Today, I am Twenty-Two. And then?

A variation on the very same question asked by Leo Tolstoy when he reached the height of what humans could achieve. A family, a successful career, and more comforts than one could imagine. What was there left for him to strive for? What then was he to do next?

Today is my birthday. And it is nothing special.

When you turn 16, you can't wait to learn how to drive. When you turn 18, you can't wait to finally be able to do all the adult things you were denied save for drinking. When you turn 21, you officially become an adult, and the world with it's many wonders and laws are both at your will and at your won't.

But when you turn 22, nothing special happens. So what do you do then?

Most people by this age are graduating college. Some start on their careers. Others are getting married or are married. Those that are lucky, that is.

So what happens next for me?

My birthday horoscope said that apparently I'll have a good year from here on out. My charm will get me to where I want to be, and some time in the summer something big will happen that will change my life.

With what little guidance I have over my own life, this seems pretty hopeful. I'm pretty sure, however, that it won't happen. Nothing really good has come my way this year, so why would something come my way in the summer? Well, whatever does come my way, I'm welcoming it with open arms. Because I know that it will be the best that life can give me now after having the best for so long. Those that know me know what I mean by that. Or maybe I should say who I mean.

In any event, the sun now sets on a day in which I'm one year older. And I can't celebrate it with sex with a person I love more than my own life. Why? Because I gave my heart and soul to someone who ultimately crushed it and never gave it back to me.

Online gamer killed for selling virtual weapon

From shm.com.au:

A Shanghai online game player has stabbed to death a competitor who sold his cyber-sword, the China Daily said.

The incident creates a dilemma in China where no law exists for the ownership of virtual weapons.

Qiu Chengwei, 41, stabbed competitor Zhu Caoyuan repeatedly in the chest after he was told Zhu had sold his "dragon sabre", used in the popular online game Legend of Mir 3, the newspaper said a Shanghai court was told yesterday.

Legend of Mir 3 features heroes and villains, sorcerers and warriors, many of whom wield enormous swords.

Qiu and a friend jointly won their weapon last February, and lent it to Zhu who then sold it for 7,200 yuan ($A1,129), the newspaper said.

Qui went to the police to report the "theft" but was told the weapon was not real property protected by law.

"Zhu promised to hand over the cash but an angry Qui lost patience and attacked Zhu at his home, stabbing him in the left chest with great force and killing him," the court was told.

The newspaper did not specify the charge against Qiu but said he had given himself up to police and already pleaded guilty to intentional injury.

Yes, just another piece of evidence that all of humanity is lost. Seriously, killing over a cyber-weapon?!

The Last Day of my Twenty-First Year

And how do I spend it? Doing enough manual labor and physical activities to make me super-duper, can't-get-out-of-bed sore tomorrow!

The first thing I did was walk to Subway for lunch. Seeing as how my Black & White photo class was cancelled for the day and I couldn't get home due to ride complications, I decided to do something different. That and the twenty bucks I had in my wallet was screaming "SPEND ME NOW!"

The Subway in the area of Waktins is a good walk away. If I had to guess, I'd say it is about the same distance as the closest GameStop to my home. However, the walk is all uphill. The grade isn't all that high compared to how bad it could be, but it does help build up an appetite. I found myself finishing my foot long Cheese Steak in under 15 minutes after paying.

The way back was easier. After all, it was pretty much all downhill towards the school, and I had a tail wind (not like that would actually help me or anything). Thankfully, the large drink I had prevented any kind of dehydration I would have had in the noon heat.

I kind of wish I kept the drink though.

When I got back to school, I needed something to do while I waited for my ride to come. I told Terry that it was time for my box from earlier in the semester to become trash. He agreed and helped bring the box out to the dumpster. I then proceeded to take a long-handle sledgehammer to it. I can honestly say that I know now how it feels to be a chain gang member breaking rocks in the hot summer sun. I kind of enjoyed it, actually. I found myself humming a slave song while I was bashing plaster rocks into something that would fit in the dumpster. A little bit disturbing, but given the context of the situation nothing to read too much into.

But, GOD, is it hot outside! It is nice weather, no argument there. But there was no cloud cover at all! I found myself getting tired and thirsty within the first hour of the job. Thankfully, I was able to make it through without passing out or causing my calf muscles to cramp up like they always do whenever I play too much DDR. That is, when I have time to play DDR.

As a side note, I would like to say that my box took me about six weeks to complete and about two and a half hours to destroy.

I know I'm going to be feeling this in the morning. Right now, I'm just glad to be sitting down in an air-conditioned room. However, I know that once I go to bed after doing what homework I need to do tonight, I probably will have a hard time getting up in the morning. Thank God my first class isn't until 11:15, so that gives me a little bit of time.

Destroying stuff is fun, especially when it is your own creation and you don't care too much about it.

She changed on me!

Someone left a few comments saying that it was "me" under the name Leggy Pee. Upon looking up her profile, I found out who it was!

