Fuck.

Last night was too good to be ture. It really was.

I just found out that I got my green light too late. Way too late. I missed the boat; I'm out of option; I'm in a real pickle of a mess.

So what happened?

Well, Dan is no longer in Seattle. He's up in Boston. When word got out that I wasn't going to be able to come up, they made other plans. Why? Cause I have a reputation of not getting any results. Now that I got results, I can't do anything! There is no way to plan out of the set arrangements that they made! No way at all! They didn't expect me to hold them at gun point let alone get results that quick. Dan's mad at the situation cause he wants to help but can't do anything about it either. He's tied up with commitments. I'm mad at the situation cause of one reason.

All my life, I was told that I'll be able to do this next time, that it will always be there, that the oppurtunity won't go away. And every time I wanted to do something then and there, I was told "some other time." I hated it. On top of that, I had my heart set on one thing. That was taking Bill to Walt Disney World! I wanted to do that when we planed it. I didn't want to wait for "some other time." And now, since they canceled it and planed something else in its place, I still can't do it.

I never had the ability to do what I wanted. Never.