I hate this computer. It's only been three days and this computer has already given me greif.

Today, I had to restart this eMachine about 5 times to just get online and blog this. Before that, I did some checks to see if there may be something internal that I'm not aware of. This meant that I went and did some disk defraging and clean up. I made sure I recorded a restore point after that. Should anything happen from this point on, it should be interesting. It's weird, though. Everything that we have done to this point should not have caused such a major boot failure. It can't be the power either. So what is causing all this?

Earlier today, after I bloged about how my allergies were killing me, I slept and drank as much water as my bladder could hold. Maybe I could piss the pollen out. Stupid, but it's better than sitting there sniffling and tearing like I am at some funeral.

I also started thinking about something Mark said to me about my loyalty to the guys. I won't go into details about it, but the more I thought about it, the more I missed the guys. I was thinking about going on AIM and making a new screen name. The thing is, the more I thought about making a new screen name, the more I didn't want to make one. Online is great and all, and I miss the attention alot. I won't lie about that. It's just the pain of not being there when I need to be that makes me not want to do it ever again. The lack of actually interacting with someone. Being text on a screen may be one thing, but actually being there is another thing. In all honesty, I rather be able to move in with them than create a new AIM name. Yes, I know that communications are going to be limited (if any). Yes, I know I'm potentially making a big mistake. They are a major part of my life. They will be hard to forget and even harder to talk to online. If I could have my way, I'd be over there right now instead of blogging on a computer that could potentially not boot up tomorrow. The thing is, I never could get what I really wanted. Oh, sure, I got Pokemon Crystal and the Who Framed Roger Rabbit DVD, but those things where just compensating for what I lack. And I don't mean my penis size, you sicko. They are just there to help me forget that I don't have anyone to turn to and talk to. Sure, AIM could fill that void, but I've been there. It hasn't. It just makes it worst. It makes my heart hurt and yern for someone to be able to come down here or a chance for me to just send every atom of my being through the internet to there end. Call be greedy, but AIM just isn't enough to fill this social void that needs to be filled. At least when it involves the ones I love.