In Interview, Bush Belittles Gay Parents

From PlanetOut:

President Bush angered advocates for LGBT equal rights by suggesting in a Thursday interview with the New York Times that "studies" show children develop better when raised by heterosexual married couples.

The remarks were part of the president's response to a question about the Florida law that bars gay men and lesbians from adopting children. The law -- one of the harshest anti-gay laws in the country -- was recently upheld by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit, and this month the Supreme Court refused to hear the challenge on appeal.

Regarding the Florida law, the president responded, "I don't know this particular case."

There's a lot of things you don't know about, Dub-e-yah.

Ian

Last night, I talked to Ian on a level that I never had before. I felt we made a definite connection.

Apparently, we are both artists in one fashion or another. He knows that artists can get really sensitive at times of stress and frustration, as was my case last night. He kept telling me to hold my head high. He did his best to cheer me up, giving me compliments like how trendy my last name is and how he can see it being the name of a really high-class gallery someday.

Most of all, he babied me.

Everyone I ever talked to whenever I was in an emotional panic as I was last night never did that. Leo would leave me because he doesn't want to deal with the drama. David would just get frustrated and eventually do the same thing. Just not as quick as Leo would. Bill would just tell me to get my shit together and shut the fuck up. Sam would probably follow suit. I could only guess what the rest of them would do.

Since I woke up this morning, I've had two things on my mind. The first of which was getting those damn rolls done before Monday and bringing in all four rolls to see what the hell I should do with them. The second was how nice and sweet Ian was to me.

I should make a mental note to ask for him the next time I'm in that state of mind.

Why Electronic-Loading Cameras Are Better

I had a feeling while I was doing my Black & White Photo class that I was doing something wrong. I was right.

After going through what I thought was two rolls of film, I was bothered by the fact that rewinding my film took shorter than normal. The film also felt like it was fighting me when it was trying to advance. I didn't think much of this at first with the first roll. In fact, I just threw it out as being odd. The second roll had the same problems.

That's when I went and opened up a third roll. I turned off anything that made any distracting sound and proceeded to load the camera as best I could. That way, I could hear the click the leader makes when it pops out of the other reel when you rewind it.

Then I found the problem. I didn't load the camera. There is a high chance that those two "rolls" I took were really just one really over-exposed frame.

This is putting my manties in a bunch. I now have to go through two more rolls, properly loaded this time, and get all my shots in by Monday. Time to take pictures of traffic again causing people to slow down thinking I'm an undercover cop taking speed readings with a camera-shaped radar gun.

What is it about her?!

Outings with my mother always leave me in a bitter mood when they end. Okay, maybe always was too strong of a word, but most of the time this is the case.

The last hour, all I needed was to get two things. She was my driver for the day. She complicated things.

She wanted to do me a favor and bring me to Centennial Park to take pictures for my Black & White class. I told her that wasn't needed because of the assignment. I am suppose to take pictures of things in motion and objects that I've abstracted because of how I positioned them in the frame. She didn't get it.

What she did get was that I wasn't enjoying her company. When we got to the first fabric store (which was closed), she could tell that I was growing more and more angry the longer she talked to me about things that I didn't care about. I just wanted to get my supplies and go home to do the other works I have had assigned to me. After that point, we pretty much grew silent and did what I wanted to originally do.

So here I am, listening to Puffy AmiYumi on Yahoo! LAUNCHCast because I'm too cheap to buy the CD trying to relax and wondering why this kind of shit rarely happens with my dad.

When my dad and I go places because I need this and that, it's normally just that. We go from point A to point B and not complicate things by looking at other things and doing the other favors. It's a rather nice arrangement, really. I just wish my mother was like that with me sometimes.

Movie Trivia # 013: The Leaky Space Suit

Dave Bowen's space suit isn't very airtight in a shot of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). When he reenters the Discovery spaceship with its atmosphere evacuated, he opens an access hatch to HAL 9000 logic center and climbs over the camera into the chamber wearing his E.V.A. airtight space suit. As his left hand moves past, the glove separates from the sleeve, showing his bare wrist.

And hey, you want to have a little fun? Think about the name of the computer: HAL. Then think about the letter that follows each in the alphabet. Arthur Clarke said it' was just a coincidence.

The letters spell out IBM, for those of you that hate puzzles.

Students revolt over a popular professor's firing. Will Nashville's art scene pay the price?

From Nashville Scene:

At 10:30, about 15 twenty-somethings calmly occupied the room where David Hinton was scheduled to teach his "Art, Politics and Society" class. The goal wasn't to force racial integration or end the war but to get some answers from Hinton, dean of Watkins College of Art and Design, about why one of their favorite professors won't be coming back next year.

Watkins students and professors learned of Glispin's involuntary departure as word spread around the 300-student college. The fired professor wasn't talking to many people about it, and when students inquired in January, Hinton said that reports of Glispin's termination were only rumors. In private, though, the dean had already signed an initial contract with Glispin's replacement.

But Terry Glispin's termination is about much more than messy personnel issues at a local college, because it's set against the backdrop of a controversial work of video art that garnered Watkins unwanted national attention last October. ... Whatever ultimately happens to Watkins' fine arts program will undoubtedly reverberate throughout the city's art community. News of Glispin's impending departure already has.

Students worry aloud about Watkins' leadership under Brooks if he continues to give Hinton free reign over the school's academic program. They say that Brooks' familiarity with curriculum and instruction is limited to what Hinton tells him. While the president may be good-natured and respectful of his surrogate's authority, several students say he seems passive and unwilling or unable to supervise Hinton appropriately. "I told Dean Hinton there would be hell to pay for this decision [to fire Glispin]," students recall Brooks saying during a Friday morning meeting. Though he seems to care about students' concerns, Brooks has done nothing so far to ameliorate them.

The professors who spoke to the Scene say Glispin's firing sends a chilling signal to other teachers. Since there's no tenure system at the school, there's no protection from arbitrary termination. "If Hinton decides that he doesn't like the direction of your work, you're gone," says one professor.

This is the set up as to what is going on in our school right now. A very important man in the school's staff is about to be fired. The dean has come revealed himself as a liar and a dick to all those he doesn't find suitable to teach by his academic standards. Furthermore, several students, including myself, do not feel this is in the best interest of the school to get rid of such a great teacher and person. I could say how great Terry is, but I can't. I am just now having his class, and from the first few weeks I've had with him so far, I like him. He is helping me produce what I want to produce in art. He is bringing back the fun into creating that I lost because other teachers were so hell-bent on getting me to draw with the skill of the European masters!

