Andrew and Bill and Dan and Leo and David and James and just about everyone else I can remember having put some kind of emotional effort into keeps coming back from the farthest reaches of my mind thanks to something that I find that reminds me of them.
Case in point, this guy.
Chance, Exclusive model for Club2001
He only did one porno film for Bel Ami, and damn is it a hot one.
So why does this bother me so much? What is it about him that just makes me kick myself in the ass mentally?
Well, he looks like Bill last time I saw him. It's kind of creepy in a way, but sexy too.
Bill was always the little brother I never had, but for some reason I ended up treating him like shit. I blame whatever mental illness I have that causes my emotions to go all out-of-control. Then again, some big brothers do treat their little brothers like shit, but they still love them. I guess the later applies to me right now.
God, I miss him. If I miss anyone out of that entire group of blond twinks, I miss Bill most of all. Just thinking about him and what I did to him makes me want to die.
I hate being this way.
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