Today was a semi-good day for a walk.

For some reason, I walked to the mall. Two hours of dodging interstate on- and off-ramp traffic among other things. Once there, I made a bee-line to Tilt, the only place with decent AC. There was a new DDR crew over there now. Ken and Holly are no longer there, but I met someone that was just a little bit cooler and really laid back. His name is Josh. That makes two that I've had the pleasure to come across. He's surprisingly very open about his life. He told me things that I wouldn't think you would tell a total stranger. It was kind of comforting and helped me easy up some. He was dressed all goth/punk with the dog collar, black shirt, baggy pants, bandanda. Blond hair, gentle features, nice voice. Too bad he's streight. He's really cool, though. He spotted me two games on DDR out of his own pocket! I tried to give his money back, but he wouldn't take it. I have this weird feeling like I owe him somehow. Who these days just hands money out to people? He said he does that because he doesn't know what will happen between now and going home and you can't take cash to the grave. I wish I had his kind of additude about life.

Just before we went our separate ways, I gave him the URL to my blog and my phone number. I told him that if he has the patiants to read all of this to learn more things about me that you probibly don't want to know. He assured me he has plenty of patients to spare. I hope he can put up with my stupidity that is apparent here.

I then just when around hitting up my normal stores in the mall. Nothing new in Suncoast, but they don't have the fourth DVD of Cowboy Bebop. EB is having a special sale where if you pre-order either Ruby or Shapphire you can get 25% off the new GameBoy Advance SP when it comes out. Toys R Us is selling Yu-Gi-Oh: Forbidden Duels for $30 for the Playstation. After that, I headed home.

Walking those seven miles (Yes, you read that right. I walked 7 miles to and back.) I saw several things that makes me wonder about this city. Some white guy laughed at me because I was walking. A van full of church youths was waving at me like they have never seen a pedestrian before! A car full of black guys were all whooping and hollering because I was able to sprint the intersection at the same speed of their car which was going only 5 miles-an-hour. And countless people cut me off as I try to cross the street because they think they have the right of way!!

So what was the reason for this? To escape. Escape from what? From all that crap that I've gone through. To get away from the other Josh I know and how I totally botched last night up. To find out if I'm even alive or if my life is dead. Okay, so that last one was a bit of an streatch, but I really wanted to know why I'm so stupid.

Josh (the one I met today) said something interesting. He likes it better to talk to people face to face than over the phone. He likes it because he can read people better and find out if they are lying and all that. I've learned that the hard way, I have to agree with him whole-heartedly. Andrew and James can't see me when I get hurt or when I realize that I did something stupid or, more importantly, when I'm happy. That's the one thing that I hate about IMing with the guys for four years. They never really saw my face. The only one that has is Dan.

When I got home, I wasn't greeted the way I was thinking I would be. It turned out that I caused a small panic. Everyone thought I ran away. If I ran away, I would have at least packed some clothes and food and stunk out at night!!! Besides, where would I run away to? And how long would I last? Really. I wish my family knew me better. Still, they have a valid reason. Only my aunt knew what I was doing. Where is another matter. Hell, I didn't even know where I was going! I just started walking and ended up at the mall!! Still, I'm glad that they didn't put my name on an Amber Alert with the cops. That would just make me wonder if they are really my parents or not.

I really need a car.