"It's great that you can draw, but what the hell are you drawing, and why?" says Iwonka Waskowski, a five-year Watkins student, of the department's apparent guiding philosophy.

I cannot help but agree with this statement. There are several sketches in my older books that are nothing but doodles. Very detailed doodles, but still doodles. Nothing behind them as far as meaning. Just really nicely drawn characters that could be in a cartoon of some sort. Scattered throughout the books, however, are various drawings I've done during fits of depression. I used this as an escape and to tell someone that wouldn't listen about how bad I really felt when words couldn't. I was drawing for content and not for skill, and those drawings are the best ones I've ever done so far in my life.

The article, at this point, goes on to explain several things such as how some students feel about a new censorship policy. In fact, Jason is worried that his graduating show, a solo gallery promised by the Fine Arts department, would be cancelled because of how much it is loaded with homosexual content. Not the bad kind, mind you, but the taste of this city pretty much spells out what is going to happen if nothing else gets done to prevent this. And the kicker for me is that I want to see his show simply because I am a fan of what I have seen him produce on large scale canvas. Yes, that crush is still there, but I won't get into that... at least in this post.

The article, however, lost me when it mentioned things about how the school really isn't in financial troubles of any kind. This made me feel like they were alienating us and saying this issue wasn't important. We are getting new dorms, there's a new sign that will be put up outside to replace the theatre marquee of the building, etc. While brief, it did feel like they were saying that the firing of Terry wasn't important. Money is the more important thing for the school, not the education of their students or teaching them to become great gallery artists, great graphic designers, great interior designers, great film makers, or great photographers.

And that's the sad thing. Since I came to Watkins, I've noticed that this school id different in so many levels. The most notable one that I enjoy is that I can call all my teachers by their first name. I was talking to another student that said this doesn't happen in other schools. He transferred here because of how much the teachers cared about their student's growth. In fact, some care so much it borders on insane! How so? There are some teachers in the staff that will stay on extra hours to help you even thought they do not get any more money than they already do. Terry, for example, was called by another student I was talking to who was doing a project that didn't work at around 22:30! And he actually picked up the phone that late at night and helped him through the project! Tell me what professor does that?

The article mentions the controversy from last October, but only as a reference point. It makes it clear that this event was caused from our first, and hopefully not last, controversy in the field of art. What it doesn't mention is that this has all happened before.

The World Civilization when I joined was the best teacher for that class you could get. I was told to sign up for his class whenever I was going to take it. However, he had a falling out of sorts with the dean and didn't come back. Kevin, my World Myth and now Philosophy teacher, is in that same boat. He doesn't like the dean and how he uses the power of his position. In fact, he nearly quit after last semester because he couldn't stand the guy! Kevin is an interesting teacher that is willing to get on subject tangents that are totally irrelevant to the class sometimes. He made the stories of other religions interesting to me! He's making the idea that I really don't have a head from a philosophical view interesting to me! You don't get rid of teachers that actually get you excited about their class before it starts like Kevin or Terry. Why get rid of a bad thing?

The President of the school, I have to say, I feel bad for. Back when The Tennessean was covering our stories before they turned on us and made the conservatives in the city hate us for about a week, President Brooks came off to me as a politician of sorts. He kept giving out answers that felt like they could be coming out of Senator Frist's mouth. This time around, I don't feel that way. In fact, I pity him.

Here is a guy that is suppose to be the person in charge of the school. (Yes, there is someone more powerful than the dean in the school. Remember that everyone has a boss in the world.) And he is not doing his job. He is not putting the dean in check by saying that he is out of line for firing someone who is a good teacher simply because he doesn't like them as a person. That's not the kind of thing you do when you are in that powerful of a position. Imagine what the world would be like if our country's President bombed everyone he didn't like. Oh wait...

I'll close this news update with this last quote from the article.

"They really had a chance to step up and make national positive attention for themselves," says Erin Hewgley, who works in the school's fine arts department. "They could say, 'Look, this is a school that stands up for its students' freedom of expression.' Who wants to go to a school that refuses to stand up for its students and censors their work?"

And who will want to teach there either? Two professors separately described a spirit of common endeavor that existed at Watkins for the past few years, one that motivated them to work long hours for little pay. "We all felt like we were part of building something that was important, something that would have an impact," one says. "We thought that we were building something good," says the other, in fearful symmetry. "We don't have that team feeling anymore."

This is pretty much being echoed throughout the school for the past few days. I'm seeing less and less of the teachers in the halls talking to students the more this thing between Terry and the dean drags on. And if Terry leaves, several students will be leaving the school as well. Myself included.

Key Cancer Gene Discovered

From Forbes.com:

Cancer is caused by the activity of rogue genes that act like street toughs within cells, forcing them to multiply out of control. Now, scientists say they've identified a kind of "kingpin" gene that rules this gang of delinquent DNA.

"It's the 'leader of the pack,' and in that sense, it's a very effective target for therapy," said senior study author Dr. Pier Paolo Pandolfi, a pathologist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City.

Drugs to shut down the newly identified gene, which the researchers named POKEMON (for POK Erythroid Myeloid Ontogenic factor), could treat a wide spectrum of cancers, Pandolfi added, because other cancer-causing genes appear to lose their power when this key gene is switched off.

The findings are published in the Jan. 20 issue of Nature.

Strange... but awesome! I wonder if the drug will come in Pikachu-shape chewibles for children.

That Little Black Room at the End of the Hall

A minor update on what's going on at school.

From what I gathered, there was a sit in on the Dean's class (Art, Politics, and Society) in which several students work home-made shirts that said different things from "Save Terry" to "The New Watkins" (written above a Nazi symbol). One student had her mouth duct taped shut the whole day!

The little black room at the end of the hall that once was the place for the video that started this whole ordeal has now become yet another centerpiece to this event. Instead of chalk graffiti expressing one's view on the matter and a crap load of pinned notes on the wall, the black room has been turned into a walk-in scrap book of sorts. Print outs of Terry's works are displayed, as well as e-mails from various students and articles from the local papers telling their readers how great a teacher Terry is. Each piece of paper is taped to the wall. The manner of how they are taped reminds me of how some younger children, mostly girls, would tape things into construction paper books as a keep-sake or memory journal. In fact, from a distance, that's what the room looks like.

