Roy Disney Resigns from Company
I knew I should have put this up sooner when I saw it, but I didn't have all the facts let alone a decent article to post. This is very interesting... and kind of scary.
I wonder what will happen to the company now.
Sunday, November 30, 2003
The Haunted Mansion
Despite all the bad reviews, I finally got to see The Haunted Mansion. Everyone says that it is nothing like Pirates of the Caribbean, but hey, that's being unfair! I mean, they had Jerry Brukhiemer (or however you spell his name)! Anyway, on with the review.
The plot of the story is simple. Long ago, two lovers were separated when "she" died from what appeared to be suicide. Flash forward to today. The ghost that haunts the home catches wind of a woman that has to be his long lost love reincarnated.
While the plot is very predictable to a point, it still holds together and flows. There are a few twists and turns here and there, but nothing that will make you go "Oh my God! What the hell?!" If anything, it would be more along the lines of "Great, now what?"
The acting in the film, for the most part, holds pretty well. While I'm aware that this is suppose to be a comedy, comedic timing on Eddie Murphy's part is way off. He's not as funny as he used to be. Yes, there were his moments, but the children where the ones that made the film funny. Must be the innocence of youth.
Visually, the film is beautiful! It is no wonder why I keep hearing talk about how some of the set pieces will be installed into either of the domestic Haunted Mansion rides. My mother, who I dragged along, said that Disney should redo the graveyard scene to fit the one from the film. I just want them to make the loading area look like that nice staircase in the main hall.
As far as ride references go, there were several. Too many, in fact. The changing portraits and the following busts from The Hall of Limbo, the breathing door, Madame Leota (of course), the Bride's dress in the attic, the hitchhiking ghosts, the singing busts. All there and accounted for.
The music was interesting. While they only used two melodies, the score still fits and adds to the mood. Too bad none of the score appears on the soundtrack, but hey, I can't complain. I don't have the soundtrack (That honor belongs to my sister.), but once I find and download Man with the Hex, I'll be a happy little haunt.
Overall, if you are just looking for something to watch and is not interested in any other movie, just go ahead and watch this one. It may not be up to everyone standards, but at least it is a movie the whole family can enjoy.
The plot of the story is simple. Long ago, two lovers were separated when "she" died from what appeared to be suicide. Flash forward to today. The ghost that haunts the home catches wind of a woman that has to be his long lost love reincarnated.
While the plot is very predictable to a point, it still holds together and flows. There are a few twists and turns here and there, but nothing that will make you go "Oh my God! What the hell?!" If anything, it would be more along the lines of "Great, now what?"
The acting in the film, for the most part, holds pretty well. While I'm aware that this is suppose to be a comedy, comedic timing on Eddie Murphy's part is way off. He's not as funny as he used to be. Yes, there were his moments, but the children where the ones that made the film funny. Must be the innocence of youth.
Visually, the film is beautiful! It is no wonder why I keep hearing talk about how some of the set pieces will be installed into either of the domestic Haunted Mansion rides. My mother, who I dragged along, said that Disney should redo the graveyard scene to fit the one from the film. I just want them to make the loading area look like that nice staircase in the main hall.
As far as ride references go, there were several. Too many, in fact. The changing portraits and the following busts from The Hall of Limbo, the breathing door, Madame Leota (of course), the Bride's dress in the attic, the hitchhiking ghosts, the singing busts. All there and accounted for.
The music was interesting. While they only used two melodies, the score still fits and adds to the mood. Too bad none of the score appears on the soundtrack, but hey, I can't complain. I don't have the soundtrack (That honor belongs to my sister.), but once I find and download Man with the Hex, I'll be a happy little haunt.
Overall, if you are just looking for something to watch and is not interested in any other movie, just go ahead and watch this one. It may not be up to everyone standards, but at least it is a movie the whole family can enjoy.
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Why could it not wait?
I'm really tired of this. I really am.
My mother gave me that damn "You're 21 years old now" speech four months in advance! She just does not get it. I swear she just does not get it. The more she or anyone for that matter pushes, the more I do not want to work! The more you push me, the more I'll shove right back with things that I, frankly, do not want any part of. I'm not your typical young adult. I'm gay. I go to an art college. I see things in shapes of value rather than actual objects now! My philosophy about getting a job is getting one that I actually enjoy doing, preferably one that involves my skills as an artist that I can use. Yes, I know that I'm still a long way away from getting to that goal, but I do not want to go to Watkins only to get trapped at some crappy ass job at Kroger!
MEANWHILE, my sister who actually wants to get a job cannot. For some bizarre reason, my mom does not want my sister to work. She wants to work at one of the Steak 'N Shakes around town, but just cannot for one reason or another. That's mostly my mom's doing. Does that make any sense at all?! I mean, come on! She actually wants to go to work, but my mother is telling her not to! My sister is legal age now! She can work if she feels like it, but the Asian side of us respect her too much to disobey "mother's orders."
I don't know her anymore. She's just a big puzzle to me that I cannot solve.
Strange. As I was typing this, I kept seeing Jaime's confused face she makes every time I say something she doesn't understand and is trying to process it so that she can. Every time I blinked I saw this.
My mother gave me that damn "You're 21 years old now" speech four months in advance! She just does not get it. I swear she just does not get it. The more she or anyone for that matter pushes, the more I do not want to work! The more you push me, the more I'll shove right back with things that I, frankly, do not want any part of. I'm not your typical young adult. I'm gay. I go to an art college. I see things in shapes of value rather than actual objects now! My philosophy about getting a job is getting one that I actually enjoy doing, preferably one that involves my skills as an artist that I can use. Yes, I know that I'm still a long way away from getting to that goal, but I do not want to go to Watkins only to get trapped at some crappy ass job at Kroger!
MEANWHILE, my sister who actually wants to get a job cannot. For some bizarre reason, my mom does not want my sister to work. She wants to work at one of the Steak 'N Shakes around town, but just cannot for one reason or another. That's mostly my mom's doing. Does that make any sense at all?! I mean, come on! She actually wants to go to work, but my mother is telling her not to! My sister is legal age now! She can work if she feels like it, but the Asian side of us respect her too much to disobey "mother's orders."
I don't know her anymore. She's just a big puzzle to me that I cannot solve.
Strange. As I was typing this, I kept seeing Jaime's confused face she makes every time I say something she doesn't understand and is trying to process it so that she can. Every time I blinked I saw this.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Well Deserved Rest
I am finally done with my Art History assignment. All of it. The last three days or so have been nothing but hell as far as typing the damn paper goes, but today was simple. Prepare a visual representation of what I have learned and make it connect to myself. I have done just that. It may be the bare minimum about of work for the visual portion, but hopefully my report will counter that.
Now all typing up my mock proposal for a Nightmare Before Christmas Broadway musical. More research and typing!! If this keeps up, I'm almost afraid I'll lose all my drawing knowledge for my Drawing 1 final.
Now all typing up my mock proposal for a Nightmare Before Christmas Broadway musical. More research and typing!! If this keeps up, I'm almost afraid I'll lose all my drawing knowledge for my Drawing 1 final.
Turkey Sandwiches and Tibetan Pilgrimages
No, I'm not dead. As you have probably guessed, I've been working on my project since Monday, researching and highlighting and typing until God knows when. Have I lost sleep? Not sure. Am I stressed beyond compare? Yes! Did I have a good Thanksgiving? Well, it could be worst.
For the record, we didn't have a big turkey, we had turkey sandwiches.
Anyway, here I am, on Black Friday (AKA No Buy Day, First Day of Shopping), stressed AGAIN! See, for my Art History final, I need to visually represent my report as well as type up an artist statement as to how it relates to the report and myself. Hard shit, if you ask me. I didn't want to use the original pictures for my piece. It's a big risk, and these pictures are kind of important. I tried to print them out, but I ended up killing the printer's ink cartrage. As such, I am forced to use the original pictures in my piece! I need to take very good care of these pieces, so I'm going to see if I cannot hold on to them until I have to present or whatever. My piece is relatively small anyway, so I don't see why not.
At least now that I replaced the black ink I can type my other papers and this damn artist statement.
I really need to rest. This is way too much work for me.
For the record, we didn't have a big turkey, we had turkey sandwiches.
Anyway, here I am, on Black Friday (AKA No Buy Day, First Day of Shopping), stressed AGAIN! See, for my Art History final, I need to visually represent my report as well as type up an artist statement as to how it relates to the report and myself. Hard shit, if you ask me. I didn't want to use the original pictures for my piece. It's a big risk, and these pictures are kind of important. I tried to print them out, but I ended up killing the printer's ink cartrage. As such, I am forced to use the original pictures in my piece! I need to take very good care of these pieces, so I'm going to see if I cannot hold on to them until I have to present or whatever. My piece is relatively small anyway, so I don't see why not.
At least now that I replaced the black ink I can type my other papers and this damn artist statement.
I really need to rest. This is way too much work for me.
Monday, November 24, 2003
Secrets of Life
“From now, “ advised Epictetus, “practice saying to everything that appears unpleasant: ‘You are just an appearance and by no means what you appear to be.’” Use the powers of your sacred imagination, the old Roman sage is saying. See behind the veil of things. Everything Matters along the road, but what matters deeply is what is invisible and must be seen with the inner eye.
