Well, it happened. When my father came back, we sat in my room and talked about Seattle.

Dad made the first move and tried to talk to me about if I'm sure I want to do what I said I wanted to do. Get the lay out of everything. Frankly, it sounded more like a scolding for not doing much of anything these last seven months. Whatever he said and however he said it blew my original planed speach out the fucking window. It seems almost poetic that it was also raining when this happened.

We then got onto the subject of money and what job I may get and all that. How I'm not going to take most of my stuff, which I planed anyway, and where I'm going to go to school and all that. I broke it to them that I didn't have the ambition anymore. Their jokes went too far with me when they were ribbing me to do something. Was that a quiver I heard in my mom's voice? Natually they are concerned about me. They think it would be easier for me to learn all that I'm going to end up learning here instead of Seattle. It's cheaper this way.

Whoever told me money was a nessicary evil is right. They wanted to know if they should support me while I'm up there. I told them that it would be nice and that I'd like them to, but I'm not expecting it cause they have their own bills to pay and other priorities. Bad choice of words, Zeek. They told me that I'm top priority, not the bills. That's the first time I've heard that since my stupid suicidal days back in God-knows-when. I kept saying that as much as I'd like them to and as nice as it would be I wasn't expecting them to support me, cause they will eventually be pissed at the fact that I kept sucking money from them. Dad then said that since that's the case, they won't. Mom agrees saying that depending on people is hard, so being independent would be better. That coming from someone that can't gas up her own car says something else. It tells me that she knows what it's like to be depended and knows what it's like to not be. Anyway, the only thing it looks like they want to pay for is for my ticket to Seattle.

Dad wants to call Dan to see what's up and if I have room in his small apartment to live untill I get kicked out or am able to live on my own in a city with a higher standard of living than here. Not knowing if the number is the same, I took the job to e-mail him, as well as Bill, what was up.

I can't help but wonder right now. Did I just screw myself over and made this harder for me than it could have been? Dan said one night when I asked a question similar to that that if I have to ask, then it's probibly true.

Problem Two FOUND: Communication