I keep screwing up. Cosmic Law is no longer working. I'm believing in things that aren't real. The internet is not real. My ideals are not real. My dreams were never real. I have been living a false life and have been trying to fight to keep it. For what reason? Why did I continue to just try so hard to have this life I obivously cannot have?

Is there life out there? There's so much I haven't done! Is there life beyound my family and my home? I've done what I should. Should I do what I dare? I don't really want to leave. I'm just wondering if there's life out there.

How ironic that I think those words right now. They are really from an old country song by some red-head singer (I think Reba). I don't know, maybe it's because I've been up all night long and the fatigue is getting to me.

Still... what have I been missing?