Talking to Myself

I can't continue living like this.

Continue living how?

With all these memories. I can't continue living knowing what I know. It hurts too much, and I'm reminded everywhere I look every time I almost forget. I mean, last night they were on CNN's PEOPLE In The News!

You don't know that. You didn't even get pass JFK's generation in the program. Hell, you didn't even get pass the 10 minute mark!

That's because it still hurts.

Well, it's like the monkey said. "The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." So which have you been doing?

I don't know.

You've been running from it. That's what you've been doing. You haven't learned a thing. You never will as long as you keep running away from your problems like this.

Who are you to tell me what I should and should not do?

I am the voice of reason. I am the one person that can tell the truth to the voice of the dreamer. As much as I don't like it, I'm the only one that can tell him what he does not want to hear. I hate telling him the truth because I know how much it will just hurt him in the end. I don't want to hurt him, but I have to be honest and show him that the world isn't as nice and fluffy as he dreams it to be. As much as I don't want to, it is my job to show him just how shitty the world really is. I am you. I am the side of yourself you don't use until you are down and out by yourself with no one to kick your ass around. But you don't listen to even me.

I'm sorry.

I don't care if you are or not. I love you still the same, but you don't know this. Why? You've set up defenses with yourself. Do you know how stupid that is? First you build a wall around us to keep everyone out that may hurt you, and now you build a wall between yourself and yourself. Has it really come to this? I don't want to hurt you, and I know I am saying these things to you, but I have to know why you have done this to yourself.

I don't know.

You just did, huh?

Yes...

It is times like these I wish I wasn't you so I could give you a hug.