I got problems. Not just any problems. I got major issuses. Issuses I can I can't seem to escape from with DDR.

Somewhere during the course of the day, I had a nightmare during a daydream. You tell me how's that possible. Anyway, the nightmare was like this...

First off, I'm really happy for Bill and Sam and how they are getting along. Those two will be best of friends untill they die. Thing is, Bill told me that Sam told him a line, a promise really, that Bill said to me. Then, over the courses of days since they knew them, they got so close that the two of them should be qualified as lovers! Sure, one of them is straight and the other is gay, but still. They are that tight. That's the base of this day-nightmare.

The actual day-nightmare takes place during a fantasy involving James. Nothing sexual, just a day dream about how cool it would be just to be with him. For some reason, the phone rang in my little daydream. It was Bill. He said that Sam and him were having the time of their lives in...

...you guessed it...

...Walt Disney World. The one place I wanted to take Bill cause he's never been. In the day-nightmare, they talk about how they just got in and Sam has been spoiling him ever since they checked into their resort room. He got Bill all the gifts I wanted to get him! He treated him to his first rollor coster, his first animatronic Disney show, even his first fireworks spectacular! Sam did everything I wanted to do to Bill as far as spoiling him at the park!

As soon as I snapped out of it, I really needed a shower. As I was in there, I was starting to think. Maybe it could happen. Maybe Sam will spoil Bill the way I couldn't. He already beat me to the first punch which was meeting them. It's only a matter of time it seems.

After the shower, I started to counter myself. I dismissed those thoughts as nothing but paranoia. Still, they lingered. They were mixed with all the other problems I have going for me. Everything from the fact I still can't drive all the way up to this. I needed to get my mind off them! I needed to get over it!

I needed DDR!

My sister was going to be buying new clothing cause of the dress code. Mom also wanted to hit up a Hawaiian themed store in OpryMills for her meeting. Hey, OpryMills has a DDR machine. It sucks, but at least they have one. I played it for a while and rested in between sets. I failed all my sets, however. My game was horrible for someone like me who has played the game so many times already and is capible of showing off. My card only has 50 points left on it now. I thought that I wouldn't get a second chance to get my mind off things cause of the fact, well, no one was watching. The machine there is also so expensive! Well, it turned out my sister didn't find any clothing worth buying, so we were going to another, smaller mall that had a better version of DDR. When I hit up Tilt, I saw that girl that I alwasy run into working there. I finally got her name! Holly. She had herself a handful of work to do, so she couldn't talk much. On top of that, their DDR machine was packed with players better than me! And two of them were very cute. There was this tall skinny one that looked like James. I almost flipped my lid when I saw him. The second of the cuties looked like a childhood friend I had when he wore his cap, but he had a different hair cut. They both were good. The both of them were better than me. Then came this one Hawaiian looking guy. He did SSR (a super hard version of DDR) and nailed it on Double Mode! I felt like a runt just then. Well, I started to play and chat with a few of them, moreso with the cute short one than with the cute tall one. The taller one that looked like James seemed content with playing fighting games as he waited for his turn on DDR. Needless to say, when I played, I didn't even bother going into Trick. I just stayed with Basic steps. And yes, I failed both of my sets. I had enough for four games in my pocket, but halfway into my third game, I got a cramp in my calf. Everyone noticed that I was in pain bad, and another guy that was waiting his turn took my place I hobbled off the game. Needless to say, that only created more problems for me. Not only could I still not get my mind off all my problems despite the two twinks that were playing, but I had a leg cramp as well!

As soon as we got home, I removed all my "gear," made my way to the bathroom, pluged the drain with a towel (since the drain pulg that came with the tub originally disappeared for some reason), and turned on the shower to create my own little waterfall. I just sat underneath the shower in ankle-deep water crying.

I have hit a dead end on the road of life so hard that I must be clinically dead as far as living a life is concerned.