Work and Play

I'm not stuck. I'm not creatively dead or inept. I'm sure there are ideas brewing inside my brain trying to get out. I'm just majorly distracted. With Spore, with life, with trying to escape life by using Spore to gain a control I never had in my life. (Although, for what it's worth, I don't have much control over what's going on in Spore either. The game's AI finally figured out my play style and is starting to give me some interesting environmental effects as a result.)

I think a depression is starting to creep in, and as much as I'm trying to fight it, I simply cannot. It takes over the moment I walk into my drab studio, the moment I open my MacBook--which I love to death--in an attempt to get some work done. And it's here now that I've done almost nothing for the last two hours but formal paper work for the administration office and the class itself. Things like turning in drafts of statements and applications for degrees and the like.

The only light of hope in this madness is the fact that Spore has created a conversation avenue for my thesis, almost accidently. I've created two alien races that are both similar and completely different from how I am in real life. I'm working on a third avatar which will be a religious fanatic who will either convert the planet to their belief system or blow it up if they resist.

And then there's Halloween coming up! A time when avatars run rampant in a candy-begging frenzy, as I've said in an earlier post.

I seriously need to just focus on the research associated with these two. If I can peel myself away from exploring the galactic core and running out an evil cyborg empire in an attempt to escape my own real life insecurities and nightmares.