Online Relationship Flaw No. 2

I talked to Leo last night. Very casual and quite enjoyable conversation, really. The thing is that bothered me is that it ended with him saying that he was going to get offline and come back on later after he had some fun with his friends. He never came back.

I called him on it today when I talked to him just a while ago. He told he couldn't sit at the computer for hours on end talking to me. Somewhere towards the end, I made the realization apparent that I really don't matter to him. After all, he can't sit and talk to me for more than an hour before he feels like doing something else. On top of that, all I am is text and a JPEG to him! No real human contact of any kind.

I apparently learned a second flaw to seeking an online relationship. Endurance. Not just any kind of endurance, but a special kind that kind of goes hand and hand with patience. It's hard to describe, but parents go through it every day with their kids. That much I'm sure of.

Anyway, I guess the one thing I should really be concerned with is the fact that Leo wasn't honest with me about how he said he was going to be back last night only to just leave me in the cold. Honesty is kind of the main if not the only thing that matters in any relationship, online or real.

Sometimes I really wonder if what I am doing is really worth the effort I put into it. Several times, I've had people tell me in e-mails that I am better off without these guys given what I tell about them on the blog. Then again, they also tell me that I should move out, but I don't see that happening any time soon. Still, I cannot help but ask myself that question. Is it worth it? Will it be worth it? I want to say yes, but there is always doubt.

I really need a real life, right there in my reach, honest boyfriend in my life. Too bad I'll never meet anyone as good or better than Andrew, James, or Leo ever again. That's just how it works for me, I guess.