Back with James

I talked to James finally.

It turns out that the past three days he spent thinking. We talking about it, and he came to the conclusion that he felt beat up by me, and that I had some kind of chip of my shoulder that I just wouldn't let up. He wanted to give up if I couldn't let go.

It's funny, but thinking about it right now, I feel awkward talking about it. You know, about these bad moments. During the entire IM session I had with him no more than a minute ago after starting this blog entry, I felt at ease, peaceful. It was the first time since before the semester started that I felt this way. I saw all my flaws more easily, and fixed most of them on the spot after learning that they were merely habitual flaws that I shouldn't be practicing. I haven't felt this way for a long time, and it feels good to feel this way again.

The most surprising thing to learn tonight was the fact that James was in town last month! Surprisingly still was the fact that he drove by Watkins several times! Afraid that I would make a scene, he never went inside the building. Kind of a shame, though. He would have seen my Madonna and Child piece in the 2D room. I know he would like that. Besides, I think him stalking me is kind of cute in a twisted way.

This feels good. This feeling I'm feeling right now. It's a combination of love, peace, relief, and comfort. It is that kind of feeling that rivals that of the womb (provided you can remember what that feels like). I hope it stays until morning. I don't want this feeling to go away. I don't want James to go away.