today, or else I would have never been able to do the pattern exercise in 2D. Seriously, I think this is really bad for me to be acting like this. Being silent about it is probably worst though. Then again, replacing my welcome note on my cell phone with the phrase Sex isn't everything. It's the best thing! is probably just as bad as the way I've been thinking lately.

I wish I never discovered sex.