~Cousineau, The Art of Pilgrimages, p. 98
Yeah, I know, I called it. I actually did some work on my final today. So sue me.
Believe it or not, this quote is telling you how to find out the meaning of life. Yes, that’s right. The answer to the question as to why we are here is in this very quote. Okay, it may not be exactly there all spelled out and nice, but it is there. At least, it is telling you how to find it.
The good thing is, I don’t have to do what it is telling me to do because I already did it. I went on a pilgrimage, unknowingly, and saw and experienced things that just made me want to be an artist more than anything. If anything at all, it help me appreciate pieces of art that I thought I would never be able to see in my life, and probably will never see again in my life either.
I hope I’m not fooling myself into thinking that I found my meaning for life and destiny. That would suck if I find out that I am way off base.
~Cousineau, The Art of Pilgrimages, p. 98
Yeah, I know, I called it. I actually did some work on my final today. So sue me.
Believe it or not, this quote is telling you how to find out the meaning of life. Yes, that’s right. The answer to the question as to why we are here is in this very quote. Okay, it may not be exactly there all spelled out and nice, but it is there. At least, it is telling you how to find it.
The good thing is, I don’t have to do what it is telling me to do because I already did it. I went on a pilgrimage, unknowingly, and saw and experienced things that just made me want to be an artist more than anything. If anything at all, it help me appreciate pieces of art that I thought I would never be able to see in my life, and probably will never see again in my life either.
I hope I’m not fooling myself into thinking that I found my meaning for life and destiny. That would suck if I find out that I am way off base.
Fall Finals
This is probably a mistake, but I bet you anything that even though I'm all "I don't feel like even looking at my finals for the rest of the day" right now, I'll end up doing something related to them.
I have my work cut out for me, and it looks like a big load.
First off, the final that takes number one priority is Art History. There are several reasons for this. First of all, it is the first final that is due next week. Second, of the two that I have to do, I seem to be behind in comparison to the other. Lastly, this particular project seems to be the easiest to complete. All I have to do is read a bunch of research, type a paper while citing my sources, document the progress of my visual representation as well as supply an artistic statement for it, and present the piece.
This should be the first to go.
Second on the list is the final for Creativity. I'm much farther on this than I originally thought I would be. I have most of the sets I want for it designed up. Crudely but at least they are down on paper. All I need are some more props and costumes, then I can start looking up how to write up my grant proposal for the play. How this will display my creative process, I have no clue. This is what makes it hard, and for some reason it is always easier to save the hardest thing to do last. Just ask Pixar. Okay, bad example, but still.
I really need to learn to relax at the end of the day.
I have my work cut out for me, and it looks like a big load.
First off, the final that takes number one priority is Art History. There are several reasons for this. First of all, it is the first final that is due next week. Second, of the two that I have to do, I seem to be behind in comparison to the other. Lastly, this particular project seems to be the easiest to complete. All I have to do is read a bunch of research, type a paper while citing my sources, document the progress of my visual representation as well as supply an artistic statement for it, and present the piece.
This should be the first to go.
Second on the list is the final for Creativity. I'm much farther on this than I originally thought I would be. I have most of the sets I want for it designed up. Crudely but at least they are down on paper. All I need are some more props and costumes, then I can start looking up how to write up my grant proposal for the play. How this will display my creative process, I have no clue. This is what makes it hard, and for some reason it is always easier to save the hardest thing to do last. Just ask Pixar. Okay, bad example, but still.
I really need to learn to relax at the end of the day.
With the Good Comes the Bad
This week I only have to go to school for one day, today! Yeah!
Unfortunately, next week is when two of my most difficult finals are due, both of which are first thing on the list.
On top of that, I will end up kicking myself in the ass if I do not end up getting both of them done by the time Sunday rolls around. You know why? That would mean that I would have spent my entire six-day weekend doing nothing at all!! And that would suck bad.
Yeah, I know it was kind of expected of me to look up stuff about pilgrimages on the damn break I have that celebrates a holiday started by pilgrims. Weird, huh?
Unfortunately, next week is when two of my most difficult finals are due, both of which are first thing on the list.
On top of that, I will end up kicking myself in the ass if I do not end up getting both of them done by the time Sunday rolls around. You know why? That would mean that I would have spent my entire six-day weekend doing nothing at all!! And that would suck bad.
Yeah, I know it was kind of expected of me to look up stuff about pilgrimages on the damn break I have that celebrates a holiday started by pilgrims. Weird, huh?
Sunday, November 23, 2003
Starting to Forget
Even though I cannot sleep right now, I did find it easy to forget about various things in my past now.
Like Jaime told me before, it will take you the same amount of time that you invest into someone emotionally to get over them. I'm already starting to forget some of those people. Well, I'm not forgetting their name any time soon with the exception of one or two, but I am forgetting as to how I got to know them.
Slowly but surely I'm erasing the pain away. I guess that's a good thing. This means that sooner or later I'll be able to open my trunk and not get upset about what is inside it.
I wonder if this means that I'm a little bit closer to getting a real, genuine, loving, and true boyfriend now. No, that's just being too hopeful.
Like Jaime told me before, it will take you the same amount of time that you invest into someone emotionally to get over them. I'm already starting to forget some of those people. Well, I'm not forgetting their name any time soon with the exception of one or two, but I am forgetting as to how I got to know them.
Slowly but surely I'm erasing the pain away. I guess that's a good thing. This means that sooner or later I'll be able to open my trunk and not get upset about what is inside it.
I wonder if this means that I'm a little bit closer to getting a real, genuine, loving, and true boyfriend now. No, that's just being too hopeful.
I'm not suppose to be this lazy until AFTER Thanksgiving dinner!
Today, all day, or at least for the better half of the day, I slept. Yes, slept like a dog. I hope that I am caught up with all the hours of sleep that I lost, but for all I know I am still in debt.
I also, for some reason, decided to push back my finals to Thanksgiving break. I guess all the stuff I did for Creativity on Saturday after I blogged killed any chance that I would do my Art History. Still, I do find my subject for my History final quite interesting. It is helping me have a better appreciation for my faith... even if I am not a practicing member of it... and gay.
Jessica's been Christmas and birthday shopping again for all her friends. That's my sister for you. She knows the value of a dollar. I think I do too, which is why I try to not buy anything with the $156 I still have in my savings. I hope that I get some kind of Christmas cash to spend... or save if I end up being smart and not greedy. (Yeah, right, like that will happen.) I kept dropping hints with my aunt saying that I wish I had that gift card that my mom gave us a few years ago that acted like a credit card only with $500 on it. I mean, last time, I only had $50 on it, and I couldn't get what I wanted. Well, at least I used it to get a cheap watch, but that was because I needed one and no one else thought to get one for me. Shows how much my parents know me, huh?
God, for once I really wish they would do something special for me on Christmas like get me a Playstation2 with all the games that I wish I had... or at least a Playstation2 with a $500 Toys 'R Us gift certificate so I can get the games I want.
Crap, I just wished something on here, which means I will never get it.
I also, for some reason, decided to push back my finals to Thanksgiving break. I guess all the stuff I did for Creativity on Saturday after I blogged killed any chance that I would do my Art History. Still, I do find my subject for my History final quite interesting. It is helping me have a better appreciation for my faith... even if I am not a practicing member of it... and gay.
Jessica's been Christmas and birthday shopping again for all her friends. That's my sister for you. She knows the value of a dollar. I think I do too, which is why I try to not buy anything with the $156 I still have in my savings. I hope that I get some kind of Christmas cash to spend... or save if I end up being smart and not greedy. (Yeah, right, like that will happen.) I kept dropping hints with my aunt saying that I wish I had that gift card that my mom gave us a few years ago that acted like a credit card only with $500 on it. I mean, last time, I only had $50 on it, and I couldn't get what I wanted. Well, at least I used it to get a cheap watch, but that was because I needed one and no one else thought to get one for me. Shows how much my parents know me, huh?
God, for once I really wish they would do something special for me on Christmas like get me a Playstation2 with all the games that I wish I had... or at least a Playstation2 with a $500 Toys 'R Us gift certificate so I can get the games I want.
Crap, I just wished something on here, which means I will never get it.
Saturday, November 22, 2003
Songs of my Heart
I was working on my 2D collage and ran out of glue in the process. Right now, I'm waiting for it to dry.
But this is unimportant to something that has been on my mind for a while.
Awhile back, I blogged about how I keep reverting back to a default fantasy of the perfect boy. The other night, I game him a name, and that name made me think long and hard about my feelings deep inside. That name was James. Yes, James, as in the muscle god, the Adonis, the perfect boy ever built. The very same James that is a dumb as a post but as loving and caring as an angel. Yes, the very same James I had an internet fling with. Since then, I've been trying to get rid of the fantasy, but the sad fact is that it gives me way too much comfort every time I go into that little bubble every night.