A poster has been added after the Bake Sale showing how much money they made and how much money they need (to hire a lawyer maybe?). It's sitting on the floor, which causes one to see it as something other than a big thermometer. Take a wild guess as to what.

No new information in my mail box about anything big, however. This is just what I've been able to piece together given what I've heard and seen today. Chances are I'm totally wrong.

FINALLY!

Leonardo DiCaprio finally gets a Best Actor nomination in this years Oscars way too late and much over due in my opinion. However, he is up against Johnny Depp who is in the same boat as Leonardo last I heard.

Personally, they are both great actors, but I want the Oscar to go to Leonardo. He's been denied one ever since What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (opposite Johnny Depp, ironically).

Fallen U.S. Porn King Goldstein Rebuilds with Bagels

From Yahoo! News:

He spent a lifetime peddling smut and once had an $11 million fortune, but after losing everything and becoming just another homeless New Yorker, Al Goldstein is now happy pushing bagels instead of porn.

Goldstein, a founding father of America's porn industry, now hustles bagels and white fish at a New York-based deli and catering establishment.

"I've always loved food more than sex, so this is really my first love," said Goldstein, 69, now a cold-calling salesman for New York City Bagels. "I've gone from broads to bagels."

Goldstein has good reason to feel good about his new career, however mundane, after becoming homeless last year when the porn empire he began building in 1968 collapsed.

The former owner of Milky Way Productions, home of Screw magazine and the now defunct X-rated cult show "Midnight Blue," went bankrupt over a year ago after amassing an $11 million fortune. Screw once sold over 140,000 copies weekly and was a cash cow thanks to ads for call girls and prostitutes before it fell victim to Internet porn and sagging circulation.

"The Internet made pornography available for free and I couldn't compete," said Goldstein...

I guess those music artists that were suing Napster a while back were actually right. Pornography is readily available for free on the internet for the most part. Now, if it is any good is another thing entirely.

Protesting and Bake Sale

The first images I saw when I walked into the school today were of several students. They were protesting during Bush's big day the other day or so. Yes, they were identified and plastered in various parts of the campus hallway to show how cool they were.

In all honesty, getting your picture in the paper is really a cool thing. You're immortalized. You become part of written history and are forever remembered for whatever you do, good or bad (and in most cases, really bad). Sure, you could be cutting back on the whole "Fifteen Minutes of Fame" thing, but who wants to be famous when you can become immortal?

On the way out of my sculpture class, Erin, the shop tech, and some other students had set up a Bake Sale table. The petition I signed last week is the main center piece of the table (which reminds me, I should have blogged about the last few days more than I really did. A lot things happened, like my first dark room experience and finding out my philosophy book was cancelled). They had a wide assortment of goodies for no more than $3! Makes me wish I had money right now. I have no idea what the money will be going towards, but I do know why there is one going on. Terry and the whole controversy about him not coming back to the school after this semester. (It's kind of obvious when you have a big student chalk board with the words "SAVE TERRY" written on it.)

I'm told that I'll be receiving more information on the ordeal as time goes on. For those of you that read this and are actually interested in what happens (outside of the ones that read this and actually go to my school, that is), make sure you stay tuned.

I Feel the Need to Complain

I was planning on going box hunting later in the day. I was planning on enjoying a darker and action oriented Pokemon movie while trying to complete my Figure Study homework during the commercial breaks.

Plans do not go as they were planned with me.

Because of the driving conditions of the day, I wouldn't be able to get my box unless if left after watching only the first 30 minutes of the movie. On the way, we found out about the box crushing policy that every retail store has. Our last hope was the storage and moving places.

Eventually, we found out that no one has any use for the size of box I need, and that the best I could do is either a wardrobe box or two TV boxes. I opted for the two TV boxes.

By the time I got back, I had missed an hour of the movie. More than what I wanted to miss. I turned it on just to see where they were. Apparently, they were at the climax of the film, but without the build up to the point, I felt indifferent to the story.

It was only an hour, but I've already had enough happen within that time frame to make me feel like I'm going to have a bad day.

Why am I such a push over? Why do I sacrifice my personal enjoyment for education and the fact that I'm overly dependent on other people? Why do I do these things?

I'll never know.

Just My Luck

I went looking for a box for my first sculpture project. Turns out that every place I went to has a policy in that they crush all the boxes their display products come in. Best Buy, Sam's Club, pretty much any place that sells TVs and other large appliances.

Tomorrow, I'm going to see how much U-Haul and Home Depot sell their boxes.

Incidentally, Sam's Club is carrying Playstation2s again. This proves to me one thing. My luck sucks.

Right Wing Warns of Gay SpongeBob

From PlanetOut:

The jovial cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants continues to soak up real-life criticism from Christian conservatives who believe he is gay and a harmful influence on children.

The latest incident involves a "pro-homosexual video," featuring SpongeBob and other popular children's TV characters, that, according to Focus on the Family founder James C. Dobson, will be mailed to U.S. elementary schools.

The producer of the children's video, Nile Rodgers and his We Are Family Foundation (WAFF), said the video promotes the togetherness implied by the word "family." Though WAFF supports a policy of nondiscrimination that includes sexual orientation, the video does not address sexuality, Rodgers said.

According to the WAFF Web site, characters in the video sing a version of the song "We Are Family," which Rodgers wrote. The song was also a disco hit for Sister Sledge in 1979 and has since become a Gay Pride anthem.

That is where, I think, things got sour and messed up. In the choice of what song to have the characters sing at the end of the video. That song, while in the context of the video is fine, has been associated with Gay Pride, like the article stated.

However, to simply say that Spongebob is gay simply because of some of his actions echoes that of the TeleTubby Tinkie-Winkie being purple and having a triangle on his head thing several years ago. In other words, people are looking way too much into something that was simply made for entertainment.

Besides, I don't see anyone getting upset over Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny kissing scenes. Or when Chip and Dale hug each other and dance around. Or when Snagglepuss says "Heavens to Betsy!" all lispy. Heck, I saw a cartoon where Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse dressed in drag!

Bottom line is Spongebob is aimed at kids as family entertainment. Something that they can laugh with their parents over. Just because he appears in a video promoting family togetherness and sings "We Are Family" doesn't make him or any other character gay. If anything, it just shows how popular he has become as a cartoon character.

