Self-Confidence Level: 0

Screw it. I can't work today.

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time handling rejection like this. I take that back. I do know why.

I never really won anything before. Contests I can understand, what with the whole "Many will enter, few will win" catch. But this gallery wasn't a contest. The jury panel went to each and every individual piece, critiqued it, and then determined if it was to be in the show or not. Simply put, my pieces didn't impress them enough to warrant a gallery slot. That's what's making it that much more difficult for me. If it was a contest and all they did was pick the first twenty pieces out of a raffle, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Luck of the draw has never been in my favor to begin with. This, however, feels so different.

Ever since then, every piece of work I've popped out of my head hasn't been to my satisfaction. Right now, we are suppose to be drawing with text, and nothing seems to be going the way I want it to. The Endless Waltz piece. Radames' Letter. Even the Signs of Evil idea I had while I was being told what the pentagram really meant in World Myth. Nothing seems like a good idea, and I cannot seem to bring myself to complete anything right now!

Thankfully, the Signs of Evil idea is to be a summer project, as with my Boy Pussy drawing idea I had for the last drawing project. Unfortunately, I know that no matter how much time I put into it, those pieces will never be gallery worthy.

God, I'm such a whiney bitch!

I should be happy that there are at least four male nude pieces in the student gallery. I least I got that wish.