Today, I was listening to my aunt's AIDA soundtrack. James came up again, but it was thanks to various songs from the Broadway play. It distracted me from my work. The first song was "Easy As Life", which made me think about my choice when I e-mailed them something I will not blog about here.
Easy As Life
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
This is the moment when the gods expect me
To beg for help but I won't even try
I want nothing in the world but myself to protect me
And I won't lie down, roll over and die
All I have to do is forget how much I love him
All I have to do is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation
Passion would have cooled
And all the magic would have died
It's easy
It's easy
All I have to do is pretend I never knew him
On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart
Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start
It's easy
It's easy
Until I think about him as he was when I last touched him
And how he would have been were I to be with him today
Those very rare occasions don't let up they keep on coming
All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away
It's easy
It's easy as life
But then I see the faces of a worn, defeated people
A father and a nation who won't let a coward run
Is this how the gods reward the faithful through the ages?
Forcing us to prove that the hardest things we've done
Are easy
So easy
And though I'll think about him till the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy
It's easy as life
It's easy as life
It's easy as life
I don't know what it is about this song, but it makes me remember how bitter I was to James. How I felt that he was nothing more but an insensitive jerk, too stupid to really know what love should be, and too ignorant to realize that I am a real person with real feelings. It almost makes me feel justified for writing what I wrote. You know, as if I was right. Then I hear "Radames' Letter" and think of the past. This song would have been perfect had I realized my true feelings sooner.
Radames' Letter
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
I'm sorry for everything I've said
And for anything I forgot to say too
When things get so complicated
I stumble at best muddle through
I wish that our lives could be simple
I don't want the world only you
Oh I wish I could tell you this face to face
But there's never the time never the place
So this letter will have to do
I love you
The third and last song from the soundtrack is "Written in the Stars", which for some reason makes me feel a deep regret for my actions, for actually saying in so-many words that I feel better off without James because of how we get along. I don't think the lyrics have that mutual feeling that it should, mostly because I don't know how James feels. At best, I think both parts are a good representation of how two faced I can be.
Written in the Stars
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
Aida
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really isn't it? A word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell
Then someone you once so long ago, so well
Radames
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Or some god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Aida
Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, nor any place to hide
Radames
You are all I ever want but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thought I wish I'd never learn
Radames & Aida
What it is to be in love
And have that love returned
Aida
Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Radames & Aida
Or some god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
ADVERT: Buy the AIDA Original Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
Sometimes, I stumble across something that I want to share because I think it is cool for whatever reason. Recently, for some unexplained reason, I noticed the spiritual undertone of the song "He Lives in You" from The Lion King Broadway. I thought it was an interesting song for church, particularly for baptisms. I think I'm the only one in my family that still gets that impression when listening to the song. I guess I'm the only one that can take it out of context and see it like that. If only I could share this with James.
He Lives in You
Music and Lyrics by Mark Mancina, Jay Rifkin, and Lebo M
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Night and the spirit of life calling mamela
And a voice just the fear of a child answers
mamela
Ubu khosi bo khokho (This is the throne of our ancestors)
We ndodana ye sizwe sonke (Oh, son of the nation)
Wait, there's no mountain too great
Hear the words and have faith
Have faith
He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you
ADVERT: Buy The Lion King Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
Earlier in a rant of mind, I had a little blog that featured the lyrics to "Home" from Beauty & the Beast Broadway. Apparently, the lyrics I posted earlier do not have a key line that the CD does.
"What I'd give to return to the life that I knew lately?
But I know that I can't solve my problems going back"
This is a bitter pill to swallow, but I know I learned that lesson too late... or maybe I never learned it to begin with seeing how I wish that things were better off with James somewhere in my life.
I think I'll close this blog with a song of the Beast's that pretty much tells how I feel about my future love life as far as where I think my crush on Jason goes. (Wyatt and Coffey are out of the picture now seeing how those feelings were nothing more than me being a slut.) Just replace the gender in the lyrics. Also, keep in mind that this song also reminds me of James. Frankly, I think that if I couldn't get the perfect boy in the world as far as love goes, then I'm not worthy of any boy out there.
If I Can't Love Her
Music by Alan Menken
Lyrics by Tim Rice
And in my twisted face
There's not the slightest trace
Of anything that even hits at kindness
And from my tortured shape
No comfort, no escape
I see, but deep within is utter blindness
Hopeless
As my dream dies
As the time flies
Love a lost illusion
Helpless
Unforgiven
Cold and driven
To this sad conclusion
No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her
No passion could reach me
No lesson could teach
How I could have loved her and make her love me too
If I can't love her, then who?
Long ago I should have seen
All the things I could have been
Careless and unthinking I moved onward
No pain could be deeper
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore if I can't love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
But it's not to be
If I can't love her
Let the world be done with me
ADVERT: Buy the Beauty and the Beast Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I'm not getting paid to put those links in this blog. I just feel that this time you people should actually get these priceless CDs and add them into your collection much like my aunt did. The music from each of the soundtracks should be rightfully rewarded for their genius and artistic value... even if they are all under $20.
But this is unimportant to something that has been on my mind for a while.
Awhile back, I blogged about how I keep reverting back to a default fantasy of the perfect boy. The other night, I game him a name, and that name made me think long and hard about my feelings deep inside. That name was James. Yes, James, as in the muscle god, the Adonis, the perfect boy ever built. The very same James that is a dumb as a post but as loving and caring as an angel. Yes, the very same James I had an internet fling with. Since then, I've been trying to get rid of the fantasy, but the sad fact is that it gives me way too much comfort every time I go into that little bubble every night.
Today, I was listening to my aunt's AIDA soundtrack. James came up again, but it was thanks to various songs from the Broadway play. It distracted me from my work. The first song was "Easy As Life", which made me think about my choice when I e-mailed them something I will not blog about here.
Easy As Life
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
This is the moment when the gods expect me
To beg for help but I won't even try
I want nothing in the world but myself to protect me
And I won't lie down, roll over and die
All I have to do is forget how much I love him
All I have to do is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation
Passion would have cooled
And all the magic would have died
It's easy
It's easy
All I have to do is pretend I never knew him
On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart
Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start
It's easy
It's easy
Until I think about him as he was when I last touched him
And how he would have been were I to be with him today
Those very rare occasions don't let up they keep on coming
All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away
It's easy
It's easy as life
But then I see the faces of a worn, defeated people
A father and a nation who won't let a coward run
Is this how the gods reward the faithful through the ages?
Forcing us to prove that the hardest things we've done
Are easy
So easy
And though I'll think about him till the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy
It's easy as life
It's easy as life
It's easy as life
I don't know what it is about this song, but it makes me remember how bitter I was to James. How I felt that he was nothing more but an insensitive jerk, too stupid to really know what love should be, and too ignorant to realize that I am a real person with real feelings. It almost makes me feel justified for writing what I wrote. You know, as if I was right. Then I hear "Radames' Letter" and think of the past. This song would have been perfect had I realized my true feelings sooner.
Radames' Letter
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
I'm sorry for everything I've said
And for anything I forgot to say too
When things get so complicated
I stumble at best muddle through
I wish that our lives could be simple
I don't want the world only you
Oh I wish I could tell you this face to face
But there's never the time never the place
So this letter will have to do
I love you
The third and last song from the soundtrack is "Written in the Stars", which for some reason makes me feel a deep regret for my actions, for actually saying in so-many words that I feel better off without James because of how we get along. I don't think the lyrics have that mutual feeling that it should, mostly because I don't know how James feels. At best, I think both parts are a good representation of how two faced I can be.
Written in the Stars
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Tim Rice
Aida
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really isn't it? A word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell
Then someone you once so long ago, so well
Radames
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Or some god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Aida
Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, nor any place to hide
Radames
You are all I ever want but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thought I wish I'd never learn
Radames & Aida
What it is to be in love
And have that love returned
Aida
Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Radames & Aida
Or some god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
ADVERT: Buy the AIDA Original Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
Sometimes, I stumble across something that I want to share because I think it is cool for whatever reason. Recently, for some unexplained reason, I noticed the spiritual undertone of the song "He Lives in You" from The Lion King Broadway. I thought it was an interesting song for church, particularly for baptisms. I think I'm the only one in my family that still gets that impression when listening to the song. I guess I'm the only one that can take it out of context and see it like that. If only I could share this with James.
He Lives in You
Music and Lyrics by Mark Mancina, Jay Rifkin, and Lebo M
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala
Night and the spirit of life calling mamela
And a voice just the fear of a child answers
mamela
Ubu khosi bo khokho (This is the throne of our ancestors)
We ndodana ye sizwe sonke (Oh, son of the nation)
Wait, there's no mountain too great
Hear the words and have faith
Have faith
He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you
ADVERT: Buy The Lion King Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
Earlier in a rant of mind, I had a little blog that featured the lyrics to "Home" from Beauty & the Beast Broadway. Apparently, the lyrics I posted earlier do not have a key line that the CD does.
"What I'd give to return to the life that I knew lately?
But I know that I can't solve my problems going back"
This is a bitter pill to swallow, but I know I learned that lesson too late... or maybe I never learned it to begin with seeing how I wish that things were better off with James somewhere in my life.