Movie Trivia # 012: God Help the Script Girl

The Beatles wear different clothing from one shot to another in the opening dash-onto-the-train sequence of A Hard Day's Night (1964). The "why" of the moment has been preserved for posterity by continuity supervisor Rita Davison. Her notes for the shot, as quoted by Peter Van Gelder in That's Hollywood, say: "First shot taken while I was in the ladies' toilet. I think they were the Beatles, but they were wearing the clothing which they came in with, and not what was suppose to be worn. It was photographed by the director. I trust this is not the way we intend to go on. God help me."

Freedom of Expression and Exhibition Policy

I got a notice in my mailbox about a student meeting going on tomorrow at 16:30 in the theatre. I'll end up missing part of it because of the fact I'll be in the dark room.

The meeting is to discuss a new censorship policy and try to renew Terry's contract. Hopefully, unlike the last meeting last semester, something will get done. Looking back on that last meeting, all I ever saw was people expressing their opinions instead of actually doing something, but then again, I did come in late.

I also was given a copy of the current policy. I didn't understand most of it, seeing how it sounded like it was written by a lawyer. There was only line that struck me as odd, however.

"In all cases, inclusion does not constitute an endorsement of the work by the College nor does exclusion constitute an act of censorship."

I know I read this wrong, but this line seems to cancel out pretty much the entire policy. Because a piece is not including doesn't mean that it is censored, but it also doesn't mean that it is not endorsed. Does that mean excluded pieces are endorsed by the college? I doubt that. But on the other side of the coin is the part about how works that are displayed are not endorsed by the college. Does this mean that pieces that are not endorsed are subject to censorship? If that is the case, then why show a piece that the college did not endorse or support to begin with? Why show a piece that has no backing from the school? If you are not going to support the piece, why show it at all? I mean, that is what it means to have an endorsement, right? To be sponsored and supported by someone outside of yourself. That's why you see athletes doing commercials for cars and foot wear.

Before I make an ass of myself again, I'd just like to say that I'm not surprised that this is still going on. I'm just disappointed in the fact that we as an art school have come to this point when here I am drawing a nude female every other day of the week.

If worst comes to worst and no one can agree on anything, Watkins could always go back to being a film school. I mean, hell, they take up a quarter of the building anyway, as well as 70% of all new students last I checked.

US Laboratory Proposed Weapon to Stimulate Homosexual Behavior

From Yahoo! News:

A US Air Force research laboratory proposed in the mid-1990s creating a chemical agent that would stimulate homosexual behavior among enemy troops, but the idea was quickly shot down by the Pentagon, a defense official said.

The paper titled "Harassing, Annoying, and 'Bad Guy' Identifying Chemicals" suggested developing "chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected."

"One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior," the proposal pointed out.

The laboratory also suggested spraying enemy positions with chemicals that would attract biting bugs, bees, rodents and larger animals.

Wait a second. The US Air Force was either going to make the enemy gay and attracted to each other, thereby canceling out all combat that would have happen or... spray them with something that would cause animals to seek them out and bite them?! That was the alternative? Making them into squirrel chow?

I really wish I could have made this shit up, but I can't. This kind of thing is too ridiculous to be true, but it is.

Lessons Learned From Dreams

I had a dream that I was visiting David Gallagher on the set. It was in between takes and I complimented him on how good he was in the scene. He said to me that he doesn't think so, and that he sucks as an actor.

I then told him something that has been ringing in my head since I woke up this morning. I told him:

"The best critiques come from the people that don't have a clue how you do it. I am not an actor. I don't know how to sell a character and make it believable. You do. And if I say that you've done a good job in selling Simon, in making Simon believable to me, then you are a good actor."

I then went on to say different things like how Matthew Lawrence and Matt Damon can sell characters as well and how Hayden Christensen couldn't sell a believable Anikan Skywalker even if that is the only role I have seen him in.

The break between takes ended and David Gallagher went back to being Simon Camden. He was on his marker, and before the director could yell "Speed!", he turned to me and smiled.

Like I said, what I said to him in my dream has been ringing in my ears since I woke up.

The best critiques anyone can give anyone else come from the people that have no clue how to do the things a person does in the field of art, be it acting or artistic works worthy of gallery space. When you can connect to the common denominator in that kind of way, you know what it is you are good at. They don't have to necessarily get it. They just have to show that you were able to get to the bare bottom line as to what it is you are doing, what makes that role important to the overall context of the work. If your intent was to make a person smile and they smile, you succeeded in your intent. If your job is to make a fictional character as real as possible and you make people believe even for a second that you are the person you are portraying, then you have succeeded in your intent.

Just because someone says that you suck at doing your job and they don't know jack shit about how to get to where you are right now doesn't mean they are wrong. If anything, it means that they could be right.

Tape Shows JFK Fumed Over Rights Pressures

From Yahoo! News:

On the afternoon of May 4, 1963, President Kennedy wasn't in a mood to mince words.

As he met in the White House with members of a liberal political group, he fumed when one of them mentioned the Associated Press photo splashed above the fold of that day's New York Times. The now-iconic photograph showed a police dog attacking a black teenager in Birmingham, Ala.

"There's no federal law we could pass to do anything about that picture in today's Times. Well, there isn't," Kennedy snapped. "I mean, what law can you pass to do anything about police power in the community of Birmingham? There is nothing we can do."

"This is the only meeting that I know of where you have much more of a give-and-take, and I think he's being terribly honest about what he would like to accomplish, but the reality is he can't do it at the pace that everyone would like," Porter said.

The tape of his meeting with 20 members of Americans for Democratic Action was released by the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum in Boston to coincide with Martin Luther King Day on Monday.

Apologies for butchering AP reporter Theo Emery's article with the copy and paste option.

What got my attention was the line about The President knowing what he would like to accomplish, but knowing he couldn't do it at the pace everyone would like him to do these things. I can't help but relate, albeit it is a stretch.

People want me to do things that I know I am not ready to do for whatever reasons. They are pressuring me to do this or that at a pace and speed they feel is needed. Unfortunately, I'm no JFK. I'm not a man of action.

I don't know, maybe I'm searching for something that really isn't there, but that line did trigger something with me.

Wandering Rant

Have you ever had the feeling one day that all you did resulted in disaster no matter what? How about questioning what you are doing and where you are going? Is it all worth the trouble in the end?

Some people would say that it is. Behind every storm is a sunny day filled with a beauty unrivalled. Hell, in fact most people think that. Some can't see that far and believe that there is no hope at all, and the rain will continue to pour.

