Money

I should have blogged about this earlier, but I feel the need to say something now that it has become rather apparent.

We're poor.

My parents are considering selling a lot of our assets that they intended on passing down to us to put both myself and my sister through college. These things include a piece of land in Colorado and time shares littered throughout Florida and Virginia.

As a result of this, I'm starting to feel really guilty, and very self-defeating as well, over the matter. Simply put, if I didn't go to college in the first place, my family wouldn't be in this mess. If I had applied for more scholarships instead of thinking they were an impossible contest to win, I could have help lighten the burden.

Instead, we are now going to be put on a student loan to get through school.

Imagine being a parent that wants nothing but the best for your children. You bought them all these things you were going to pass down, hoping, praying that they will go up in value helping you grandchildren and great-grandchildren get better lifestyles. Now imagine having to sell all those things, worth probably a good hundred thousand or so at the moment, just to help your children now. You wanted to pass on all these great things to your children, but now all you are passing down to them are your debts. Red numbers that you could not get out of are now their problems.

This is not the way to live life, but sadly that is the case now. Once I graduate... IF I graduate, I'll be responsible for paying back the loans, something I've been trying to avoid.

Debt scares me.

Having responsibilities that I know are over my head scares me.

I don't think I can do this. I just cannot.