Call this a question of self worth. Call it doubt. Call it whatever you want, but right now I'm really starting to doubt if I even have an impact to change anything for the good of my so-called happiness.

Yeah, that's right, that dying emotion of mine that is only fueled by games, movies, and superficial enjoyments. I can't enjoy life like everyone else can. I don't know what the deal is really. I mean, all I seem to do is cause conflict and trouble. Two things I really don't like to cause, confront, or for that matter be responsible for. Sadly, I can't seem to avoid it. I'm more accedent prone than Jar Jar Binks! The moment I break a DDR machine, then I'll know I'm a good for nothing distruction machine. All I'm good for is distroying things it seems.

I've concluded that the only good thing I can do right now is just be a yes-man to society. I'd do less damage if I just let the world have it's way with me. If it wants to give me good things, cool. If it wants me to have a shitty life, fuck. I can't do a damn thing about it anyway. All I can do is in my off time sink into an arcade with what little money I have to play some DDR, get some exersic, maybe some attention, and try to get happy again.

I really miss those carefree days I used to have before we moved and I had to worry about stupid things like how to have people like me for me without offending them or something along that line.

I need to start listening to some music now. I'm really slipping and music is the only thing that seems to keep me stable at times like this. It's like happy juice or something.