I have no idea where I'm going with this post. I don't want to do what needs to be done, and I'm starting to think being an artist isn't the way I need to go. The creative process for me is very hard to do sometimes, especially when I'm not happy. Unless something comes around that inspires me, like when I found out what the pentagram really meant back in King Arther's day, coming up with something original will only come once in a blue moon. Even when forced to create something like for my first project in sculpture, I don't think anything I come up with would be enough. I want to push, but I know my limits. I have visions of what I want my pieces to look like, but no amount of money that I have can make that possible. Loans and debts scare me now more than ever. On top of that, I have nothing to fall back on.

I'm not prepared for life. I've admitted that several times. When I'm forced out on my own for reasons beyond my control, I know I'll have the hardest time of my life just trying to make it. I know this so well that images of my fear have made their way into my dreams.

I dreamed that I was in a run-down apartment building with a job I was over-qualified to have by educational reasons alone. The social anxiety alone, however, made me settle for the bottom of the barrel. I'm behind on my rent, but the land lord pities me. I still don't get an extension on my rent, however. I work my ass off for a paycheck that is disproportionate to the amount of work that I do. That check goes to the student loans I still have to pay off. I have no phone, because I don't want to pay that bill. I have no cable, because I don't want to pay that bill. I don't use electricity as much as I do now, because I don't want to pay that much. I only use water when I have to limiting my showers to only once a week just to make the bill cheaper. The phone calls don't stop. I'm behind on my bills. I have nothing in the bank. I'm lucky that I have a roof over my head, even though I can hear arguments from drunken couples all over. I sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag. All of the technology I once had and depended on for some kind of social existence pawned off just to be able to put a deposit. I end up homeless, and by this time Bill is elected President. He has a loving family, and a beautiful one at that. Everyone admires him. They see him as a beckon of hope. They are behind him all the way because he is hope embodied.

Another dream I had was a critique. The first one where everyone says that my work is not art. The only one that is trying to defend the piece is the teacher. He's slowly losing ground as the class starts to win him over. I can't say anything in my defense. I try, but the more I talk, the dumber I sound. In the end, I get a failing grade.

In reality, I look around and I see things as grey objects. The light bounces off of them and creates a shape and color. Snow is no longer special to me, and neither is this chair I'm sitting in. I eat because I'm hungry, and I'm fat because I'm hungry, and this upsets my mother who believes I should lose weight. A parent, whom in my head I know loves me, making me more insecure than I already am? I'm in a class with people I've learned to respect because of their skill and craft. I hold them at a higher esteem than my own. I'm already insecure in the one thing that helped me survive high school, and now I'm given an image complex thanks to popular media brainwashing a person I have no other option but to live with due to several factors, all of which are of my own.

I complain. Everyone does. Do I do anything about it? No. No one likes people that just rant. They like people of action. They look up to them and want to be like them. No one likes someone that bitches and complains and, in the end, has no real power.

So what is to happen to the weak? The ones that just complain?

Natural selection says that the weak pretty much just die and become fodder for the next strong generation. We screwed that up with religion saying you should love everyone, weak and poor. After all, they will be the one that will inherit the Earth once everyone else dies. It's God's Will, if you want to look at it in one point of view. Others believe that you'll just continue to get reincarnated until you do everything you are suppose to do as willed by the higher power.

In reality, the weak and the poor are put into soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and spare rooms at the YMCA like some kind of cattle. The only difference is they aren't slaughtered for meat so that the strong can survive. No, they are cared for and cleaned up and are even helped in an attempt to give them a better life. Some, unfortunately, fall into the stereotypical ideal of the homeless and spend money on booze because it helps them feel better about their situation until the hangover in the morning caused by the harsh slap from the hand that is reality.

Like I said, I have no idea where I'm going with this post. I'm just getting out things that I cannot talk about to people for one reason or another, mostly because they interrupt me before I can finish a thought causing me to forget. That is the only purpose of this entry, and pretty much this blog. To give me some kind of hope that someone somewhere is reading this and actually cares about me.

Right now, only one person comes to mind that I can honestly say reads this and cares about me even a little. He may call me a milkly licking, shit dick, whinny ass, son of a bitch, homo-fucker, but I know deep down he cares.

Unless I'm blind to the fact that him calling me all this means he really doesn't and I'm a stupid naive little bastard that feels love coming from a place of hate, but I doubt that is the case.

No Night Shots

As the sun went down, David signed on. We talked, but it wasn't one of the better conversations we've had.

When I noticed it was dark out, I decided to sign off and take a few pictures in the dark. Bad move.

I couldn't see my meter inside my camera. Apparently it is so old that this model doesn't have anything that glows or light up inside. This makes my meter impossible to see. I had to guess and experiment as to shutter speed and f-stop settings. All I know is that it was the smaller numbers in order to get the most light on the film given the conditions. I know I probably over-exposed one frame.

I was only able to take three shots because of how cold it was outside. That and the fact that I was having my shutter open for a whole second at least. I was starting to shiver, so I know the pictures will have a lot of shaking motions.

I came inside to warm up and as I was about to get a bowl of my dad's chili, my sister called my cell phone. I brought it with me thinking I'd be out all night looking for dramatic lighting, but there isn't much of that where I live. It's either too bright or too dark. Makes me wish I lived in a theme park.

Anyway, my sister called saying she was going to check the EBGames at Virginia for me if there was a PS2. I told her that she didn't have to buy it for me. I mean, I already spent too much money on school, and she needs to spend that much if not more for her school needs as well. A PS2 can wait. But she insisted. She agreed to not buy it, adding that she thinks our mom won't let her buy it. Mom's been acting like a dick lately, but I deal. I mean, she claimed all the good shots I took with the camera's last roll of film before my class were all Dad's pictures!

I then left to get a bowl of chili as my sister left to see if she wanted to buy a shirt in a store that was the host to a screaming child I could hear over the phone.

Going back to the comment about me wishing I lived in a theme park. I've seen a lot of shots on MouseInfo.com featuring some of the best amateur photographing possible. There is such a variety of scenery in all of the Disney parks, it's no wonder why Kodak is one of their biggest partner sponsors. I know after this class, I'll eventually be able to take pictures just as good as the ones I've seen, but right now I wish there was a location close to where I lived just as beautiful. It's the dead of winter, and all the trees look like they would make better fire wood than photograph subjects. Too bad I don't live anywhere near Disneyland and is an Annual Pass holder.

