That Empty Feeling is Back

I woke up this morning not feeling special. I checked my mail, and thought nothing of it. Well, except for that little blip about the Fight Club video game. Personally, I think the game is coming out late compared to the movie, but what do I know? The movie itself was great, so I'll leave the judgment of the video game to the fine people at X-Play on TechTV.

For some reason, my dad is down here listening to a Christian radio station. While I don't object to the Christmas music they are playing, I had to turn on DDRFreak Radio in order to drown them out after I heard a really ridiculous ad/Christian Public Service announcement saying that Abercrombie & Fitch are exploiting teens and children in their modeling ads. People really need to do their research. All of their models, at least the really hot ones, are all at least my age or older! The ad called for a boycott of the store and to return gifts from love ones to that store. So much for the season of acceptance and love.

So, here I am, drowning the outside world to Japanese and Korean techno. What is on my mind to warrant a blog even titled what it is?

The answer is simple. I did some thinking last night after my first blog. I also did this in my sleep. Don't ask me how, I just feel like I did.

So what did I think about? I thought about myself. I see no reason to change who I am. I see myself as a hypocrite around people I like, changing the way I am just so they will like me. That is not the way you should live life. You should be true to yourself. If they don't like you for that, then they are not worth your time.

I know this lesson by heart. Why can't I practice what I preach? Why do I have this strange desire to be with people that are way better looking and way more fit than myself, both sexually and non-sexually? And why is it that those people seem so far out of my league? Ken, Jaime, Christina, Coffey, Jason, and now James. What is it about them that just draws me to them like the leech I am?