I keep making things worst when I don't mean to. Why? Why do I keep doing that? I want to come off one way, but then it comes off as something totally different. I come off as offensive when I'm not trying to be; I come off as not taking things seriously when I am; I come off as dark and in a mood when all I'm really doing is just thinking really hard. Why is it that I can't reflect the things and actions and thoughts of mine the way that I want them to be? I'm not talking about online exclusively. I know I've covered that here at least a dozen times. I've noticed that I do the same thing in person, particularly in my own family. My sister would get annoyed at me because of the way I'm trying to help her. My mom will think I'm joking when I'm trying to be serious. What is the deal with how I come off to people? Am I really that bad socially and I've yet to realize it? I can't be that bad. I mean, if I was, I wouldn't be talking to anyone! Even online!! So if I'm not socially declined to the level of a rock, then what is my problem? Why do I keep doing this? Why do I come off so backwards when I don't mean to?

I just don't get it. Sad to say, I probibly never will either. I mean, if I can't figure out what the root of the problem is to fix it, how can I fix it? It's like trying to sow a custom made suit without the mesurements of the guy that is going to wear it. You can't do it without something to go by. If you did, you wouldn't know if you were doing it right. That's partly why I don't try excersising. I don't know what I'm doing or if it will help me any. Okay, I know it will help me some, but I still don't know what I'm doing. If I do know what I'm doing like how I drink water to flush out what fat I can, then I can do it with no worry. That's how I work.

I know that how I work is probibly pathetic by most if not all standards of living. That probibly explains why I'm in the state that I am in life. If it doesn't, then I don't know what will.