I feel like a clam.

I don't know what it is about me, but just the presence of some people make me clam up and not want to interact with them. Not in the bad way that some people would immediately think, but more in a fearful way. The kind of fear where you just can't help but be afraid even if you know the fear and what-have-you's are all dead and gone. I hope I'm not the only one that is like that.

In any event, because I've offended Christina, my last friend whome I did not offend up until last week, being around her, Jaime, and Ken has been trying on my emotions. It is as if I feel I am unworthy of being a part of their circle of friends, let alone worthy enough to talk to them.

It's werid. For the first time in a long time, I actually seriously thought it would be better for me if I was alone, socially. No friends, no associates, no real connections of any kind to any social circles. An asocial living similar to that of a hermit or a hospital patient who is cut off from the outside world due to some illness that needs immediate caring, like cancer or the like.

Maybe I am one of those people that are better off alone. Maybe I am suppose to be one of those people that will go down in the history books with a folklore about them like van Gogh. Maybe I'm being stupid.

Yeah, that's probably it. I'm just being stupid.

BTW, I'm on the schools iMac, which is a Gumdrop that is somehow running OSX. I can't spell check this entry, so pardon any that you may come across.