I think I'll close this blog with a song of the Beast's that pretty much tells how I feel about my future love life as far as where I think my crush on Jason goes. (Wyatt and Coffey are out of the picture now seeing how those feelings were nothing more than me being a slut.) Just replace the gender in the lyrics. Also, keep in mind that this song also reminds me of James. Frankly, I think that if I couldn't get the perfect boy in the world as far as love goes, then I'm not worthy of any boy out there.
If I Can't Love Her
Music by Alan Menken
Lyrics by Tim Rice
And in my twisted face
There's not the slightest trace
Of anything that even hits at kindness
And from my tortured shape
No comfort, no escape
I see, but deep within is utter blindness
Hopeless
As my dream dies
As the time flies
Love a lost illusion
Helpless
Unforgiven
Cold and driven
To this sad conclusion
No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her
No passion could reach me
No lesson could teach
How I could have loved her and make her love me too
If I can't love her, then who?
Long ago I should have seen
All the things I could have been
Careless and unthinking I moved onward
No pain could be deeper
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore if I can't love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
But it's not to be
If I can't love her
Let the world be done with me
ADVERT: Buy the Beauty and the Beast Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack direct from Walt Disney Broadway!
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I'm not getting paid to put those links in this blog. I just feel that this time you people should actually get these priceless CDs and add them into your collection much like my aunt did. The music from each of the soundtracks should be rightfully rewarded for their genius and artistic value... even if they are all under $20.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Well, there's a nice wake up call.
I turned on the TV like I always do to check the whether. I got a little blip of it, but the main news this morning is that Turkey was attacked by terrorists, namely the UK Conciliate building was bombed. Naturally, the major news stations are all over it like flies on shit.
I hate waking up to things like these, but then again, most of the news aired these days are always some form of bad news. Soldiers getting killed, midnight murders, on-going war updates, the new idiotic move of Bush. Maybe that's why we have sit coms so that we can get away from reality for once and be happy.
I hate waking up to things like these, but then again, most of the news aired these days are always some form of bad news. Soldiers getting killed, midnight murders, on-going war updates, the new idiotic move of Bush. Maybe that's why we have sit coms so that we can get away from reality for once and be happy.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Booked Solid
Today was interesting. Oh yes, it's true.
I did things today I don't normally do.
Outside I worked on a project, but the wind forced me to take my work inside. Once there, I worked on my 2D collage, my new assignment. I did not have to, but I did after blogging in the library.
Speaking of which, I got lucky and went down to the downtown library. I am still pleasantly surprised that I was able to find everything I needed on pilgrimages there... and then some.
I got to go to the reading tonight. I don't think my sister or mother enjoyed waiting in the cafe for and hour while I listened to a writing style I actually like to read. I don't know what it is, but something about the old master's written work bores me to death. Amanda Stern's fresh writing style, however, is probably the only thing that keeps me hoping the standard teaching practice of English Lit. will chance. Her book is the second book that I am willing to read on my own. That in itself tells me that I will enjoy it.
Sitting in the gallery felt odd. I saw everyone I knew and was fond of. Jaime, Ken, Christina, Wyatt, even Austin whom I haven't seen in a week! It was like some kind of perfect, little, fun class. It felt strange, but it was the good kind of strange.
Overall, I wished everyday was like today. I had fun; I actually got some important work done; I am no longer stressed. Life just feels good for once.
That can only mean one thing.
Tomorrow is going to suck.
I did things today I don't normally do.
Outside I worked on a project, but the wind forced me to take my work inside. Once there, I worked on my 2D collage, my new assignment. I did not have to, but I did after blogging in the library.
Speaking of which, I got lucky and went down to the downtown library. I am still pleasantly surprised that I was able to find everything I needed on pilgrimages there... and then some.
I got to go to the reading tonight. I don't think my sister or mother enjoyed waiting in the cafe for and hour while I listened to a writing style I actually like to read. I don't know what it is, but something about the old master's written work bores me to death. Amanda Stern's fresh writing style, however, is probably the only thing that keeps me hoping the standard teaching practice of English Lit. will chance. Her book is the second book that I am willing to read on my own. That in itself tells me that I will enjoy it.
Sitting in the gallery felt odd. I saw everyone I knew and was fond of. Jaime, Ken, Christina, Wyatt, even Austin whom I haven't seen in a week! It was like some kind of perfect, little, fun class. It felt strange, but it was the good kind of strange.
Overall, I wished everyday was like today. I had fun; I actually got some important work done; I am no longer stressed. Life just feels good for once.
That can only mean one thing.
Tomorrow is going to suck.
Stress, What I Don't Need
I really do not need all this stress. I mean, I really don't.
Right now, as if you cannot tell by the time of day that I am blogging this, I am in the library. The reason I am in here is because I needed to find some information to provide some kind of foundation for my Art History final. Well, guess what? I didn't find jack shit about anything! I thought I had a few gem stones here and there, but they ultimately ended up being nothing more than just a bunch of generalizations about the concept of pilgrimages in the religions I'm looking for. I already have all the notes I could possibly want for Christian pilgrimages, and since that is all that was turning up... well, you can pretty much go from there.
In other news, I am trying to get myself a ride back to school for a reading. No, it's not one of those psychic readings or anything like that. It is a reading from a book. Originally, I didn't want to go, but my English teacher said that it could help our grades out some, so I figured "Why the hell not?" It may be kind of high school of her to do this, but at least my grade would improve some.
Ethan was right next to me. Apparently, he just finished writing something with no capitalizations and no punctuation. He's strange, but I like him. Wyatt has a mega crush on him, and I can see why too. I find it odd that I do not have an attraction to him. He is sort of my type, if he didn't smoke and got rid of that tattoo of his. Maybe it is because I know better? No, that can't be it. If that was the case, then why do I get this funny feeling around Wyatt like I do with Coffey and Jason? I'll never know these things. Thanks to Ethan, however, the air around me as well as the scent on my hand smells like cinnamon.
Right now, as if you cannot tell by the time of day that I am blogging this, I am in the library. The reason I am in here is because I needed to find some information to provide some kind of foundation for my Art History final. Well, guess what? I didn't find jack shit about anything! I thought I had a few gem stones here and there, but they ultimately ended up being nothing more than just a bunch of generalizations about the concept of pilgrimages in the religions I'm looking for. I already have all the notes I could possibly want for Christian pilgrimages, and since that is all that was turning up... well, you can pretty much go from there.
In other news, I am trying to get myself a ride back to school for a reading. No, it's not one of those psychic readings or anything like that. It is a reading from a book. Originally, I didn't want to go, but my English teacher said that it could help our grades out some, so I figured "Why the hell not?" It may be kind of high school of her to do this, but at least my grade would improve some.
Ethan was right next to me. Apparently, he just finished writing something with no capitalizations and no punctuation. He's strange, but I like him. Wyatt has a mega crush on him, and I can see why too. I find it odd that I do not have an attraction to him. He is sort of my type, if he didn't smoke and got rid of that tattoo of his. Maybe it is because I know better? No, that can't be it. If that was the case, then why do I get this funny feeling around Wyatt like I do with Coffey and Jason? I'll never know these things. Thanks to Ethan, however, the air around me as well as the scent on my hand smells like cinnamon.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Stop with the Crushes!
Okay, this tears it! I am sick and tired of the way I am acting around the crushes I have! I really am! I need to do one of two things. I need to either get away from it all or find myself a boyfriend now!
What do I mean by get away from it all? I mean, really get away! I want to go somewhere where I cannot get in contact with anyone even remotely attractive. A lesbian cruise sounds like the best bet, but I do not have that much cash on me. Still, I just want to get away from Coffey, Jason, and Wyatt! I don't know why I'm acting the way I am around them, and quite frankly, I really should know better than to act the way I do around them.
What have I been doing that is upsetting me that I have deemed to be a wrong action? For starters, during Drawing 1 this morning, I found myself constantly migrating over towards Wyatt's area even though my drawing needed more attention then what I was giving it. In Creativity, I practically shadowed Jason every chance I could get. During break, I even tapped his butt as I was walking back to class after the break. He was getting a snack from the vending machine and was blocking my way. Then, after getting some information about what I need for 2D tomorrow, I noticed that Coffey was wearing another tank top that just hugs his built body like nothing else. I made a snide comment about it as if I was disgusted, but in reality, that's just my way of flirting.
I shouldn't be acting this way! I really shouldn't! Not in school! If I wanted to act like this, I should be at a club or something. I don't know what it is that is making me do these things at the most inappropriate times! Hell, it's probably the same force that is making me mysteriously attracted to Wyatt for all I know!
This needs to stop. I really need to get a grip on reality and stop acting like I'm in control of my own fairy tale.
What do I mean by get away from it all? I mean, really get away! I want to go somewhere where I cannot get in contact with anyone even remotely attractive. A lesbian cruise sounds like the best bet, but I do not have that much cash on me. Still, I just want to get away from Coffey, Jason, and Wyatt! I don't know why I'm acting the way I am around them, and quite frankly, I really should know better than to act the way I do around them.
