Boiling Point

"You think you can get away with things by yelling. That's so disrespectful."

My mom's words.

Controlling my anger is starting to become more and more difficult the more I become the target for other people's ignorance. I get the impression that they believe I know everything, that I can control anything, and that it is my fault for someone else's misgivings or mistakes. And in some respect, I may have presented myself as such. But not to my own family. They should know me better than anyone. They've had to put up with me for twenty-five years, for Christ's sake!

And the reason I yell? It's because nobody will listen to me!

Sometimes I wonder how our family dynamic would be if I never talked to them and just let them blame me for the things I didn't do. I'd rather get attention for the things I've done rather than the things I didn't do, but I guess that's acting too much from people who have expectations that are locked into a culture I have no clue about. After all, I didn't grow up in a post-war, third-world, developing country. I'm growing up in a technology-obsessed, media-watching, my-way-or-the-highway culture in a country that is losing its economic and political power in the world.