Oh well, I guess it's back to taking pictures of the traffic tomorrow then.

Cold and Broke

They weren't kidding when they said that I would spend about $300 extra on Black & White!

My dad took me to Dury's to pick up all the things I needed by Wednesday. Naturally, I was one of the last people to get what is needed, so the employees there were familiar with what I needed and where everything was. One of the benefits to biding your time, I guess.

The total cost took all $200 I was given for Christmas as well as the $25 I had for buffer money. Thing is, I was short by about $70. My dad covered it, but that meant both of us now don't have cash in either one of our wallets. I'm not kidding you. Both of us don't even have vending machine money in our pockets.

When I reviewed my list, I learned that I don't really need the combination lock until Wednesday. It's for my locker. The books, on the other hand, I needed sooner than later. I crossed out the page protector sleeves because the negative sleeves I bought have those included for my contact sheets.

The books I need were not available. In fact, the required text I need for Philosophy is, well, unavailable in the worst way possible. I would say that it is out of print, but it isn't. I was only able to find one store that was able to order the books I needed. So, hopefully, in about 2 - 3 weeks, I'll be able to get read what I should have read already. I did find my Black & White text, however, so all was not lost.

After setting everything up, I grabbed my Neopets Pocket Notebook to log the settings of my shots. I picked a bad time to go out and take pictures. Too much light. My teacher said that it is okay to have the picture over-exposed, because we can always develop it darker. The amazing thing about film is that the data is there when you over-expose the picture but isn't when you under-expose it. I got about 15 frames in before I started to get cold.

Besides, day shots are not my thing. For some reason, I find the most interesting and dramatic lighting at night.

Thank God I have Monday off. More time to do work!

Again? No, Just Continuing.

Yesterday was my "Bum Day" from school, and while I should have spent it commenting about what I'm going to this morning, I didn't. I spent it getting out a game idea from my head before my imagination took over my dreams and I began to see and play the game.

So what big event happened yesterday that I should have blogged about but didn't? I got a letter. A rather disturbing one.

At the risk of making myself look like an ass, seeing how the last time I voiced my opinion on this matter I was slammed for being a heartless bastard, I decided to hold my opinion on the matter until I felt I could articulate my thoughts in a well-thought out manner.

This isn't going to happen here. Prepare to be offended.

The letter begins by telling the reader that the video piece that caused so much negative press towards the end of the Fall Semester finally was shown to the public after being the first piece to be banned from the school under the "no censorship" policy. The letter doesn't say where it was being shown, but I have this feeling it was at Cheekwood. The last thing that was going on outside of our little controversy was a Video Artist Gallery call for the Contemporary Art Gallery at the Cheekwood.

Word apparently got out to everyone but those of us that pushed away the world to be with family and friends, and those that were and probably still are offended by the piece called to have it yanked from the show. One of these people was Dean Hinton.

That's right. The Dean of the school. My school. The guy that is suppose to be the one that supports what we make and show in public space.

Furthermore, the Dean apparently said around December that my teacher Terry, who is also the head of the Fine Arts department, isn't coming back after this semester. Reading this and learning this sucks, because I just now got to like Terry as a person instead of as a teacher and head of my major. The letter says that it is Terry who is responsible for several students early success in the field of art, pushing them to produce and put out their own galleries. No school in our area has done that with their Fine Arts department. Not Fisk (an all African-American college). Not Belmont (primarily upper middle class). Not even Vanderbilt (ivy-league and conservative college)!

In short, because of how Terry wants us to succeed early in the field of art by pushing our pieces and ourselves to the best we have to offer, he is being chosen as the escape goat. Because a controversial student work actually was shown to the public, despite the fact the public didn't want to see it, the Dean feels that this is in the best interest of the students.

It is not!

Without teachers that do more than tell us the bare bones of the subject, you cannot promise success. Without someone like Terry backing you up when you don't think you have a piece that will even be looked at, some people will have a hard time just getting things out. For some of us, again. However, the fact that you have the support of an instructor, as well as the head of the department, does boost your esteem about the piece. This is a good thing!

This is the kind of encouragement we should be getting in schools but aren't because we are worried about hurting other's feelings. Teachers should give more than just A-'s and B's! They should tell us what we are doing right and what we are doing wrong. No, they are not our parents, but rather friends we learn from. However, they are not because they hold the title of teacher above us. This invisible rank doesn't apply to people with a masters or even a doctrine in Education! Even students can teach "teachers" things they never knew before.

The fact that this is happening, that a really good teacher is being let go of because there has to be someone to blame for a video piece featuring a beheading, isn't right. Fire the World Civilization teacher! People hated him last semester from what I gathered. I mean, doesn't a comfortable environment with minimal stress make a great place for educational growth? At least, that is what I've been told.

I could go on about how unfair this is, but there's the other side of the coin that I'm expecting to hit me after I publish this for the world to read. The idiots out there that actually believe that showing a male nude masturbating isn't art given the context and intent of the person that produced it. Jackasses that actually think that art schools should be producing still life paintings and self-portrait drawings instead of real art. Morons that think that my opinion doesn't matter because I don't meet the standards of society.

And maybe my opinion doesn't matter in the end. The fact of the matter is that I still have one. If you agree with it or not is your opinion. One that I can respect.

However, it would appear that my opinions are not respectable.

Movie Trivia #011: Sarong Collection

Loni Anderson finds herself marooned on a deserted island with Perry King and a teeny-weeny overnight case in the TV movie Stranded (1986), but the teeny-weeny case manages to provide her with not only enough shades of blush for a year's worth of intimate candlelight rendezvous but also an amazing assortment of revealing sarongs. (And she was only on a quick business trip.)

Straight to Work and to the Shop

Kevin isn't doing a print out for the World Philosophy class. In fact, he wasn't aware it was a WORLD Philosophy class! He was told that it was to be an intro class. Had he known before hand, he would have restructured the way the class is suppose to go. So now I have to pop out about $70 for another thick book.

My Figure Study teacher pulled a fast one and sent us to work straight away! No one had any supplies, but she was prepared for that. We spent the rest of the time doing blind contours and gesture drawings. After class ended, she told us what we need by next class (Thursday).

My immediate list is as follows:

• A sketchbook for Sculpture with something as far as my ideas for my first project goes
• An anatomy book for artists
• Some newsprint paper (Hey, more can't hurt me at this point.)
• Standard drawing tools (pencils, charcoal, etc.)