And her blog has this really nice daily zeitgeist thing I may join up to better share my Black & White Photos. For now, I'm sticking with PhotoBucket, as I have yet to kill my monthly bandwidth allowance.

Why?

I see people all around me with some kind of love in their life. A person, a passion, a light of joy that makes me turn away. I turn away because I know that I'll just keep staring at them in a very odd and offensive way. I'll just be very intrusive if I do.

A lot of thoughts are flying through my head. All of them in the form of a question that I know has no answer. At least no answer that I can come up with.

Why is it that I have dreams that feel so real? Why are those dreams always involving death, either my own or someone else's? Why do all the sex dreams feature things and events I wish could happen but I know realistically they never will?

Why do I am so tired with reality? Why, even now, do I feel like falling asleep in the dark room instead of doing my work? Why do I feel like I cannot do several important things by myself? Why do I feel like I know I lack a responsibility level others say I already have and display rather well? Why can't I see my own potential when others clearly can?

Why do I constantly day dream? Why do all my day dreams involve events that I fear will actually happen? Why do I imagine myself in a rut instead of a happy place the majority of the time? Why is it so hard for me to just imagine my ideal guy now when it was so easy before?

Why do I ask these questions?

I don't know.

Easter Oddities

Several subjects pertaining to this holiday season are on my mind right now.

First one that I shall address is what I gave up for Lent. For those of you that haven't been keeping track, I gave up pornographic material viewing with the intent of pleasure. In other words, seeking out and getting off to porn. Accidental exposure to such material was the exception, as I was not seeking out whatever I accidentally viewed.

Well, as far as that went, I'm surprised that I was able to complete this sacrifice. Yes, there were times when the vice took over, but I made it. I even thought I failed at one point, but after talking to several people on Gaia, it turned out most people consider pictures pornographic if they actually have nudity in it. Thankfully, the pictures I viewed were clothed.

However, looking back on it and where I am now, I don't think this helped me out any. I still remember several links to several preview sites. They may not be exactly the same URL as I remembered 40 days ago, but that's nothing a few minutes on Google can't fix. On top of that, I still have a want to view porn. From what I'm told, that kind of thing wouldn't happen after the whole 40 days of no vice. Then again, I bet there's someone out there scarfing down chocolate Easter bunnies right now after giving up sweets for Lent.

Oh well, I'm a porn addict.

Second on the list are several things I noticed when I went to Mass today. Now, even though I don't really like the church and where they stand on my kind of lifestyle and the fact that I like guys more than girls, I still make it a point to go to Easter and Christmas mass out of respect if nothing else. I also make it a point to wear the nicest things I can possibly have on me at the time, which is starting to grow small on me. I need a new set of formal wear anyway. I've been wearing the same brown set for the last three or four years now. (Incidentally, the shade of brown on my sport jacket matches my skin tone.)

The thing is, I could have gotten away with just wearing a T-shirt and jeans! I was very surprised how many people came to church wearing just that! Granted they were in Easter colors, but still. While the majority came in their suits and ties, several people came dressed looking like they were going to the beach right after church! I was still the only male in the room with a ponytail, however.

Lastly, I noticed several odd things about the people in front of me. Two rows in front were a pair of boys. They were either brothers or really close friends or some kind of relation. I can't tell any more, as I'm convinced the gene pool of facial feature is starting to get shallow on the Caucasian end, much like how it kind of is on the Asian end. The only sure thing I can tell you is that they were really playful with each other. I don't know why, but I kept wondering if they were gay and together. The shorter of the two boys at one point put his arm across the back rest of the other. A few moments later, the other boy jokingly leaned over towards him. They both smiled at each other, and the shorter boy then withdrew his arm back into his lap. At the point in the mass when we are to hold hands to say the "Our Father" prayer, I noticed that, again, the shorter of the two boys adjusted his hand so that he held the other one's hand like a couple would. I saw a smile between the two of them, and their hands stayed that way for the whole prayer.

It made me curious as to who those two boys are and what the deal with them is. I would like to say that it gave me hope, but it really didn't. Compared to them, I'm not all that hot. Hell, even the alter boy that was helping today's service, whom I know is also Filipino, looked hotter than I ever will or ever have!

Sitting a row in front of them was another young man in his Sunday Easter best. Nothing was really all that striking to me, until I saw his ring. He was wearing a ring on his pinky that had the biggest precious rock I have ever seen in my life! It was bigger than his finger! I was convinced that the weight of the ring would cause it to slip off his pinky! It made me feel even more poor than I already am.

One last odd thing I just realized as a way to close this entry. Don't you find it odd that it can take you forever and a day to get ready for a formal event but only two seconds to get out whatever it was you were in for that event?

Sony ordered to pay $90.7 mil. in patent infringement suit

From Japan Today:

The U.S. District Court in Oakland, California, has ordered Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. and its U.S. unit to pay $90.7 million in damages to Immersion Corp. for patent infringement over controllers used with PlayStation game consoles.

In the ruling handed down Thursday, the federal court also ordered Sony Computer Entertainment and Sony Entertainment America Inc. to stop selling the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 game consoles using Dualshock controllers as well as more than 40 game software products.

