Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2003 01:34:00 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: hello from groundzero...

long story short:

through random associations of an internet nature, I
found your blog. I read enough to make the (perhaps
infantile assumption that) you sounded... vexed.

I am no authority on anything - and would never
pretend to be so. We grew up in different worlds (I'm
a native New Yorker...). I live in Chelsea (gay mecca
- some would say). You are young, and have have family
issues, friendship issues, and Cathoholic angst. Many
of us have - you know you're not alone. I was also
raised Catholic, though not like you. C. school from
K-9.

Anyway, I'm writing because it's late and I'm
occasionally weak and empathic.

I offer only this: try to relax. Enjoy what you can.
Love yourself. You are very young and many things will
change over the course of your life in ways you could
never predict. You are handsome, intelligent, and have
much time to grow. I would never have imagined the
joys and pains I've gone through since I was 19 - and
I remember that time vividly. I was... much less
secure. Currently in a 5 year monogamous relationship
with a wonderfully handsome, funny, sweet, and
intelligent man. I am now 36. Took many relationships
and various dates - good and bad - to meet him.
Ironically our paths crossed many times over the
years... starting when I was only 19. Try not to hang
onto regrets and petty dramas. All will pass. Have
faith in yourself and your heart.

I hope this finds you well, and helps ease whatever
pains you may have. Let the insecurities pass over you
like a brook over rocks. The foundations of destiny
will not be swayed by whirlpools and bad currents.

Forgive my intrusion - I just felt the need to reach
out - from one soul who has known much insecurity and
pain and never forgot. I am no longer that young and
insecure boy. I am no letch and have only good
intentions.

May this strengthen your convictions and dreams. And,
btw, videogames can be an escape... but there are far
worse things people do. ;) One day you will no doubt
find passions that far exceed the 'gaming experience',
but as I say, once a gamer, always a gamer.

May peace and good fortune be with you always.

sincerely,

res_ident.


ps - if I've made a blundering or unwelcome intrusion,
please forgive my err. and (obviously) do not feel
compelled to respond - I shall bother you no more.

Normally, mail like this in my inbox wouldn't surprise me as much as it would. The only thing that would jolt me is the fact that someone out there is reading my blog. I mean, actually READING it! This one surprises me in particular because it was sent to an address that I don't give out to many people. In fact, I'm surprised that it got to that addy since the one I have linked here goes to my Hotmail account. I wonder who he knows and how he got a hold on that e-mail addy of mine.

I will say this, though. He has some valid points. I really should just relax and be happy with what I got. I haven't been doing much of a good job with that lately, that's for sure. Always wanting more than what I have because I'm not happy with it. That's not the way to live. Apparently it took me 20 years to learn that. Talk about stupid, huh?

Still, this e-mail was a nice surprise to me this morning.

Hey, what can I say? I'm an attention hog.