Hot Horn Dog

If I needed any kind of reminder that this is the last week of summer, it was what I saw today.

In a very rare situation, I was put on usher duty. While patrolling, I caught several teenage couples having sex in the theatre. One in Space Chimps, one in WALL-E, and the last was in The Dark Knight.

The pair in Space Chimps is only an assumption. I saw them cuddling during my first walk, as well as growing very comfortable during my second walk. If they had sex is unknown to me, but their actions on both my walks were "interrupted" when I looked over in their direction.

The pair in WALL-E I discovered as I was waiting for them to leave so I can clean the theatre. I know they were probably doing something because all during the credits they were playing tongue twister with hand movements being indicated by the way their shoulders were ungilating. When they saw that I was watching them, the young boy made the movement that implied he was putting his pants back on while trying to look like he was sitting.

The pair in The Dark Knight we ultimately kicked out. When I first saw them, they were on one side of the theatre in a dark corner. I, apparently, spooked them to the point where they moved to the other side to a not-so-dark corner. It was on my second walk where I caught them in the act. The boy with his pants around his ankles; the girl sitting on his lap. I told my manager on my way out for my break. I saw them sitting on a bench outside of the parking garage smiling and talking softly to each other. They were probably no older than 16.

This same couple left me $10 where they were sitting when I went to clean the theatre two hours after we kicked them out. And to be honest, that wasn't so much a fair compensation as it was just funny. And by that, I mean I need to get laid like I've never had sex before.