Everything else I can get over the weekend. In fact, that's when I plan on picking up my film and the other books I need.

Suddenly, my wallet feels lighter, and I haven't even spent anything yet.

From the New to the Familiar

Today, I have two classes with two teachers I'm rather familiar with.

My World Philosophy teacher is my World Myth teacher, who's interesting points of view on several things makes class exciting whenever he goes off on a tangent. That, and his finals were surprisingly easier than I thought. He's easy to come up to and talk to outside of class, as well.

I have Figure Study I with my old 2D teacher. I'm not looking forward to that class because of how over-critical she is about technique rather than personal style. The good news is, hopefully, I'll be able to draw nude men. I just hope they aren't the distracting kind.

Now I have only one thought on my mind right now. Why the hell am I up this early when my first class doesn't start until 11:15?!

College Makes People Poor

Well, that was unexpected. It appears that the sculpture class is also going to cost me. Maybe not as much as the photo class, but it will certainly be a problem.

With the exception of whatever the school has available, we will be responsible for our own materials. Basically, anything outside of scrap metal, wood, clay, plaster, and, from what I understand, any metal needed for the foundry needs to be bought and invested in by us.

So what needs to be bought? Simply put, whatever we need.

Terry, my teacher and head of the Fine Arts department, is rather flexible as to what is a sculpture. If I wanted to do one involving fireworks, that would count. He considers anything that exists in a space and a time, temporary or permanent, a sculpture. So, again, if the project I want to do involves glass, I better invest in glass.

The thing is, he is really going to challenge me. The first assignment is the hardest. And we are only doing three pieces this semester, each taking only a month long. Naturally, I'm looking forward to the last project because it is the most simple. In order to get to the end, you have to have a beginning.

Terry gave us several good places to wear to start looking (dreams, driving, meditation, etc.), so I guess I'll try one of those and see where it leads. Frankly, my biggest concern isn't about space or balance or texture or even scale.

It's economy.

Well, at least I know how I'm going to get rid of that comma in my savings account now.

Porn Business Driving DVD Technology

From Yahoo! News:

As goes pornography, so goes technology. The concept may seem odd, but history has proven the adult entertainment industry to be one of the key drivers of any new technology in home entertainment. Pornography customers have been some of the first to buy home video machines, DVD players and subscribe to high-speed Internet.

One of the next big issues in which pornographers could play a deciding role is the future of high-definition DVDs.

Who said porn was a bad thing?

Back to Class

I'm seeing the other side of a coin I got too used to seeing one face of. It's odd how something as little as an hour can change how a day ends and starts. For the past three weeks I have been staying up until 02:00 chatting away with David or playing online games or looking at porn only to wake up at 09:00 or 10:00. Yesterday, I went to bed at 22:00 and woke up at 04:00. Tonight, I'll go to bed at the same time and wake up a little later because my first class isn't until 11:15.

Today and tomorrow are nothing but preparation dates in which we will go to our classes and told what we need and don't need. Yet for some reason I don't feel prepared at all. I don't mean because I don't have many sheets of paper or a sharp pencil to write with. I mean in general.

I have a little over $200 in my wallet, all of which will go towards my photo studio class this semester. I have enough buffer money in the back to help me get whatever else I cannot afford. I don't have to worry about being on time because my mother changed her work schedule just for me (but I still wish she at least TOLD me instead of waiting until I got all worried about it on the car ride back from Virginia). Pencil and paper are not really needed today seeing how it's mostly a general rundown as to what the class is about.

So what am I so worried about? What do I feel I'm not prepared for?

The answer is the other students.

Confident Yet Sensitive

My sister came home and stormed her way upstairs while I was trying to welcome her home after going around doing whatever. Several minutes later while I was fixing a two-cheese grill cheese sandwich, she was crying and talking to my mom.

I don't like it when my sister cries. When she cries, a part of me hurts. Worst still is that she won't open up to me so I can help her feel better. She just builds walls higher and thicker than my own. The only difference is that her walls are temporary.

There is just something about her crying that always rubbed me the wrong way. She's always come off as strong, happy, and so full of confident. Her crying and looking so weak cases me to want to know what is wrong and try to make it better. There is just something about her crying that never sat well with me because of her personality. Her personality I've always admired and wish I had.

She won't tell me what is bothering her, but I hope it isn't the fact that she has to go back to Virginia for the next few months for the Spring Semester.

Condom Testing Reveals Best Brands

From AIM Today:

The nonprofit Consumers Union says in a new guide to contraception that the seven top U.S. types of condom they studied did not burst despite vigorous testing, and all models met international standards.

But results showed that the top brand, able to take the most punishment, was the Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex, according to the report.

That's right, kids. If you want the best protection out there next time your fucking, pick up a pack of Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex instead of that brand from that horse.

Movie Trivia # 010: Cathy and Heathcliffe Went Up the Hill...

Heading up the hill to meet Heathcliffe in Wuthering Heights (1939), Merle Oberon's Cathy drapers a shawl over her shoulders. She is wearing a blouse and a full-length skirt. Somewhere between the bottom of the hill and the top, she must have found a dressing room and changed clothes--or stopped off and left the clothes she was wearing at the Moor-side cleaners. When she reaches the top where her brooding lover waits, she's wearing an entirely different, tailored dress and no shawl.

Rant # 185761

I woke up yesterday with a sense that life is worth living. I woke up today with a long list of things I just needed to get done. A shower. Get the laundry started. Brush my teeth. Check my blog for new comments. Check Zero's blog to see if she updated. Check Shem's blog to see if he updated. Hotmail. Yahoo. MouseInfo. SuperDudes. Neopets. Gaia. Dentist appointment at 14:30. Look for David online and if he doesn't show up, go to sleep.

Yesterday was so bright and sunny despite the forecast of rain. Today, the sky matches my mood. Dark and gloomy.

We talked last night. We talked about things we were going to do, things that were going to help me. I was happy. I was making stupid joke and not thinking. Not thinking was my mistake. A mistake that lead towards admittance of several truths.

David doesn't feel safe with me anymore. He says I have the makings for a serial killer. Overly dependent. No compassion. A skewed vision on reality with ideals that mask the truth I know so well.

I'm a bad person.

My father called asking for a sign to be printed out by my sister for the store saying they will be closed Friday. He then said that I should do it since I am up and on the computer. I said I was busy. He said I was lazy.