What have I been doing that is upsetting me that I have deemed to be a wrong action? For starters, during Drawing 1 this morning, I found myself constantly migrating over towards Wyatt's area even though my drawing needed more attention then what I was giving it. In Creativity, I practically shadowed Jason every chance I could get. During break, I even tapped his butt as I was walking back to class after the break. He was getting a snack from the vending machine and was blocking my way. Then, after getting some information about what I need for 2D tomorrow, I noticed that Coffey was wearing another tank top that just hugs his built body like nothing else. I made a snide comment about it as if I was disgusted, but in reality, that's just my way of flirting.
I shouldn't be acting this way! I really shouldn't! Not in school! If I wanted to act like this, I should be at a club or something. I don't know what it is that is making me do these things at the most inappropriate times! Hell, it's probably the same force that is making me mysteriously attracted to Wyatt for all I know!
This needs to stop. I really need to get a grip on reality and stop acting like I'm in control of my own fairy tale.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Familiar Strangers
Maybe it is just me. I don't know. Today, I felt as if i was nothing more than a stranger to the people I knew. It's my own fault that I feel this way. I know it is. One of the worst things about myself is that I don't really get out or put myself out there like I should. I am really denying myself a social life of any kind, really. I know, I really should be out there in the youth work force, making money, going to see movies, and all that good stuff that my generation does. I just don't know if I can do that anymore. I think it's a self confidence issue. Still, I felt like I don't belong where I am again. I do not feel like I am part of Watkins; I do not feel like I belong in my so-called circle of friends. I just don't feel like I should be anywhere where I am right now. I feel alone with only myself to entertain, and as much as I like to think that I am easy to please, to please myself is such a hard thing for me to do.
I really have some issues I need to work out. Deeply rooted ones.
I really have some issues I need to work out. Deeply rooted ones.
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Creative Energy Zapped Dry by Pizza and Burgers
I think I have secured myself in one of the many circles of Hell. I was such the glutton today. Pizzas and burgers and fries. The food in my stomach too over not only how fast I would normally move, but how creative I normally am as well. I couldn't find a cool and creative way to knock out in detail my Nightmare Before Christmas Broadway stage art let alone anything else!
I guess for the next few weeks I should lay off all the fast food until finals are dead and done.
I guess for the next few weeks I should lay off all the fast food until finals are dead and done.
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Saddest Movie Since Bambi?
Today, I tried my best to knock out my Nightmare Before Christmas Broadway proposal drawings, but realized that my scale in set was off by a huge amount. Apparently, I couldn't focus. Must have been that drawing project that is due Tuesday. Tomorrow, I'll redraw every one of my sets in grave detail.
To relax my mind, I watched Finding Nemo. My sister hasn't seen it, so I waited until she was done so she could watch it too. Lord knows she needs to relax, what with her mid-terms and all that coming up. If she thinks high school is bad, just wait until she gets into college.
Anyway, I think watching that movie was a mistake. For some reason, my sister kept crying at almost every other scene in the movie! I mean, yeah, the story is every moving and it has its strong points, but I didn't know it was this strong! I don't remember her ever getting this kind of reaction out of a movie before. Hell, she cried more watching this movie than she did watching SeaBiscut with her boyfriend!!
Anyway, that's my day today.
To relax my mind, I watched Finding Nemo. My sister hasn't seen it, so I waited until she was done so she could watch it too. Lord knows she needs to relax, what with her mid-terms and all that coming up. If she thinks high school is bad, just wait until she gets into college.
Anyway, I think watching that movie was a mistake. For some reason, my sister kept crying at almost every other scene in the movie! I mean, yeah, the story is every moving and it has its strong points, but I didn't know it was this strong! I don't remember her ever getting this kind of reaction out of a movie before. Hell, she cried more watching this movie than she did watching SeaBiscut with her boyfriend!!
Anyway, that's my day today.
Friday, November 14, 2003
Personally
“What am I? Why am I the way that I am? How did I become these things?” These are the questions that haunt my mind late at night while I lay on my bed, alone again for the millionth night since I started caring.
I think everything started back when I first moved and was able to remember it in some kind of detail. We moved to a town I heard very little of and thought was a certain way. I found out soon the things I thought were wrong. I ended up paying for my ignorance with the loss of any kind of good reputation that I could have formed on my first week of school. From this point on, I was like a walking bulls eye for everyone with even the littlest of insecurity issues. Thinking I was doing some kind of good by not stooping to their level, I let them believe that they were better than myself. I hoped that the teasing and bullying would stop. Unfortunately, the teasing and taunting continued for many years. Eventually, their teasing became truth. No matter how much I wanted to not listen, the truth always found my ear. What started out as nothing more but a twisted act of kindness on my part to make my fellow students feel as if they were better than myself became a slow, painful, depressing torture where truth was the casting stone.
I remember being told that Valentine’s Day was a day were people got along. The innocence of my child-like mind still wants to believe this. What happened to me in fifth grade, however, convinced me one thing. Like the naïve little boy that I am, I collected various and cheaply printed cards and a cheaply made box. The items were to make the traditional Valentine’s Day cards and collection box that I have made the years before. Thinking that this would be my next best chance to make some kind of friend, I stupidly handed out every last card. Come lunch time, my Valentine’s Day became a living hell. My box was stolen from my feeble grasp and torn to shreds above my head. Torn cards, all of which were the ones that I gave out, came raining down upon me as if like confetti. My heart, which later healed thanks to some thought, broke. I then knew that I could never have any real friends. There is no such thing as friendship. There is no such thing as true love.
I was twelve at the time, so naturally, as soon as the hormones kicked in, I realized the truth. No one knows what love really is. No one knows what real friendship is. Being much older and a little bit wiser, I thought the people I was always around would be the same way. While the majority of the populous were, I found out that several others still never made that transition from being childish to being mature. Unfortunately, I am still in the transitional stage.
I was popular in high school among the ones that obviously had some kind of superiority problem. I was the butt of everyone’s joke. I tried to not get angry about any of them, but one nearly threw me over the edge. This happened in P. E. A class notorious for torturing the unfit and making the stupid feel like they are good at something. Of course, this was high school P. E., and as such, you were required to change in the locker rooms with lockless lockers. One day, after class, I decide to help put away the equipment we used. Upon coming back to the locker room to change, I noticed that my clothes were wet. Upon further examination, I come to find out that my clothes were urinated on. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I immediately complained and was forced to spend the rest of the day in my ugly gym uniform. These things were obvious designed to absorb sweat and not be easy on the eyes.
So what am I? I believe that I am nothing more than a tool and very expendable. Why am I the way that I am? Believe it or not, I still think that everything that I had to endure was all in charity to those foolish enough to think they are superior than everyone else by displaying it in a public fashion. My logic in this matter is so twisted, sometimes confusing even myself. How did I become to be an expendable tool for those with insecurities and superiority issues? I let it happen. I let people who obviously were weaker than myself make me the weak one just so they can feel better about themselves. Some questions still remain unanswered. Will my choice, if it has not already, affect my social life and how I approach people and make friends? Will I, if I have not already, become exactly like those who teased and made fun of me? Will something worst happen such as some kind of dependency complex where I need some kind of affirmation in that I am not as weak, stupid, or slow as those whom made me feel weak, stupid, and slow to better justify themselves? On top of all these, there is one more question that I wish I knew the answer to. Is there anyone out there, if any, that are genuinely nice or is being nice nothing more but a guise to help better one’s self up the social status quo? In other words, is everyone in the world cruel towards each other because the only one that is deemed important is their own self? I want to believe that there are people out there who can endure all the shit the world hands to them. I want to believe that there are people living in this day and age that actually care and are not pretending to do so because it makes themselves feel better. I want to believe that those like myself are indeed stronger than the ones that need to taunt and tease to make themselves seem stronger. I want to believe, but I am no longer sure anymore.
I hope I got my point across.
I think everything started back when I first moved and was able to remember it in some kind of detail. We moved to a town I heard very little of and thought was a certain way. I found out soon the things I thought were wrong. I ended up paying for my ignorance with the loss of any kind of good reputation that I could have formed on my first week of school. From this point on, I was like a walking bulls eye for everyone with even the littlest of insecurity issues. Thinking I was doing some kind of good by not stooping to their level, I let them believe that they were better than myself. I hoped that the teasing and bullying would stop. Unfortunately, the teasing and taunting continued for many years. Eventually, their teasing became truth. No matter how much I wanted to not listen, the truth always found my ear. What started out as nothing more but a twisted act of kindness on my part to make my fellow students feel as if they were better than myself became a slow, painful, depressing torture where truth was the casting stone.
I remember being told that Valentine’s Day was a day were people got along. The innocence of my child-like mind still wants to believe this. What happened to me in fifth grade, however, convinced me one thing. Like the naïve little boy that I am, I collected various and cheaply printed cards and a cheaply made box. The items were to make the traditional Valentine’s Day cards and collection box that I have made the years before. Thinking that this would be my next best chance to make some kind of friend, I stupidly handed out every last card. Come lunch time, my Valentine’s Day became a living hell. My box was stolen from my feeble grasp and torn to shreds above my head. Torn cards, all of which were the ones that I gave out, came raining down upon me as if like confetti. My heart, which later healed thanks to some thought, broke. I then knew that I could never have any real friends. There is no such thing as friendship. There is no such thing as true love.
