A Smile On My Face

This is probably going to make me late in getting my breakfast and other things that I normally do in the morning, but I don't care at this point.

Bill sent me an e-mail. In it, he explained himself to him as to what happened the night he said that he forgot about me. He had to be somewhere important and was on a strict time table. Something that I always step to the side with whatever else may prevent anyone from doing something important.

He also said that he felt he should have acted on when I said that I missed him instead of saying what he did. He felt like he may have lost an opportunity to start up an old friendship. Hence the e-mail.

I don't know what to say. His e-mail gave me a smile and a feeling I haven't had in a long time. It's nothing compared to the time I got to hug Jason, but it's definitely right up there.

Bill means a lot to me. He may be straight, but I love him like a brother. Funny thing is, like a brother, we get into our fair share of disagreements. But I still love him and care about me deeply. I only hope for the best for him. If I found out something bad happened to him, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably end up killing myself from the inside out.

However, Bill is no fool. He said in his e-mail that he wasn't sure if he should or even if I wanted to be friends again. I'm an emotional wreck most of the time, and like I've been told countless times, no one likes that. He wants to be, and I can tell. He said that old friendships are important to him, as they are to me.

I sent a reply back with a rather lengthy introduction expressing my feelings and pretty much everything else until I got to the point. I still feel like I shouldn't have wrote as much, but I feel very comfortable around Bill. I always have after I got to know him better.

Looking back at the semester, I made time for all of my projects, but I never made time for the one thing that is more important to me than my education. The few friends I had when I started. I never should have done that. I regret having pushed them aside in the name of my own educational growth.

What educational growth? Over the course of the semester, I've grown to hate drawing and frustrated with the unpredictability of sculptures. Then again, I did discover the fun of developing your own photos, so all is not lost.

In any event, Bill's e-mail was a much needed wake up call. If there is one person that can do what it is to get me out of a depression slump, it's probably Bill. I don't know what it is, but he has a way of getting inside your head and making you think without you even knowing it! It's lethal! But, in a good way when he uses it.

So, come Thursday night, when my classes are all said and done for the day, I'm going to make time for Bill. If not, well, I better be dead then. That's all I can say.