Well, ain't this just super. Not only can I not play Katamari Damacy right now (seeing how I'm still rather poor), but it looks like I may not be able to play it ever! The game is strictly Dualshock controller only!

If I can, I'm going to keep an eye on this one. If it turns out that future PS2s won't have the controller I need, I might as well sell my Christmas Gift to GameStop.

And the sad thing is, I haven't even unwrapped it from its plastic seal yet!

Satan's in the DVD Player

Because my mom wanted to, we watched Passion of the Christ.

Now, I would say that this film has caused me to be a reborn Catholic and all that, but that sadly isn't the case for me. I can see how empathetic people can say this, but my level of empathy isn't as high as those strong of faith. If anything, the movie made me feel uncomfortable physically to the point where my back itches with a thousand scars, my sides feel like they have been clawed by cats, my head feels like it is about to implode, and my hands feel like I'm missing several key bones.

As a movie, I'm sorry to say that this isn't an inspiring religious film. It's no Ten Commandments, a film I appreciate and respect. It feels too long. It's too gory of a film. It's not inspiring as everyone claimed it was short of the critics that say it is better suited in the horror genre of film.

Artistically, I have to hand it to Mel. Some of the scenes were excellently shot and created a poetry that most films today lack. The music, the visuals, and just the very emotion of the events is hard to capture in one form or another. Mel does this so well that I found myself appreciating the film on an artistic level. This is probably the first film that I appreciate on this level as well, so points for that.

Acting wise, the cast does their job just as well as how Mel got his shots in. I've seen several actors try to sell pain and sadness only to not pull it off and come off as ridiculous if not fake. (Claire Danes, I'm thinking of you in the final scene of Romeo + Juliet.) This cast sells those emotions so well, it's hard to believe that they were acting.

So why the title of this entry?

The DVD my mother got was faulty. During the part where Jesus is addressed by the other two people being nailed to the cross to either side of him, the DVD just halts. I had to press the skip button just to get to the next chapter. That's means that I missed viewing a rather important scene as far as the story goes.

Hence, the title.

Movie Trivia # 021: It's Half Past Ten, M'Lady

No to be outdone by the Greeks, a time-conscious character in the British-made The Viking Queen (1967) is clearly seen wearing a wristwatch.

This and other Movie Trivia posts brought to you by Roman Soldiers Don't Wear Watches by Bill Givens.

Black and White Photo Story Time

I probably won't post any more photos after this batch, seeing how finals are coming up. Thankfully, there are enough photos this round to make up for a while.

The assignment was to photograph and print a narrative. See if you can guess what kind of story I'm trying to say.





















And now for something completely unrelated...

I Need A New Life Passion

For the first time in a long time, I honestly feel like I don't belong here.

What do I mean by 'here?' I mean Watkins. I don't feel like I belong here. Yes, I enjoy my time here, and I love all the projects that I'm doing, but I just don't feel like I belong.

Some students were talking at the start of class with Terry about Erin, our shop tech, getting her Fellowship (whatever that is) with an Ohio Grad School. Terry said that Erin told him the school is very similar to Watkins. The students spend all night working on projects they care about, and people help out other people. There is a nice support network and a very strong sense of community in that school, much like at Watkins.

I don't know, but just a while ago the idea of being a part of a community finally sunk in. And I'm not a part of this community or any other community that is seen in even a remotely positive light.

Why?

For starters, I don't really go to any of the various art shows that I get invites to. Mostly because I can't make them. Meanwhile, the more respectable people in my department (or at least the ones that I hold on a pedestal for one reason or another) make it a point to go to as many as they can. They also are highly committed to their work and see it through with every great detail, even if it sets them back several weeks at a time. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I was pretty much trained to at least try to be efficient with my time. I'll admit that I'm not, but I at least try to be. That's why I cancelled my Spring Break and opted to work in the studios. Yes, that may be me falling into the whole commitment idea I mentioned, but I see it more of just trying to get X-step done by this time or else I will be behind. When you're in high school, it's okay to be a little behind, but not in college.

The people here just seem more responsible and more well-equipped for life than I ever will be. Whenever I'm here, I feel like the little bratty kid that gets on people's nerves because of how much I follow the rules and make sure that I meet the teacher's timelines. We are, after all, their students. But the students are more than that with their teachers. They are friends and fellow artists.

Case in point, Terry went with Mike to an S&M/Dark Fantasy convention as Guest Artists. Mike said they had a blast there! They didn't sell much art, because, well, let's face it, art and sex? But still, they had a blast dressing up to fit the theme and enjoying the free beer all the vendors got!

When was the last time I ever got to do something similar to that with one of my teachers outside of a classroom setting? Never.

You know, looking back on this post, I'm reminded of something someone told me. They said the best support network you can ever have is yourself. If you cannot support yourself, who will?

I guess I should look somewhere else for a future career or life or something, because I obviously can't support myself or my works or even my self-esteem in art given how talented everyone else around me is.