I am a lazy person.

In my dream last night, I was talking to someone about a subject I felt a great passion over. When I looked down to my notes to find something and then looked back up, no one was in the room.

I have no people skills.

The list goes on like a bad marching band at a slow march.

Whatever we had planned is off. Whatever hopes I had are gone. I used David the same way I used Dan. I used Dan the same way I use my parents. I cannot support myself. I will not be able to support myself. It is just not in me. I don't think I can.

People will see me as pathetic. No one likes dependent people. They are the very image of what we shouldn't be. They are made fun of and stereotyped to be the fat guy on the couch watching TV in their underwear because they don't feel anything they do can make an impact, that they cannot change. Unless you are a baby or a member of the class of elderly so old they can't go to the bathroom, you are pathetic if you are dependent. If you cannot drive, if you do not have a job, if you cannot hold your own, you are not worth anyone's time except those looking for something that will boost their self image of themselves because they feel they did something right and holy enough to secure a spot in Heaven.

They way I see it, no one is really independent. Movie studios depend on actors and writers to make films. Writers and actors depend on the movie studios to give them acting gigs so they can get what they need. The movie studios, actors, and writers depend on movie patrons to supply them with money. The movie patrons depend on another person to hire them so they can receive money. That person depends on the corporate company to supply the job and hire the job. That company, that person, and the movie patrons depend on the shopper to buy things from their services in order for them to receive a pay check. Those shoppers depend on a job to receive money to shop and pay bills. The bill collectors depend on reliable people to pay them so they can pay the higher ups as well as themselves so they can shop. And the cycle repeats itself under different titles of investors being depended on the rich and the rich being dependent on whatever made them rich to begin with, be it a bank account that is depended on the original person that opened the account so the bank will get more customers and stay open longer or some kind of business that supplies jobs to people that end up paying them back.

The logic's there. I know it is. But does it matter? No.

Independence is a false concept. Just like how I can say things about myself that are not true in the end, saying that you are independent because you can support yourself is nothing but a lie.

But, again, it doesn't matter. Because in the end everyone else is right and this strange, twisted, lonely little boy-of-a-man typing all this shit is wrong. He will always be wrong.

I will always be wrong.

Dad's Old Camera

Last night, my dad gave me his old manual camera in preparation for my Black & White Photo class. It's a Honeywell Pentax. It's so old that they don't even make this camera anymore!

Well, I was getting the camera back into shape by taking pictures of mostly dead trees because I like the line work though the lens. I then ran out of things to shoot, so I started taking pictures of the bird. They must be camera shy, because they kept making that noise they make whenever they are saying "Back off!" After running up all the film, I then began to rewind it back into the container. Once I knew that was done, I had to open the back.

That's where my problem started.

According to the site above, there is suppose to be a locking mechanism that helps open the back to help me get my film in and out. Well, I couldn't find it. There is evidence of a hinge, but there is nothing as far as a lock as far as I can see. I called my father about it, and he thought I didn't know how to rewind the film. He told me how to do that instead of how to open the damn thing. The last thing he said when he knew what my problem finally is was that the only thing he remembered about the back opening is that it opened left to right. At least that's a start.

Now you tell me, what good is a manual camera if you can't get the film in or out of it? Yes, I know that's a rhetorical question.

The Phantom of the Opera Movie Critique

I don't normally do this. In fact, I usually leave the movie critiques up to someone like Jason who has some right to say the things that are about to be said. However, I know that if I do not say anything about this film, I will be talking about it to people who would rather not hear me talk.

There was a lot of hype around this film, particularly with those who are fans of the play. And this film does not disappoint. In fact, it does better in some area than the play could ever do.

The use of special effects are minimal but obvious. The most common is what I call "The Wizard of Oz Moment" where black & white film turns into color film depending on what era the story told is in. This effect is most prominent and most affective in the beginning sequence. If you miss the beginning, you might as well wait until the next showing. It sets up the film nicely and is a real treat for the eyes.

Story-wise, several placement liberties have been taken to explain several things. The famous dropping of the chandelier was moved to a later portion of the story to further accent the Phantom's rage and madness. Other changes include a back story of the Phantom as a child and the momentary disappearance of the Phantom until the new year Masquerade Ball. (He claims he was working on his opera, Don Juan Victorious.) For all the guys that could care less about romantic musicals, there's a bit of action added. A sword fight between the Phantom and Raoul, to be exact. Other than these liberties, the story flows nicely and is told in a very classical manner.

The sound in this film is the best I have ever experienced so far (which isn't saying much, seeing how I rarely go to the movies now). The trademark organ will punch you the moment the first notes are belted from it at the beginning. The symphony is rich sounding, making you feel like you are in the pit while the play is being performed. The best sound engineering has to go to how they presented the Phantom when he speaks. Instead of the usual "voice over here, voice over there" trick done in the stage version, every speaker in the theater plays the exact same sound track giving you the feeling that the Phantom is everywhere around you. For those of you with a home theatre system, getting the DVD of this film when it comes out will be an audio treat you can revisit again and again.

Visually, the film is beautiful! There is a richness of colors like I've never seen before. Not even in a master's painting! When the film is in color, every color in the frame creates the mood perfectly. The dark underground of the opera house never looked so beautiful. The visuals shine in the later half of the film, the highlight being during Masquerade. If only the stage version had this kind of color in their productions.

Lastly, I cannot type all of this without saying something about Emmy Rossum, the female lead that plays Christine Daae. She is the new Julie Andrews. I kid you not. Every frame she is in is beautiful. Not a flaw on her face what-so-ever. Her voice is beautiful, and you will fall in love with it the moment she takes center stage. Wow! She will be going places because of this film. Could she revive musical films the way Julie Andrews did? Quite possibly. Emmy Rossum will win a good share of awards. There is no doubt about that in my mind.

The film is still playing in selective cities, and if you happen to be in those cities, I advise you not to wait. For those of you that have to wait until later, you will not be disappointed in this film. A definite entry for Best Picture!

In the first hour of the new year...

...I made myself look like a greedy bastard, learned what a C. O. D. is, wrote an apology letter for being a greedy bastard to two people I love and respect dearly, and made a complete ass of myself thanks to my own stupidity while testing the patience unintentionally of the one person who has been a real friend to me for the better part of 2004. All on IMs, I might add.

What a way to start 2005, huh?

If this is a sign of things to come, I'm going to need a lot of help.