Woke up this morning knowing I had to get up, knowing that I have nothing now. Knowing that I lost it all. This time for real. This time for good.

No one was reading this blog. No one will. I should delete it. But that would be like taking a part of me away. I can't do that. I wanted to change the look of the blog, select a new template. I can't change who I am, so why should I change the blog? What's the point of anything anymore.

I used and abused, and I lost. I took advantage of people just so I can try and get what I wanted so badly. I am a horrible person.

Yet I still go on living when I know I should be dead. Why?