Either I'm trying to loose my hearing so that I don't know what people are saying to me so that I don't respond back with something stupid or I'm trying to lose myself in the music.

Either way, it's not working. I still feel so empty and depressed.

The sad thing is that no one here is helping me feel better. At least if I was there with James and Bill (like that's going to happen NOW, you idiot), they would bug me if I locked myself in my room like I did yesturday untill I came out. Here, no one even noticed I was in my room the whole time. There, I'd have someone hugging me right now trying to coax out what is it that has me feeling so shitty. Here, I have parents that don't really give a damn. They just asked, and when I didn't answer, they left to do whatever.

I hate myself. I wish I never did what I did that night.