After spending the better half of the day going through the rest of the pins on record to compleate my PinPic's profile, something amazing happened.

I went back to my bags and remembered that there were alot of junk in the bags that I packed for what seems to be no reason at all. My back pack I filled with little trinkets to make me feel more at home. You know, my little Mickey Mouse plushie, some CDs, my sketch books (no pencils), necklaces, and keys to my luggage locks. All the other stuff I packed prior to that were all there because I was hoping for something that ultimately will never happen! The videos I packed I wanted to share with Bill or James or maybe even with Dan. Not going to happen, so I put them back to where they were. I even packed a few little computer trinkets I forgot about back when Bill said he has a sweet ass computer set up for me. It's probibly broken to bits now if not broken up into it's raw parts and then used in something else. Even some of my most recently bought items I decided to leave behind for later. Almost everything I took out of my bags was somehow or another connected to Bill or James. Two of the most wonderful guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing I packed for only to end up loosing them.

That's one of my greatest fears, you know. Being alone. Having people who you thought whole heartedly were your friends to just turn their back on you. Well, not even turn their back on you you. The only thing that overshadows that is loosing contact with them. Or worst, having them forget who you are. I really don't want to be left out all alone after making such wonderful friends like Andrew and Chris and Aaron and Mark and David and Bobby and Sam and Seth and Randy and Bill and James and Dan. I want to keep them all if I can. I guess the sad realisation that I can't make me fear I'll only end up being alone again with no one special to hang out with or otherwise. I don't know, maybe I'm being stupid again. All I know is that I don't like this sinking feeling in my heart that I will end up losing everyone I love all to something as stupid and unforgiving as time.