Burned Out for the Day

God, what was I thinking?! Today was going to be a whole day devoted to getting my work done, but I only got two things out of the way on a list that is so long it's ridiculous!

The first thing I did after I completed my morning routine was look up the theaters that my Creativity teacher gave me. The reason is for my final project, I am going to write a grant proposal as a way of presenting my creative process. It seems like a doable option, but I have a lot of work ahead of me. Well, you see, I was thinking that maybe I can get some kind of structure outside of what I was able to gather from the teachers at school from the theaters that actually have to read these things. The first theater said on their website that they do not take adaptations. This cancels me out because the play I will be writing and proposing is an adaptation of Nightmare Before Christmas. The next two on the list do not have web sites nor any kind of number that I can find online. The last theater company had a website and a link to who is in charge of development, but nothing about what they look for in a proposal. I e-mailed the staff member in charge of development.

It was around this time that I remembered that Disney formed their own little Broadway company. Surely they would have something about how to write or present a grant to them! Nope. If you go to the site, they have nothing on that subject manner. If you can submit proposals to Disney, it is a well guarded secret from public eyes.

So, with that out of the way, and feeling rather defeated, I opted to go ahead and start on a more feasible project. Something that would be easier for the time and then work my way up the ladder of difficulty. Boy, I bet I started backwards on that climb.

I went ahead and started writing my English assignment. You know, that humorous essay about how porn is a legitimate form of art. My main fear is that I would come off as serious if not a bigger pervert than I already am. (Hey, no one's perfect.) I'm more of a situational comic. I could probably write a good sit-com if given the chance, but I doubt it. I employed the help of Brian on IMs to help with my lack of humor. He is one of probably three people on MouseInfo that makes me laugh with their off the wall banter.

Here is what we came up with for the most part:

Pornography as Art

Since the beginning of time, the world has seen several different art forms. Various art forms from frescos and marble statues have been exhibited and legitimized as an art form as if there was some kind of standards. However, several forms of creative expression have been thrown to the way-side. While I could go on to try and validate the legitimacy of how a greeting card or a comic book as an art form, I'm not. No, I am going to talk about another form of art. That form is pornography. If you are a rich, old conservative; a Bible thumping member of the Christian community; a soccer mom who owns a mini-van; or someone that is stupid enough to be offended by nude images in the forms of the statue of Michelangelo's David, stop reading now. Your brains are too small to have the level of understanding and capacity needed to read this essay.

As most intelligent people know, any art form involves either the ability to capture or the able to convey an emotion visually. Paintings and sculptures can come off in a variety of emotions, some of which may not be the intent of the artist. Pornography is the only form of art that must convey a certain type of emotion. If the material cannot, the viewer is either impudent or the piece sucks. So what is this emotion that pornography must be able to cause the viewer to feel? For those reading this who believe that the soul purpose of pornography is to just "get the viewer off," you're only half right. Pornography also conveys other emotions. Among this list are emotions such as desire to be with the beautiful and obviously extremely open woman on screen, and jealousy caused by the fact that the man's tool is bigger than your own (provided you have a penis).

Emotion is not the only thing that pornography stimulates. Given the age in which people can legally buy pornography, many young adults have lost the ability to imagine. Let me kill a popular myth right now. Yes, teenage boys think about sex every waking moment, but they do not do so in a creative way. As such, teenage boys have no real creative way of getting laid by that hot girl--or guy if said teenage boy is gay, if said guy is really a girl, or both--other than the direct way, which fails more often than succeeds. With the aid of pornography, boys can find a creative way of having sex in the back room of the pizza parlor without getting caught by the manager, provided that the manager is not the person he's having sex with. Pornography can also help the imagination of girls as well. By studying various pornographic material long and hard, members of the female gender can find new and fun ways to please that hot guy--or girl if said female is a lesbian, if said girl is really a guy, or both--as well as creative ways of seduction. For the married women, this is a great tool to use in trying to get that spark back into your marriage.

Art has been on this planet since the dawn of time. Ironically, so has pornography. Pornography also can be found in other forms of art, in particular the entertainment industry. Pornography is one of the few genres of entertainment art that has been in every single evolution. From the days of the nickelodeons and silent films to the modern day DVDs and internet sites, pornography has always been somewhere in each of the different stages of the evolution. So what is the reason for this staying power? Is the reason because pornography is profitable by pilfering perverts of precious pennies? No, the real reason is because people like seeing naked bodies.

Finally, I really do not feel like I need to point this out, but art has always had one other lasting subject next to the still life, the naked form. The naked body is all over the art world. Pornography also have naked bodies, and is the only subject in the style. I can see the arguments stating that pornography will never be the same kind of nude art like Michelangelo's David, the painting "The Birth of Venus," the statue of the discuss Olympian, or even Musica, a nude art work featuring nine nudes, both male and female, dancing to unheard music in bronze located in where I live. Please! Venus is obviously just a fancy striptease, David proves that you don't need to have a big dick to get noticed (proportionally speaking), the Olympian is obviously ready to get fucked by his fellow Olympians, and the nudes of Musica could easily start an orgy after they are done dancing. Bottom line, all of these are just fancy soft core porn images. This does not mean that artists are all perverts. Artists of this caliber have a deep appreciation for the beauty of the human body. Pornographers also have a deep appreciation for the beauty of the human form, particularly in the way the human form interacts with other human forms. Pornographers are nothing more than artists taking the concept of the human nude in art to the next level.

I hope this essay was a stimulating experience. Hopefully, you will now go out into the world and probe harder and deeper into what is and is not art.

The closing sucks. Too many dumb puns in there. Hopefully I will not read this out loud. If I am, I'm handing this to Wyatt. He normally reads and writes this kind of thing in English. I'm not saying that is the only thing he does. I'm saying that the class would expect something like that from him more than they do me. Maybe that is what makes it funny.

The sad thing is, as long as it took you to get this far reading, it took me all day just writing that. Consciously trying to come up with something funny that isn't presented in a situation is hard work for me. This only proves to myself that I will never be a stand-up comic... as if I had the drive to become one to begin with.

So here I am, sitting in front of the computer, waiting on pizza, and no more trick-or-treat-ers.

What a Halloween. I still wish I could have dressed up as Oogie Boogie, but I know for a fact that costume would take too much time. I don't have enough burlap. I know Ken is probably having a fun time. He loves Halloween. I bet he and Jaime are probably off somewhere right now trick-or-treating and having a great time together. It makes me wish I had a boyfriend.

Okay, I'm spent as far as writing energy goes. I'm surprised that I was able to write this much during my "Me Time."