Left in the Cold

I checked my mail again to find out that Yahoo! e-mailed me about matches on my personal ad. I forgot I even had one. I looked through all the matches and found nothing that was even possible as far as a meeting goes. Besides, I can't respond to any of them anyways since I'm a free account member. You have to pay in order to get the full benefit of the program.

I talked to Brian on IMs. Turns out that there is some kind of spark between him and a crush of his. He's starting to get in shape again in hopes of winning his crush over. I'm so jealous of him for several reasons. First off, he has the motivation to chase something that may end up being nothing more than... well, nothing in the end. Second, he has the courage to do so!

Look at me. Not only do I not have the balls to go after my crushes, but I know what will happen if I do! I know for a fact that I'll end up being disappointed with what I found. I'll end up getting too attached to the person to the point of being parasitic. I'll end up being so dependent on the person that it wouldn't be funny! I'll be another emotional mess!

This coming from a person that never had a real romantic relationship.

I guess then what I just said should be thrown to the way-side because I obviously have no clue what I am talking about.