This sucks. This really sucks.

For the past few days I have been engrossing myself into Zoo Tycoon, which I just bought. For those of you that don't know already, video games are my escape. They are my crack, cocain, marajuanha, alcohol, heroin, and just about any other drug you can think of all in a nice little box that won't kill my system unless you count my brain cells. Why? Because I need to get away from it all. Away from life. I want to get away from everything that is bothering me and for once feel like I am important and in control.

I'm not.

I can't play the game without thinking about "them." Just the fact that the game has an option where you can adopt a moose makes me think about one or two of them. I can't even enjoy a movie of mine without thinking about them. I can't even go to a Disney site anymore without feeling depressed and disappointed. Even just going to my room makes me feel like I'm going to prison with all of these bad memories flooding back like the damn dam broke.

I can't take this anymore. I want to get out. I want this all to end. I need to escape before...