I was twelve at the time, so naturally, as soon as the hormones kicked in, I realized the truth. No one knows what love really is. No one knows what real friendship is. Being much older and a little bit wiser, I thought the people I was always around would be the same way. While the majority of the populous were, I found out that several others still never made that transition from being childish to being mature. Unfortunately, I am still in the transitional stage.
I was popular in high school among the ones that obviously had some kind of superiority problem. I was the butt of everyone’s joke. I tried to not get angry about any of them, but one nearly threw me over the edge. This happened in P. E. A class notorious for torturing the unfit and making the stupid feel like they are good at something. Of course, this was high school P. E., and as such, you were required to change in the locker rooms with lockless lockers. One day, after class, I decide to help put away the equipment we used. Upon coming back to the locker room to change, I noticed that my clothes were wet. Upon further examination, I come to find out that my clothes were urinated on. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I immediately complained and was forced to spend the rest of the day in my ugly gym uniform. These things were obvious designed to absorb sweat and not be easy on the eyes.
So what am I? I believe that I am nothing more than a tool and very expendable. Why am I the way that I am? Believe it or not, I still think that everything that I had to endure was all in charity to those foolish enough to think they are superior than everyone else by displaying it in a public fashion. My logic in this matter is so twisted, sometimes confusing even myself. How did I become to be an expendable tool for those with insecurities and superiority issues? I let it happen. I let people who obviously were weaker than myself make me the weak one just so they can feel better about themselves. Some questions still remain unanswered. Will my choice, if it has not already, affect my social life and how I approach people and make friends? Will I, if I have not already, become exactly like those who teased and made fun of me? Will something worst happen such as some kind of dependency complex where I need some kind of affirmation in that I am not as weak, stupid, or slow as those whom made me feel weak, stupid, and slow to better justify themselves? On top of all these, there is one more question that I wish I knew the answer to. Is there anyone out there, if any, that are genuinely nice or is being nice nothing more but a guise to help better one’s self up the social status quo? In other words, is everyone in the world cruel towards each other because the only one that is deemed important is their own self? I want to believe that there are people out there who can endure all the shit the world hands to them. I want to believe that there are people living in this day and age that actually care and are not pretending to do so because it makes themselves feel better. I want to believe that those like myself are indeed stronger than the ones that need to taunt and tease to make themselves seem stronger. I want to believe, but I am no longer sure anymore.
I hope I got my point across.
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Today's Menu
I think I need to be slapped again. I mean, really. And hard too.
Over the course of the week, I acted like a damn teenie bopper around Jason, flirted with Coffey, and told Wyatt that I had two erotic dreams of him (the nature of which never happens unless I'm attracted to someone). This whole week I have felt like a big homo-slut with guys that I seem to be attracted to, one of which is definitely not my type at all! I don't understand this, and it makes me really worried about what will happen for the next three weeks of school.
Yes, I only have three weeks of school left.
Today, I had to register for the spring semester. There were the usual glitches and conflicts here and there, but one of the strangest one involved the actual registering. The Drawing 2 class I had signed up for was full, and I am locked in as far as times go since I car pool. I was told to find Terry, the head of the Fine Arts department. It was like trying to find a real life Waldo from those Where's Waldo? books that you used to read in the dentist's office. When I finally found Terry, I told him what the deal was. He went back to the registration office and started arguing with the register.
"This student needs to be in this drawing class at this time because it is the only one that works with his schedule. We need to bump someone out."
"We cannot do that unless all the other classes are full."
"But we agreed that Fine Arts students take priority in Fine Art classes."
"But that is if all classes are full, which they are not."
It went like this, back and forth, for a while until they agreed to sign me up. It may be a while until I find out if I have my Drawing 2 class or not. Here's hoping for the best.
All yesterday, and even today, I was drained of any kind of creative energy. I think it has something to do with that damn panel painting thing I did for 2D. It took a lot out of me. That reminds me, I never did find out what Jaime thought of my piece. Oh well, I'll find out either Monday or Tuesday.
Now to be a bum for the rest of today.
Over the course of the week, I acted like a damn teenie bopper around Jason, flirted with Coffey, and told Wyatt that I had two erotic dreams of him (the nature of which never happens unless I'm attracted to someone). This whole week I have felt like a big homo-slut with guys that I seem to be attracted to, one of which is definitely not my type at all! I don't understand this, and it makes me really worried about what will happen for the next three weeks of school.
Yes, I only have three weeks of school left.
Today, I had to register for the spring semester. There were the usual glitches and conflicts here and there, but one of the strangest one involved the actual registering. The Drawing 2 class I had signed up for was full, and I am locked in as far as times go since I car pool. I was told to find Terry, the head of the Fine Arts department. It was like trying to find a real life Waldo from those Where's Waldo? books that you used to read in the dentist's office. When I finally found Terry, I told him what the deal was. He went back to the registration office and started arguing with the register.
"This student needs to be in this drawing class at this time because it is the only one that works with his schedule. We need to bump someone out."
"We cannot do that unless all the other classes are full."
"But we agreed that Fine Arts students take priority in Fine Art classes."
"But that is if all classes are full, which they are not."
It went like this, back and forth, for a while until they agreed to sign me up. It may be a while until I find out if I have my Drawing 2 class or not. Here's hoping for the best.
All yesterday, and even today, I was drained of any kind of creative energy. I think it has something to do with that damn panel painting thing I did for 2D. It took a lot out of me. That reminds me, I never did find out what Jaime thought of my piece. Oh well, I'll find out either Monday or Tuesday.
Now to be a bum for the rest of today.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
I DID IT! I'M FINISHED!! Well, kind of...
No more than 10 minutes ago, I finally finished my damn eight panel painting for 2D!! Yay! Go me!
Now, on to the harder stuff. My project on how to turn Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas into a Broadway musical and my Art History final about pilgrimages.
Now, on to the harder stuff. My project on how to turn Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas into a Broadway musical and my Art History final about pilgrimages.
Productivity and Procrastination
Yesterday, I think I snapped. Because of how hard I was working all weekend long, I pretty much felt like a slacker when I had nothing to do. I knew that I had some kind of work to do, but my brain was racing to think of what it was that I had to do that I could do immediately. It got to the point where I couldn't think at all. At this point, I sat down with my GBA SP and played Yu-Gi-Oh until I felt tired.
I still do not feel like I got much of anything done yesterday, and I really don't know why that is the case. Thankfully, Creativity today is only going to be half an hour, so I'll have plenty of time to paint my last panel for my 2D project that is due tomorrow.
Finally, I am no longer a Star Wars Fan Boy. I missed Chapter 2 of the Clone Wars cartoon airing on Cartoon Network this week. I know, bad Jon! Bad, bad Jon!
I still do not feel like I got much of anything done yesterday, and I really don't know why that is the case. Thankfully, Creativity today is only going to be half an hour, so I'll have plenty of time to paint my last panel for my 2D project that is due tomorrow.
Finally, I am no longer a Star Wars Fan Boy. I missed Chapter 2 of the Clone Wars cartoon airing on Cartoon Network this week. I know, bad Jon! Bad, bad Jon!
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Faster Than Planed
Wow! I'm beside myself right now! For some reason, I surpassed my goal of getting two of my panels done for my 2D project! I got three done!! I cannot do the other remanding two because of the fact that they require paint. Everyone here gets so upset whenever I paint because I clean out my tools in the kitchen sink. I would clean it out in my own bathroom sink, but the bird is living in there temporarily.
If you have an extra bird cage, please e-mail me! Just click my name at the bottom of any blog entry. Please keep the subject line the same so you do not end up getting deleted.
Now all that is left is to read and write a response to a book for Creativity, my sketch book for Drawing 1, my personal narrative on my creative process, and my Art History project.
I have this odd feeling that I will be doing all my Art History over Thanksgiving. How ironic that I'll be looking up information about pilgrimages on a holiday started by pilgrims.
But first, I need a break!
If you have an extra bird cage, please e-mail me! Just click my name at the bottom of any blog entry. Please keep the subject line the same so you do not end up getting deleted.
Now all that is left is to read and write a response to a book for Creativity, my sketch book for Drawing 1, my personal narrative on my creative process, and my Art History project.
I have this odd feeling that I will be doing all my Art History over Thanksgiving. How ironic that I'll be looking up information about pilgrimages on a holiday started by pilgrims.
But first, I need a break!
Saturday, November 08, 2003
One Down... Several to Go...
All day during and after cartoons, I have been working on a monochromatic (one color) drawing (Isn't that kind of redundant?). I just finished it about two hours ago. As much as I enjoyed making this piece, I really feel as though I have been working way too hard on one too many things at the same time.
So let's break it down and see what I have left to do.
