It shouldn't be like this!!

Why? Why am I up this early? I didn't sleep until way into the early morning hours, and yet I still got up and out of bed before 10:00! Why?

On top of that, why was it so hard to enjoy yesterday's poor excuse for freedom knowing I don't have to get up early for classes? Why is it everything I set out to do yesterday for fun wasn't fun at all? I don't want to feel alone when I'm trying to have fun, and yet I was.

This isn't right. I don't know what happened, but I somehow cut myself off from most of the world. My social interaction is that based off of requirements. If I don't have to talk to someone, I don't. I only talk to people if I'm bored and want to kill time. In the later half of the past week, I didn't talk to anyone unless I needed to, be it because it is required for whatever we are doing in class or because of some other business-like reason. My relationship with the world in general is that of hermit crab. I'm always going to be in my shell, even after I outgrow this one. The only time I'll ever talk to people now is if I need to, not because I want to.

What's wrong with me? What am I becoming? Why am I changing again? Why now?