Yogurt May Help Dieters Shed More Body Fat

From Yahoo! News

Among 34 obese men and women who went on a 12-week, reduced-calorie diet, those who ate three daily servings of yogurt shed more fat around the middle compared with dieters who got little to no dairy and low amounts of calcium.

The findings add to recent evidence linking calcium and dairy foods to slimmer waistlines, including research showing that children and teens who get the recommended amounts of milk, yogurt and cheese tend to be leaner than their peers who shun dairy.

Well, I've always known that I need to increase my calcium intake in my diet, and I am getting rather offended that my own mother is calling me fat.

I better tell my dad to get a bulk supply of yogurt then next time he goes to Sam's Club for supplies.

10 Die in Minn. Student's Shooting Rampage

From Yahoo! News:

A high school student went on a shooting rampage on an Indian reservation Monday, killing his grandparents at their home and then seven people at his school, grinning and waving as he fired, authorities and witnesses said. The suspect apparently killed himself after exchanging gunfire with police.

It was the nation's worst school shooting since the Columbine massacre in 1999 that killed 13 people.

Further proof that the world and humanity in general are going to Hell.

5-Year-Old Cuffed, Arrested in Florida

I kid you not.

A 5-year-old girl was arrested, cuffed and put in back of a police cruiser after an outburst at school where she threw books and boxes, kicked a teacher in the shins, smashed a candy dish, hit an assistant principal in the stomach and drew on the walls.

The students were counting jelly beans as part of a math exercise at Fairmount Park Elementary School when the little girl began acting silly. That's when her teacher took away her jelly beans, outraging the child.

Minutes later, the 40-pound girl was in the back of a police cruiser, under arrest for battery. Her hands were bound with plastic ties, her ankles in handcuffs.

While police say their actions were proper, school officials were not pleased with the outcome.

"We never want to have 5-year-old children arrested," said Michael Bessette, the district's Area III superintendent.

Good Lord, what the hell is our world coming to?! Religious wars, the U. S. Government decided the fate of a single person instead of a group of people, Amber Alerts left and right, and now a child in kindergarten is arrested?!

And it doesn't stop there! The mother of the child is going to sue because she claims the school set her child up!

Yup, society is definitely going down the proverbial drain. No question about it now.

Church denies funeral for gay bar owner

From PlanetOut:

John McCusker, who was gay, died Sunday of congestive heart failure at a ski resort, his family said.

Arrangements had been made to hold funeral services at the Immaculata Catholic Church on the University of San Diego campus, McCusker's alma mater that is affiliated with the Church.

But San Diego Bishop Robert Brom decided none of the 98 Catholic churches in San Diego or Imperial counties could provide funeral rites for McCusker, who was 31.

"The facts regarding the business activities of John McCusker were not known by Church officials when arrangements were requested for his funeral," the diocese said Thursday in a statement.

"However, when these facts became known, the bishop concluded that to avoid public scandal Mr. McCusker cannot be granted a funeral in a Catholic church or chapel in the Diocese of San Diego."

Chancellor Rodrigo Valdivia said the Church's decision was not related to McCusker's sexual orientation.

"His business is adult entertainment, which is inconsistent with Catholic teaching," Valdivia said.

By trying to avoid a scandal, the bishop created one.

I don't see what the big deal is. The man is dead! I bet you several other gay bar owners have died before him and have had burial rites done with little to no problems. What makes this guy's case so different? Because he owned a bar that was aimed at the adult gay market? What bar isn't aimed at the adult market?!

If you read the article, the Chancellor says something about McCusker being a "manifest sinner" who will cause public scandal if they are given proper funeral rites. This is completely new to me. I have no idea what a "manifest sinner" is. But if the term is anything like the term "manifest destiny," then apparently this guy believes that McCusker was given the bar as ordered by God. So pretty much, God wanted him to sin. I know I'm probably interpreting that wrong, but that's what I think.

Just bury him already and call it done.

My Wireless Router is eViL!!

I frequent the music remix site linked here as OverClocked Remix a lot, listening to the great remixes of various video games talented musicians post on there.

I also visit a lot of places that involve Flash animation like the Ninjai movie site and Bonus Stage.

However, I made a rather strange discovery. It would appear that if I plug in the D-Link Wireless Router we have (model DI-514, for those that care), I can't access those places unless I have the patience of a Zen Monk. Things load so slowly, it's not even funny!

Yet I still need to plug this in so that my sister can use her laptop whenever she's back in town. I think we need a better router. Suggestions?

Week In Review

A multi-subject post, for those of you that actually visit wanting to know about my life and my personal thoughts.

The Artist, The Scientist, and The Dork

For the past five days, I've been logging in studio time in the sculpture rooms. The reason is because of how complicated my pieces are going to be for this and the next project. I am doing several pieces in metal. The first ones for this current assignment is a pair of fantasy swords. One made of ice and one made of fire.

Each one has their own problems, but neither one of them I have quit on. Unlike the last project, where I wanted to quit, I never had that feeling once during the whole process. It seemed rather strange, but yet enjoyable.