I am about half way through my project for 2D. I can easily get ride of one panel by making it into a line drawing with all the detail on the face that I am really proud about blocking in. Shouldn't take me long if I use ink. The other two panels are trickier. One of them is in a cubist form, which I will be painting in fine detail. I mean, really fine. I'm going to be using a size zero round tip brush. You know, the kind model geeks use?
My sketch book has two sketches in it. Frankly, given my projects and the amount of "Me Time" I've had this weekend, two sketches are more than enough. Still, if I can squeeze in some more, I think it would be best if I did.
I'm only one chapter into a book that I need to respond to for Creativity. I could do the cheating thing and respond to that one chapter, but I know a good 80% of the class may do that. I'll only do that as a last minute bail out if I am unable to finish everything else. Also, I have to be at least half way done on my Creative Process paper.
My Art History final isn't due until December, but I should have done some kind of research on it by now! Well, I haven't.
Okay, now to prioritize...
Both my sketch book and Creativity paper is due on Tuesday, so I can move that to the center of the list. Art History's due date is still about three weeks away, so that can be put on the bottom of the list provided nothing else comes up. Same deal for the Creative Process paper. The project for 2D has been extended to Monday, but I promised myself that I would have at least two panels finished by the time the weekend ends. I'm halfway there now.
Wow! All of the sudden, the work load doesn't look all that bad.
Oh well, back to work...
So let's break it down and see what I have left to do.
I am about half way through my project for 2D. I can easily get ride of one panel by making it into a line drawing with all the detail on the face that I am really proud about blocking in. Shouldn't take me long if I use ink. The other two panels are trickier. One of them is in a cubist form, which I will be painting in fine detail. I mean, really fine. I'm going to be using a size zero round tip brush. You know, the kind model geeks use?
My sketch book has two sketches in it. Frankly, given my projects and the amount of "Me Time" I've had this weekend, two sketches are more than enough. Still, if I can squeeze in some more, I think it would be best if I did.
I'm only one chapter into a book that I need to respond to for Creativity. I could do the cheating thing and respond to that one chapter, but I know a good 80% of the class may do that. I'll only do that as a last minute bail out if I am unable to finish everything else. Also, I have to be at least half way done on my Creative Process paper.
My Art History final isn't due until December, but I should have done some kind of research on it by now! Well, I haven't.
Okay, now to prioritize...
Both my sketch book and Creativity paper is due on Tuesday, so I can move that to the center of the list. Art History's due date is still about three weeks away, so that can be put on the bottom of the list provided nothing else comes up. Same deal for the Creative Process paper. The project for 2D has been extended to Monday, but I promised myself that I would have at least two panels finished by the time the weekend ends. I'm halfway there now.
Wow! All of the sudden, the work load doesn't look all that bad.
Oh well, back to work...
Friday, November 07, 2003
A Lazy Bitch's Rant
Well, despite my best efforts swearing to myself that I was going to be productive this afternoon, I failed. I cannot seem to get myself to cancel what is now known as my "Bum Day" of the week.
I sat around thinking of things to do to keep myself occupied without falling asleep. Everything that I thought up was hard to complete. Movie watching, video game playing, anything that was once remotely fun.
The only real thing I got out of today was the feeling that something is off. You know, that feeling you get when everything seems to be okay, but you know somewhere in the world something is happening that will affect you eventually. At first, I thought it had something to do with my past. I had this bad feeling that it was going to catch up with me again like last time. It sort of did. I caught a glimpse of Andrew on TV channel surfing. That's not the thing that has been nagging at me all day.
See, I found out on MouseInfo that the draft may be put back into effect. Now, remembering my first essay I wrote for English about gays in the military, I came to the conclusion that I am pretty much immune to this. All I have to do is plead gay. Then again, even straight guys that do not want to fight and die (Everyone has a fear of death these days. Myself included.) would claim gay too. That would require some kind of confirmation of some kind. What? Would they like me to fuck in front of them or something? I don't know how they are going to handle that part, but I know that Bush isn't going to take down the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy any time soon. Republicans are always anti-gay.
So why are they bringing in the draft? Well, they are running low on troops! Why are they running low on troops? Well, for starters they are all dying left and right all over Iraq! Another thing is because they keep kicking out all the gay soldiers that out themselves. If they would just keep the gay soldiers, this wouldn't have been brought to my attention!
The government is so stupid. Sometimes I am convinced that the country would run better if the average Joe was put into office instead of someone that bought their way in.
So I am up again, late. The first time since I came home that one time after I left my sister's debutante ball. It doesn't feel as odd as it did back them, but at the same time I am at a loss as to what to do with this moment of freedom. I really do no want to do any work. I rather do something fun. I suppose I could do a porn run or something on KaZaA, but at the same time, I know nothing good is on there most of the time.
I keep resorting to this one fantasy late at night right before I go to sleep, or even before I masturbate. I always dream up this really hot guy is in my bed just waiting for me to get under the blanket. Someone with Coffey's built, Leo's taste in guys, and a voice that would make women swoon and melt into a pile of goo. He would always be waiting for me to come to bed just so he can be with me after work. He would get on my case about how I didn't do this and that, but only because he likes teasing me. He takes care of me too. I dream up how he and I are living together. He is supporting the both of us as some kind of big shot model or something that pays good money. I don't mean living-off-of-the-interest kind of good money, but enough to get to the well-to-do status quo. Upper Middle Class/Lower Upper Class. I would fantasize that he wants nothing more than to just take care of me and try to make all the hurt of my past go away. He would hold me at night and cuddle and maybe even play around a little until I fell asleep.
He was never real to begin with, but being the little Imagineer that I am, I made him real... at least for the night.
I don't know why I even resort to that detailed of a fantasy these days. I used to be so easy to please. Hell, I was a slut! Okay, maybe not really, but I sure acted like I was. Still, it used to be that almost anything was enough to please me. Now, it looks like that I am ready to try and find something that I want. I mean seriously want. Too bad I know that I will never get it. I lost that chance.
HOME
Yes, I made the choice. For Papa, I will stay.
But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way, you monster!
If you think that what you've done is right, well, then...
You're a fool! Think again!
Is this home? Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed that a home could be dark and cold...
I was told ev'ry day in my childhood, even when you grow old:
"Home should be where the heart is." Never were words so true!
My heart's far, far away. Home is, too.
What I'd give to return to the life that I knew lately!
And to think I complained of a dull, provincial town!
Is this home? Am I here for a day or forever?
Shut away from the world until who knows when!
Oh, but then, as my life has been altered once, it can change again.
Build higher walls around me! Change ev'ry lock and key!
Nothing lasts. Nothing holds all of me.
My heart's far, far away, home and free!
This song makes me want to cry. I do not feel like I am home at home.
I sat around thinking of things to do to keep myself occupied without falling asleep. Everything that I thought up was hard to complete. Movie watching, video game playing, anything that was once remotely fun.
The only real thing I got out of today was the feeling that something is off. You know, that feeling you get when everything seems to be okay, but you know somewhere in the world something is happening that will affect you eventually. At first, I thought it had something to do with my past. I had this bad feeling that it was going to catch up with me again like last time. It sort of did. I caught a glimpse of Andrew on TV channel surfing. That's not the thing that has been nagging at me all day.
See, I found out on MouseInfo that the draft may be put back into effect. Now, remembering my first essay I wrote for English about gays in the military, I came to the conclusion that I am pretty much immune to this. All I have to do is plead gay. Then again, even straight guys that do not want to fight and die (Everyone has a fear of death these days. Myself included.) would claim gay too. That would require some kind of confirmation of some kind. What? Would they like me to fuck in front of them or something? I don't know how they are going to handle that part, but I know that Bush isn't going to take down the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy any time soon. Republicans are always anti-gay.
So why are they bringing in the draft? Well, they are running low on troops! Why are they running low on troops? Well, for starters they are all dying left and right all over Iraq! Another thing is because they keep kicking out all the gay soldiers that out themselves. If they would just keep the gay soldiers, this wouldn't have been brought to my attention!
The government is so stupid. Sometimes I am convinced that the country would run better if the average Joe was put into office instead of someone that bought their way in.
So I am up again, late. The first time since I came home that one time after I left my sister's debutante ball. It doesn't feel as odd as it did back them, but at the same time I am at a loss as to what to do with this moment of freedom. I really do no want to do any work. I rather do something fun. I suppose I could do a porn run or something on KaZaA, but at the same time, I know nothing good is on there most of the time.
I keep resorting to this one fantasy late at night right before I go to sleep, or even before I masturbate. I always dream up this really hot guy is in my bed just waiting for me to get under the blanket. Someone with Coffey's built, Leo's taste in guys, and a voice that would make women swoon and melt into a pile of goo. He would always be waiting for me to come to bed just so he can be with me after work. He would get on my case about how I didn't do this and that, but only because he likes teasing me. He takes care of me too. I dream up how he and I are living together. He is supporting the both of us as some kind of big shot model or something that pays good money. I don't mean living-off-of-the-interest kind of good money, but enough to get to the well-to-do status quo. Upper Middle Class/Lower Upper Class. I would fantasize that he wants nothing more than to just take care of me and try to make all the hurt of my past go away. He would hold me at night and cuddle and maybe even play around a little until I fell asleep.
