Today, I am Twenty-Two. And then?

A variation on the very same question asked by Leo Tolstoy when he reached the height of what humans could achieve. A family, a successful career, and more comforts than one could imagine. What was there left for him to strive for? What then was he to do next?

Today is my birthday. And it is nothing special.

When you turn 16, you can't wait to learn how to drive. When you turn 18, you can't wait to finally be able to do all the adult things you were denied save for drinking. When you turn 21, you officially become an adult, and the world with it's many wonders and laws are both at your will and at your won't.

But when you turn 22, nothing special happens. So what do you do then?

Most people by this age are graduating college. Some start on their careers. Others are getting married or are married. Those that are lucky, that is.

So what happens next for me?

My birthday horoscope said that apparently I'll have a good year from here on out. My charm will get me to where I want to be, and some time in the summer something big will happen that will change my life.

With what little guidance I have over my own life, this seems pretty hopeful. I'm pretty sure, however, that it won't happen. Nothing really good has come my way this year, so why would something come my way in the summer? Well, whatever does come my way, I'm welcoming it with open arms. Because I know that it will be the best that life can give me now after having the best for so long. Those that know me know what I mean by that. Or maybe I should say who I mean.

In any event, the sun now sets on a day in which I'm one year older. And I can't celebrate it with sex with a person I love more than my own life. Why? Because I gave my heart and soul to someone who ultimately crushed it and never gave it back to me.