I got to be a bit of a scientist during the week too. After finding out if those 3 hour starter logs that they sell at the grocery store are cutible without setting the building on fire (which they are, surprisingly), I set them up in the sand pit to see how they would burn for presentation reasons. Needless to say, I wasn't happy with how they were performing. It should be interesting come critique time, because I can see how a lot of things could go wrong right now with that project.

During this past week, I saw Jason again. He was looking for Terry, probably to ask him something on the professional level. Artist to artist, you know? I talked to him about his next show and his Senior Gallery that will be coming down at the end of next week. The entire time, I noticed that the twinkle in his eyes that I noticed during The Metrosexual Tent Revival wasn't there. Stress? Doubt it. Boyfriend? Yeah, that's probably it. He found himself someone or he isn't looking. Either way, he's out of the running from what I observed (but, then again, what do I know?). I felt like a complete dork when he left, however. I lost my chance to get his number and all the other connections I could have gotten given the five minute chat.

Surprisingly, he let on that he knew a lot about me. He knew I was in Terry's Sculpture class and that I am more of a 2-D kind of artist. I think what sent me for a loop was the fact he said that he's been sending me cards of all of his shows. He said that he's been using the student directory, and my name was first on the list. At least he knows who I am by name, which makes me smile. I just wish I knew him on a more personal level.

Model Needed - Requirements: I must KNOW you!

My next assignment in Figure Study is to draw the bust of someone I know from life. In other words, I'll be drawing a portraits of something I know while they are sitting there in front of me.

My family is out of the question. They are all too busy doing other things to even sit down for however-long-it-will-take-me just so I can complete an assignment.

That's when I had an idea!

I fired off an e-mail earlier in the week to James's e-mail addy. Surprisingly, he kept it and has been passing it on to David and Sam and anyone else that wants to talk to me. I titled the e-mail the way I usually do so that they know it is me and not some spammer. I told them the project and asked if they were interested. As payment, I am offering the original drawing after it has been graded. I mean, it wouldn't be smart of me to hand them the drawing as soon as I was done with it before it was graded, right?

A few days passed, and I fired off a more detailed e-mail to them. They didn't send me any kind of reply, so that e-mail was more of a follow up. You know, just to see if they actually got it. I told them that I would like a response by the end of the week, but so far I haven't gotten any.

It's times like these I wish I had more friends. James, David, Sam, and everyone else I talk online with can travel. That's not a problem. It's just, they are my last hope. If they don't reply back, I can only assume that they don't want to be a part of my project.

Which means I might as well draw the dog and fail the assignment because a dog is not a human figure.

Tennessee and Gays

This is for you, Shem.

This past week has been rather strange given several of the laws and bills the local government has passed or killed. Two big ones came to my attention.

The first one is a bill that was killed that would ban gay people from adopting children. This is a good thing. The opposition said that gay people can't provide a stable lifestyle for most children up for adoption. Social Service says otherwise. In the end, most of the politicians knew that these kids deserve a home, so the bill was given the axe 11-9.

Then, just yesterday, the very same body of government passed a State Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriages. The state already has a law on the books defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman, so why the amendment? Just to solidify it. The opposition said that passing this is being discriminating and bigoted. Frankly, I do agree, but I live in the Bible South. For all I know, these people don't object to the Ten Commandments being displayed in Government Court Houses.

I don't know what the deal is with this state. I mean, they allow gay people to adopt kids, but they don't allow them to marry. It's like Tennessee is saying you can't have a family if you are gay, but this is the best we can offer. You won't get tax breaks or any kind of inheritance rights or anything a "normal" family would have, but that's because you're gay!

This from a state where it is legal to eat road kill provided you call the state's Wildlife and Game Board reporting where you hit the deer and if you are going to take it home to cook.

Movie Trivia # 020: Picking on the Biggies - Terminator II: Judgment Day

This part of the book, whenever it comes up, is a long and very detailed look at some of the mistakes of the most popular and/or biggest movies of the time this book was published. In other words, this is going to be a long post.

Early on, a couple of flubs pop up. When Arnie is heading towards the bar, he passes a car parked outside. His cranial read-out says that the car he is scanning is a Plymouth Sedan. But those in the know say that it's a Ford.

Then he goes into the bar, where a denizen burns a hole in his chest with a cigar. But as the cigar is pulled away, the burn disappears for a brief moment before returning in the next shot.

A couple of errors even dog Linda Hamilton. As she runs down a hospital hallway barefoot, you hear the pitter-patter of feet wearing shoes. A little glitch from the Foley stage.

Later, she tells the doctors that there are 215 bones in the human body. He should have corrected her--there are only 206. Another thing about this sequence bothered many viewers--if she's in a high-security hospital, how could she get out with something as simple as a paper clip?

The film is plagued with examples of glass breaking out then popping right back in. One of the most obvious happens when Robert Patrick, as the "bad" Terminator, drives the heaving wrecker over the bridge into the Los Angeles River--yup, that's what it really is; that's the best we can do for a river out there.

