I just screwed myself over again. Yes, again.

The evening went pretty much like it always does. Talking about the day, saying this and that about so-and-so, chatting the night away without a care of the world.

Then something odd happened. Josh said that he needed to talk to me. Josh never has needed to talk to me before, so why now? I soon found out.

It seems that Josh wanted to know something. What, I don't know, but in any eveny he found out by the means in which he excels at. When we talked, he said several heartwarming things about family and how he sticks by them through right and wrong. He wanted to talk to me about that. I've been talking for the guys now for at least four years to the point where it's a nightly routine. Josh said (and I quote) "how would you like the oppertunity of a life time" on IMs. Reading it the way I did, I was thinking that he was typing still, so I waited. After about a few minutes, I typed back "what's the offer?" Bad move, Zeek. All I know from this point on is that Josh left saying something about proving his point. I got a verbal tounglashing about how this was suppose to be a no-brainer and that anyone would have said yes at a the drop of hat not waiting for that sentance to end. It was as if I didn't trust Josh, is what the IM boiled down to. I said that it wasn't like that. They didn't buy it. I got a reply back pointing out how Bill and Sam always cap-locks their IMs whenever they are excited. Apparently that was the hint that they didn't believe me. No enthusiasm. No feeling. No whatever that IMs can't give that a human experiance can.

I wish there was a better way of talking with these guys. I really with there was. Maybe then I wouldn't screw myself over so many times. Maybe then I could come off in a good way and make a good impression with Josh and everyone else.

Maybe I'm asking too much again.

If anyone is keeping score as to how many times I've screwed myself over, please let me know. My AIM screen name is XandorII.