Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Last night went down with a twist. As I was talking to Russ, James comes on. We talked, but it was way too short. I kind of wish we talked longer. Okay, I wanted to talk longer to him. That's when Russ asked me questions about who I love more. Okay, those weren't his exact words, but you know what I mean. I said that I love James alot but think that I had my shot and screwed it up. Russ thinks otherwise. Feeling very confused, Russ had Dan call me up to set me on the right path. He told me about James and how he hasn't been himself lately. How, like me, he hasn't been truely happy. It worries him alot. For the first time, I was someone that someone else depended on. James needed me to be there for him and he thinks he blew that shot with me too. I would have been better off with Russ, and Dan still thinks so, but Dan also was the one that said to just follow my heart. Despite all his flaws and short-comings and all of that comes with him that is bad, I went with James. Why? Because he needs me. I'm not trying to sound egotistical, but he does need me.

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