Notice that as the truck hits the pavement, both windshields pop out. But then the very next shot, as the chase continues, they're back in place, albeit cracked. The glass broken out of the guard shack at the hospital by Arnie also returns in a later shot, as does a rear window in the police van as they're being chased by a helicopter. And while we're at it, in a close-up you can see a hole in the helicopter's windshield. In a later long shot, the hole's gone.

When Scwarzenegger, as the "good" Terminator, and young Edward Furlong are in the parking lot and Furlong tells him to put the gun down, he does so on his right side. But when Furlong picks the gun up, it has moved closer to the other side.

When Robert Patrick transforms into Furlong's foster mother, he kills the foster father when his left arm that's been turned into a blade. But when he falls into the molten metal and "rewinds" through his various transformations, Patrick's right arm is the blade.

Speaking of the molten metal sequence, an electrician noted that when she lowers Arnold into the soup, Linda Hamilton pushes the button on the control panel that would normally raise him up rather than lower him. Was this a last-ditch rescue attempt?

Finally, a closer look at Robert Patrick chasing the police van in the helicopter.

A couple of times when he's using both hands to reload his gun, you see an extra hand sneak out to fly the helicopter. We know he could transform himself, but an extra hand? It's surely the real-life helicopter pilot.

This and other Movie Trivia posts brought to you by Roman Soldiers Don't Wear Watches by Bill Givens.

First Hydrogen Car for Sale in 2012

From Yahoo! News:

The firm (DaimlerChrysler) has sent 60 Mercedes-Benz A-Class cars to Japan, Germany, Singapore and the United States for tests. Many car companies are developing hydrogen-powered cars to help wean the globe off diminishing oil supplies.

The Mercedes car uses fuel cell technology where electricity is generated through the chemical reaction between hydrogen and air, emitting only water vapor.

"It (commercialization) will start in 2012," Herbert Kohler, Vice President of the Body and Powertrain research unit at DaimlerChrysler told reporters in Brussels, on the margins of a hydrogen car technology exhibition.

I remember seeing a test model of this technology a few years back on 20/20, and the tech-rep they had during the feature said it would be available in 2006. Given how high gas prices are right now, I can't help but wonder if 2012 will be too late. Why too late? Well, by then, several commuters would be in the hole again just because of gas alone!

Then again, given the time between now and their projected date, it wouldn't surprise me if use of public transit went up dramatically. In fact, that would make me a little bit happier. Maybe then Nashville will have a more efficient bussing system.

'Wedgie' Added to Webster's Dictionary

From Yahoo! News:

Wedgie, a teenager's locker-room nightmare, has made it into the dictionary.

The new edition will carry this listing:

wedgie: noun. a prank in which the victim's undershorts are jerked upward so as to become wedged between the buttocks

The dictionary also carries the tradition wedgie definition of a type of shoe.

I wonder what other slang words will be added into the Webster's Dictionary.

Judge strikes down California gay marriage ban

Someone on Gaia gave me the heads up on this story.

A judge ruled Monday that California can no longer justify limiting marriage to a man and a woman, a legal milestone that if upheld on appeal would pave the way for the nation’s most populous state to follow Massachusetts in allowing same-sex couples to wed.

In an opinion that had been awaited because of San Francisco’s historical role as a gay rights battleground, San Francisco County Superior Court Judge Richard Kramer said that withholding marriage licenses from gays and lesbians is unconstitutional.

It's a step in the right direction, but like all things that eventually become law, it will take time. But at least it is a step in the right direction.

Andy

They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. With me, that joke holds true. For the most part, I'll do nearly anything for free food.

Tonight was no exception. In exchange for Mexican food, I had to go to church. Anyone that knows me well enough (which aren't that many, to be honest) knows I don't like being force-fed religious views I don't agree with anymore. The only reason I even go to church on Easter and Christmas is out of respect for the holiday. Call it my "Holy Obligation" if you want.

I was sitting there, and a few people that know my mom well enough in the church's internal government recognized me as the son that only comes to church once in a blue moon. My sister, home for Spring Break, was with us, so to have the whole family at church was a special occasion to them.

My sister pointed out an old friend sitting on the other side of the church. Andy Karg. At least that's how I think you spell his last name. I can't really remember. I'll explain why.

Back when I was little and not aware of my sexuality, I used to go to Sunday School like the little clam following the walrus and the carpenter that I am. During my time there, my best friend was Andy. He was everything I admired in a person. He was fun to be around, easy to talk to, had an attractive personality, and just a really great person. Whenever he wasn't there, Sunday School never felt fun.

Well, as time went on, I became a little more aware of myself and how The Church (meaning Catholicism as dictated by The Pope) thought of people like me. I left in tears and frustrated, passing by Andy's brother on the way to the car that summer evening. I sat there for the whole mass baking and sweating and hoping that I would die like one of those babies left in the car in the mall you kept hearing about during that time. Never happened.

Since then, I rarely saw Andy.

