When you take naps like I did to try and make yourself feel better, you develop insomniatic behaviors.

While watching Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, I heard Paul's voice in my head. He said that I shouldn't worry about not finding the right boy for me. All I need to do is get established in a college and the rest is easy. Find somone I like and then take the initiative. That alone helped me reconsider Watkins. Hey, after all, most modern artists these day are gay.

The thing is, I know I'm going to make myself into a complete and utter goofball if and when I find someone I like. I know I should take things slow, but I'm sick of being so alone and not feeling any real love or attention. But I also know that I don't deserve any from anyone too.

Which means I'm back to square one with myself yet again.