He was never real to begin with, but being the little Imagineer that I am, I made him real... at least for the night.
I don't know why I even resort to that detailed of a fantasy these days. I used to be so easy to please. Hell, I was a slut! Okay, maybe not really, but I sure acted like I was. Still, it used to be that almost anything was enough to please me. Now, it looks like that I am ready to try and find something that I want. I mean seriously want. Too bad I know that I will never get it. I lost that chance.
HOME
Yes, I made the choice. For Papa, I will stay.
But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way, you monster!
If you think that what you've done is right, well, then...
You're a fool! Think again!
Is this home? Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed that a home could be dark and cold...
I was told ev'ry day in my childhood, even when you grow old:
"Home should be where the heart is." Never were words so true!
My heart's far, far away. Home is, too.
What I'd give to return to the life that I knew lately!
And to think I complained of a dull, provincial town!
Is this home? Am I here for a day or forever?
Shut away from the world until who knows when!
Oh, but then, as my life has been altered once, it can change again.
Build higher walls around me! Change ev'ry lock and key!
Nothing lasts. Nothing holds all of me.
My heart's far, far away, home and free!
This song makes me want to cry. I do not feel like I am home at home.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
I really shouldn't...
I am trying to fight the urge to fall asleep right now, but at the same time I do not want to cancel my bum day. I need the rest.
Talk about being conflicted, huh?
Talk about being conflicted, huh?
But it felt so good!
Yesterday after I blogged about the day (sort of), I made the mistake of taking a nap. Apparently I lost more sleep than I originally thought, because I did not get up until close to 14:30. The good news is that I did not miss my new favorite show It's All Relative.
Still, this morning, I'm feeling as though my day was very unproductive. I really need to make that up today... and over the weekend.
Still, this morning, I'm feeling as though my day was very unproductive. I really need to make that up today... and over the weekend.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
So Very Quiet
Today, I was hoping to get a lot of painting out of the way. Unfortunately, I was interrupted twice. The first time was when I found out that the schools new foundry was going to get its first pouring done today. I waited what must have been thirty minutes before I finally decided to go back to my painting. The second interruption was more important. My sister and my mother came looking for me (via Ken) because my sister was ill. They were going home earlier than usual today, so they decided to save gas and pick me up as well.
The ride home was so quiet. No radio. No conversation. Not even a rustling of a snack bag. The only thing that broke the silence was the turning on of the turn signal. Kind of like now how the only sound being made is the sound of me typing.
The ride home was so quiet. No radio. No conversation. Not even a rustling of a snack bag. The only thing that broke the silence was the turning on of the turn signal. Kind of like now how the only sound being made is the sound of me typing.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
It's a little bit funny, This feeling inside...
Just a brief blog before I go back to my work that I really need to complete before the week is done.
I noticed that Jason Driskyle (Like I know how to spell his last name off the top of my head.) had a painting in the student gallery that was really good. It was of a drawer full of stamps that are in various colors as if they were used repeatedly. It was really nice and won an award for it too.
Anyway, during Creativity, I congratulated him on his work. I noticed that the words kept fumbling out. For some reason, I kept having a hard time talking. Looking at him didn't help me out any. After I said what I wanted to say, I turned back and returned to my seat with a feeling of embarrassment strong in hand.
How could this be happening? And why with Jason?! He's eight years older than me!! But he doesn't look a day over nineteen!! But he isn't my type!
Okay, maybe I'm getting too ahead of myself. Let's just see how all the other encounters with him turn out and then go from there, shall we?
I noticed that Jason Driskyle (Like I know how to spell his last name off the top of my head.) had a painting in the student gallery that was really good. It was of a drawer full of stamps that are in various colors as if they were used repeatedly. It was really nice and won an award for it too.
Anyway, during Creativity, I congratulated him on his work. I noticed that the words kept fumbling out. For some reason, I kept having a hard time talking. Looking at him didn't help me out any. After I said what I wanted to say, I turned back and returned to my seat with a feeling of embarrassment strong in hand.
How could this be happening? And why with Jason?! He's eight years older than me!! But he doesn't look a day over nineteen!! But he isn't my type!
Okay, maybe I'm getting too ahead of myself. Let's just see how all the other encounters with him turn out and then go from there, shall we?
Monday, November 03, 2003
Just Like High School
I don't want to go to any of my classes today. I rather stay home and work on my other projects than sit in 2D for three hours, and then in Art History for another three hours struggling to stay awake. English is the only safe haven I have in between my classes where I do not have to worry about my projects.
You know, I don't ever remembering any of my other fine arts classes, even if they were just high school ones, being as demanding as my classes now.
I guess this is what they call a "College Freshmen Burn Out."
You know, I don't ever remembering any of my other fine arts classes, even if they were just high school ones, being as demanding as my classes now.
I guess this is what they call a "College Freshmen Burn Out."
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Incomplete
Due to the lack of creative drive because of the fact that the projects are all forced, I have not completed any of my studio assignments as well as the visual portion of Creativity today as was intended.
God, I suck. Why did I have to be so... avoidance? I was never like this before.
God, I suck. Why did I have to be so... avoidance? I was never like this before.
Left in the Cold
I checked my mail again to find out that Yahoo! e-mailed me about matches on my personal ad. I forgot I even had one. I looked through all the matches and found nothing that was even possible as far as a meeting goes. Besides, I can't respond to any of them anyways since I'm a free account member. You have to pay in order to get the full benefit of the program.
I talked to Brian on IMs. Turns out that there is some kind of spark between him and a crush of his. He's starting to get in shape again in hopes of winning his crush over. I'm so jealous of him for several reasons. First off, he has the motivation to chase something that may end up being nothing more than... well, nothing in the end. Second, he has the courage to do so!
Look at me. Not only do I not have the balls to go after my crushes, but I know what will happen if I do! I know for a fact that I'll end up being disappointed with what I found. I'll end up getting too attached to the person to the point of being parasitic. I'll end up being so dependent on the person that it wouldn't be funny! I'll be another emotional mess!
This coming from a person that never had a real romantic relationship.
I guess then what I just said should be thrown to the way-side because I obviously have no clue what I am talking about.
I talked to Brian on IMs. Turns out that there is some kind of spark between him and a crush of his. He's starting to get in shape again in hopes of winning his crush over. I'm so jealous of him for several reasons. First off, he has the motivation to chase something that may end up being nothing more than... well, nothing in the end. Second, he has the courage to do so!
Look at me. Not only do I not have the balls to go after my crushes, but I know what will happen if I do! I know for a fact that I'll end up being disappointed with what I found. I'll end up getting too attached to the person to the point of being parasitic. I'll end up being so dependent on the person that it wouldn't be funny! I'll be another emotional mess!
This coming from a person that never had a real romantic relationship.
I guess then what I just said should be thrown to the way-side because I obviously have no clue what I am talking about.
I'm just not feeling it today.
I was feeling very sloth-like this morning and went to sleep after I had breakfast. I woke up at noon.
Well, it has been two hours, and I'm starting to not feel like drawing. In fact, if I never draw again right now, I wouldn't mind. All of my drawing assignments feel forced. My 2D assignment, my Drawing 1 journal, creating visual aids for my Creativity project. All of them just feel so forced. It is starting to sap the enjoyment of drawing away...
...and that scares me.
Well, it has been two hours, and I'm starting to not feel like drawing. In fact, if I never draw again right now, I wouldn't mind. All of my drawing assignments feel forced. My 2D assignment, my Drawing 1 journal, creating visual aids for my Creativity project. All of them just feel so forced. It is starting to sap the enjoyment of drawing away...
...and that scares me.
Saturday, November 01, 2003
All Vices and No Virtue
So today I decided to take things slower than yesterday and just concentrate on one thing. What is the hardest thing to do right now on my list? Why Art History of course!
Since I'm Catholic, I know nothing about Christian Virtues or Vices. I decided to just go and look up what I could from the book. Well, the Art History book gave me about three lines on the subject. I knew that wouldn't cut it even if I sharpen it with a laser.
So, it was off to the internet I go looking for anything on the subject. I found more on the vices than I did on the virtues. See, I'm not looking for quotes from the Bible or verbal explanation as to what I am to do in order to get into Heaven (or Hell). What I am looking for is how they are each represented in art as far as their iconography goes.
The only site that helped me out was this one. I have to applaud the webmaster. He has a good sense of humor about the seven deadly sins.
So much for getting the hardest thing to do out of the way.
Since I'm Catholic, I know nothing about Christian Virtues or Vices. I decided to just go and look up what I could from the book. Well, the Art History book gave me about three lines on the subject. I knew that wouldn't cut it even if I sharpen it with a laser.
So, it was off to the internet I go looking for anything on the subject. I found more on the vices than I did on the virtues. See, I'm not looking for quotes from the Bible or verbal explanation as to what I am to do in order to get into Heaven (or Hell). What I am looking for is how they are each represented in art as far as their iconography goes.
The only site that helped me out was this one. I have to applaud the webmaster. He has a good sense of humor about the seven deadly sins.
So much for getting the hardest thing to do out of the way.