Today was the first time in a long time that I saw him. Looking at him, I could tell he was already better off than I am. He held himself with pride and humility. He looked even more attractive than I remember. He could easily double for Leonardo DiCaprio if his hair was shorter. He has the same jaw line and even the same build as DiCaprio. Whenever I was look at him during mass, I could tell his faith in God had grew to a point that I could never reach. Then again, this doesn't surprise me knowing that his father is in charge of mass music.

When mass ended, I glanced back at him again. He must have noticed me constantly turning around and looking at him. Anyone on that side of the room would, seeing how my family was sitting in the front row. He gave me a silent salute, a signal that he recognized and remembered me. I gave him a humble nod and then turned my attention back to my family wondering when they would start their way out to the car.

On the way back, I looked back at Andy as he walked towards where the choir was to meet up with his father. I knew that was probably the last time I'll ever get some kind of interaction with him. I started to feel sad again.

When you are away from a person you were once close to for so long, it's hard to reconnect with them. Both of you then to change so much that unless you keep up with each other on a regular basis, you become total strangers to each other again. As much as I wish I had Andy as my friend again, I know it wouldn't work out. We haven't talked to each other since I was in the same middle school as him. That's at least seven years if not more.

Take note, people. I'm becoming more and more socially impudent.

"You're in one of your moods again..."

I haven't done this in a while, but that is because I'm trying to stop. I guess I can't.

I just sat there trying to play one of my Pokemon games (one of the older ones, I might add) when I started to reflect again. It's Friday. The Friday of Spring Break. I'm 21 and a single gay male. I should be out partying, getting drunk, getting laid. I should be doing something other than what I am doing.

But I'm not.

I'm not social. People scare me. Asking people a question I have no objection towards, but hanging out with total strangers takes a long time for me to grow comfortable with. I want what other people have, but I know I can't have it.

So, here I am, sitting in front of the computer trying to get my depression out on words while listening to The Blues Brothers. Something I haven't done in months. Complaining about how my life sucks, how I haven't been laid in I-don't-know-how-long-anymore. You know, the boring stuff. It's a wonder why I changed formats to an even more boring blog.

I, technically, don't have a life worth writing about. I probably came to that realization a few weeks into the whole news and trivia angle, but I wouldn't know. I'm too lazy and depressed to search back how far it has been since I started doing this.

When was the last time I was happy? When things actually went my way. When was that? Before life started throwing problems at me. Can I be more specific? Yes, but what good would that do? I discovered in sculpture that my problems in life come out in art and vice versa. When something I didn't see comes along, I get frustrated and depressed and have a hard time seeing the light at the end of that very long and dark tunnel. The only difference is that I can experiment in art and not in life. In my classes, I have the support of my teachers and the grades of encouragement they give me. I don't really have anyone like that following me around saying that I get a score of 80 out of 100 for handling a social situation given my skill level. I don't really have anyone I can turn to for advice as to how to tackle a problem or even help me with it.

I need a life teacher.

Movie Trivia # 019: In and Out of the Dark

In JFK (1991), when in a restaurant with Kevin Costner, John Candy stands up from the table wearing his sunglasses. In the next shot, his hat is in his hand, but there are no sunglasses anywhere. Then when he puts the hat on his head, he's wearing shades again.

Similarly, in Beverly Hills Cop II (1987), Eddie Murphy as Alex Foley gets into a fight with a guard at a warehouse. Taking a punch, the guard's sunglasses fly off his face. After a few seconds of struggle with Murphy, he's wearing them again.

Black & White Photo Assignment

This week, my attempt to photograph like Henri Cartier-Bresson. I supplied the link because I'm too lazy to quote what I had to write for my report. If you want to know who he is, use the link.

Anyway, here are my pictures.




(Mom hates me for printing this more than she did when I first took this.)


(My teacher says that this picture looks kind of like this famous picture Cartier-Bresson did, only without the tension.)



(And finally, something to make you laugh)



Next Week: Spring Break, so no pictures
In Two Weeks: Narrative Pictures

Kansas Episcopal church plans to separate

From PlanetOut:

The largest parish in the Episcopal diocese of eastern Kansas plans to separate from the national Episcopal Church in part because of the ordination of an openly gay bishop.

The rest of the article sounds like a political justification as to why the church is separating, but I think we all know why.

Hey, at this rate, most of the major religions will collapse in on themselves! If this keeps up, I'm sure our government will do the same.

Starting to Think Practically

Over the weekend, I've been trying to get Jason out of my head knowing well enough that it wouldn't work out no matter how much I wanted it to. Yes, I know. I'm more than likely being too hard on myself. Given my situation, Jason could be the best thing to happen to me since David cancelled what I hoped would be my ultimate summer.

But you have to remember something. Jason is just way out of my league.

I have a tendency to not think things in a practical sense. If my last project in sculpture tells me anything, I'm overly ambitious when put in a situation without limits. Yes, in my eye I can produce some amazing results aimed at a small and select few.

But I need to know my limits.

