"Curiousity killed the cat."

Well, meow then. I just screwed up a good thing.

Amazing how it seems that in a week I can be on top of the world and then under it by the time the next week starts. Basically, James had this plan to reserve a room one night to get to know me and what my plans are during the summer. He didn't tell me the last part when he asked because he was kindda drunk off beer and didn't want to get into it with the alcohol in his system. Fair reason, but what he didn't tell me prompted me to wonder. I asked Bill thinking that he would know. Those two are so tight it's not even funny. They make best friends look like mere aquantances. I thought (stupidly) "Hey, maybe he knows something." Bad move.

I was able to catch Aaron on IMs for a change tonight. The curious was still there, and so I asked Aaron. He's practically the mother of them and knows the boys inside and out as far as tendancies go. Again, I stupidly thought that he may know something. Turns out James was there reading the IMs along. That combined with the funning that Bill was giving him all day made James a bit mad. Those that know him best would say Bill was the fuel to the fire, but I was the idiot that lit it. That's the key thing there. I'm responsible now. Because I just couldn't let go, what does James do? He drops everything. He's not coming on the trip or going to talk to me alone or anything! That goes without saying that I might be without a good number of clothing items come trip time if he is still not going.

I begining to feel like I can't be friends with those boys. It's starting to become an impossibility. Kindda like how all I want to do is please everyone with my actions when it comes to major decision like moving or college while pleasing myself. And they told me to aim big when I was little too.

"For those with wings, fly to your dreams." Where are my wings?