Today has been rough. This is the first real blog that I've done in a while. Yes, that's right, no more blips here and there about this and that just so I don't forget later. This will be an actual blog.

So where to begin?

Last night, things where going like they normally do as far as IMs go. Everyone was doing laundry on their end. Andrew popped on. He was depressed. It turned out that Chris was really using him for cash. Andrew felt shattered into itsy bitsy pieces. So shattered that he went back to how he was a year or so ago. He took his first beer in hope that the pain will go away. After being sober for so long and feeling good about himself... this should have never happened.

According to Russ and James, Andrew ended up puking the beer all over the place. At first it was believed that his system has finally rejected beer if not alcohol altogether. That was before Bill said that Andrew took "something" with his beer. I knew what that "something" was. He took some kind of pill, some kind of drug with it.

At the close of the night, Andrew was hospital bound with Josh and Dan riding in the ambulance. James, Bill, and Russ stayed behind. Russ wasn't allowed to go along, while James and Bill didn't want to see their brother in the state he was in. I wanted to stay up the rest of the night, but since the iMac can't connect to the internet, I had to get off the laptop just in case my mother needed it for work in the morning.

When I woke up, I had the worst headache ever. I still have it. If this is what a hangover feels like, then now I know. I could barely do anything today short of getting up and pissing. It's been hard to concentrait and even harder to think. I feel tired and sleepy just sitting here, and all I've had was water.

Worry. Stress. Fear. A killer of the mind, heart, and emotions. I don't want Andrew to die. Not like this. Not after coming so far and beating the odds. Not after achiving so much.