I'm Mad at The World

Three hours with my dog snuggling and playing did nothing but strengthen the bond between a boy and his dog. A big bowl of ice cream did nothing but empty out another box in the freezer and put some sugar in my system. Spending half an hour on my thesis drawing background ideas for my current work proved more frustrating than productive.

With my door locked, I tried in vain to come down from this overflow of anger. Doing so is like trying to prevent a volcanic eruption along The Ring of Fire. You just can't. You can stop one from blowing up, but that pressure has to go somewhere. The Law of Conservation of Mass kind of insures that.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm so angry that I have come up with a way terrorist can effectively take over our country right now. I mean, if the guy in charge of the country of Georgia was asking John McCain for aid and not the actual President still in office several months ago during that conflict they had with Russia, that right there is a good sign to attack. Think about it: This country has essentially lost faith in who is in office right now. The rest of the world now sees him as a nobody. And maybe we have the media to blame for shining the spotlight on two bright beacons of hope and optimism. Or maybe it is because nobody gives a rat's ass about who is in the chair right now knowing he won't be there for long. Now would be the perfect time to take advantage of it and just strike hard and strike big.

I've never been a violent person. The only times I've resorted to those kind of actions was when I didn't have a choice or when I was brought to a point where my rage took over my actions. All morning long, however, everything that I read or is said to me just completely pisses me off.

The reason? What reason? To give a reason is to give an excuse, and those get fired down or attacked or whatever several times a day. Just do. Just act. Just be. A reason gives purpose, but there is no purpose in that which started without any. And that's anger. It just happens. Provoked? You can say the exact same thing to a person with the same up-bringing as me in the same family dynamic, but that won't mean you'll get the same reaction.

There's no control. We think the world revolves in a perfect circle unaware we are slowing orbiting away from our sun. We praise athletic achievements while academic ones get only a three-inch article in the paper, unless the discovery is something monumental like the cure for AIDS. We want everyone to believe in a higher power but are extremely disappointed when they either don't believe in one or believe in a doctrine that we don't agree with. Conservative families giving birth to liberal offsprings. Asians dating Mexicans. Black Jews. Hell, I know a Chinese Jew! And he's very fun to be around! But I know people will look at that and go, "What the fuck? How can you be Chinese and Jewish?"

Spore has a feature where you can fire a planetary laser that causes an entire planet to explode. It also has an Easter Egg where you could find the planet Earth and our own little solar system. I'm looking forward to these two features. Some cultures are just not meant to pro-create.

I've always said this world is going to Hell in a hand basket, and I'd love to be the one to deliver it to Satan.

Then again, I've always said things I've regretted within the hour but cannot take back. The damage has been done and not even a delete key can fix it, so why bother trying if it can't be fixed? I've done that, and it only made the situation worse.

That's why every friend I've ever made I end up loosing. I can make friends, but keeping them? It's only a matter of time before I end up offending Jason and then POOF! He's gone, and I won't hear from him ever again.

It's times like these I'm glad I don't drink. God knows what alcohol would do to me in this state of mind.