A Different Path

If there was ever a time where I wish I went down a different path, now is that time. I feel as if I never will be what I should be, and now is the first time were I see it as clear as day with eyes too scared to face the truth.

My mother will be attending an important meeting of some kind on the dates around my registration day. So, on July 14, when I register for the next semester, I will not have anyone with me to sign off a check let alone the forms I need to get my student loans. Those forms are currently being held by my mother because I didn't understand what they were saying.

This means that if I cannot get a check into the Business Office's file via my mom for however much I need to pay, I will not go to school. While this is good news for our financial burden, I still feel a bit worried and scared about the whole ordeal.

Sitting here, I cannot help but feel like I've made several wrong choices that are too late to fix. Driving, I can learn at any time. If senior citizens who were traumatized due to car crashes can learn how to drive, I have until the public transportation is dead in the ground in New York City before I absolutely have to learn how to drive. However, the financial shit hole I've put myself in is an entirely different story in itself. That's why most of the kids I went to high school with worked when they were 16. They were really the smart ones, excelling in a class I failed because there was no text book covering it. They knew that once they were able to be legal working age that they would need to get a job just to get higher up in the job market. They knew that tuition prices will continue to go up. They knew that the experience and the paychecks would help them get somewhere in the world if their education didn't.

In short, they and the rest of the world knew what I refused to accept as reality. As such, they are the better breed of my generation.

As for me and my lazy ass? Who knows.