With that project, my limits were time and money. Later, gravity was another factor. With Jason, my limitations are pretty much the same as when I fancied Andrew and James. He is just too damn good for me. His paintings make me wish I could do better (and we all know where that leads, don't we?). The way he carries himself when I've seen him is so strong and proud.

Given how I am, it would never work.

The Metrosexual Tent Revival

Tonight was the first time I got to go to an opening at Secret Show. Thanks in part to a curious mother.

I won't waste your time talking about art pieces you'll probably never see unless you live down here. For me, it was more than just going to see the art of several students and teachers that I've come to know by name. It was actually an experience that I hope I soon don't forget.

For my mother, the show was a disappointment. Given the area, she was expecting a large open warehouse. What she got was the abandoned upstairs offices of a theatre in the middle of what may or may not be the ghetto.

I don't know what my dad thought about it.

For me, it was an education. I saw where my beginnings would be. I saw what kind of work it took just to be noticed by my peers and teachers. The kind of work I wish I could create if given unlimited funds and no time limit. All of the work from the conceptual to the beautiful were just as I had hoped and more. What was strange is that several people that saw me almost sounded like they didn't expect to see me at the opening. My mother said later that this impression was because I don't get out much. I guess that part of my reputation (or lack there of) precedes me.

The night, however, belongs to one man. At least for me it does. Jason Driskill.

Anyone that has kept up with this blog knows who he is, and a few know a little more than that. Tonight, however, I felt something that made me giddy like a school girl and at the same time sadder than I've ever felt before in my life.

I caught Jason on my way out. He was bringing food in and running around helping. On his way downstairs, I stopped him and told him how I wished I could have been at his opening last week for his Graduation Gallery. He said it was okay because it wasn't all that eventful, but I still wanted to see it. I told him that all the works in the gallery right now are very beautiful. As I said this, I noticed I faltered in my words towards the end. It was as if I was trying to fight myself from saying that he was beautiful, something I've secretly thought for a while. On the way down, I caught him as he was leaving the office of Secret Show. He wasn't wearing his jacket, but a rather tight purple and white shirt with a glitter print of the Playboy Bunny on it. Very stereotypical gay fashion, the kind that I would normally cringe away from. However, when I saw Jason wear it, I smiled. He looked extremely cute to me just then. He noticed several people admiring his key wind chime that was hanging near the door. I positioned myself close to him and commented about how I liked the placement of the piece. It felt homey where it was. Like this was where the piece was to live and has always lived. As I said that, a fan of his walked in and they started up a very casual conversation with each other. I could tell they knew each other really well. When a fan and the person the fan admires gets together, it can be a beautiful thing. And this was. I noticed how my mother wanted to leave. My dad was just in the middle observing me and my element. At least, that's what I read off of him. I knew I had to go.

I told Jason that I had to leave and that I wish to see more of him in the future. We hugged.

We hugged.

I left the gallery feeling lighter than air and happier than I could remember in years. I was smiling. When my dad asked who that was I was talking to, I said Jason's name as if I was a school girl with a teenage pop crush. I felt myself skip as we walked back to the car. I don't remember how it came about, but I almost said that I love Jason to my parents. I caught myself by saying I love his pieces.

I left wanting more. I knew that he was done, and I wouldn't see him again. At least not until his next show, provided I get wind of it. I don't know. The thought alone makes me sad even though I was so happy just being able to talk to him again after so long.

Is this what it feels like to truly have love and lost?

Right to Name New Monkey Sells for $650G

From Yahoo! News:

The right to name a new species of monkey sold Thursday for $650,000 in an online auction, with the funds going to protect the Bolivian habitat where the species lives, the Web site that handled the sale said.

The species of titi monkey — which is about a foot tall and has a brown body, a golden crown, orange cheeks and a white-tipped tail — was discovered by a Wildlife Conservation Society scientist in Madidi National Park in Bolivia last year, the conservation society said. The term "titi monkey" describes about 30 species of monkeys found in South America.

The article didn't say what the winner is going to name the new species of monkey, but I have this odd feeling I'll be hearing about this story again come Monday morning on CNN.

Movie Trivia #018: Tied to Be Fit

Sam Waterston can't keep up with his tie in a scene from Woody Allen's September (1987). The movie has much to do with the expression of angst during a weekend in Vermont (has there ever been a Woody Allen movie sans angst?). Waterston's is so severe that during a conversation with Jack Warden, his necktie is alternately tied and untied at regular intervals.

I don't know. This sounds more like an artistic intent rather than a contingency error, but then again I'm not a film major.

Black & White Photos

I would share what the assignment was this week, but I won't. It's just kind of complicated.





{The next two pictures are visual puns. Take a guess what I'm trying to say.)





Next Week: A (failed) attempt at photographing like Henri Cartier Bresson

High Court Mulls Ten Commandments Displays

From Yahoo! News:

The Supreme Court is considering whether Ten Commandments displays on government property unconstitutionally entangle church and state, a cultural battle that has splintered lower courts for more than two decades.

Here we go again!

I would express my opinion on the matter, but honestly, I'm starting to feel like Zero is getting rather lonely being my sole commentator here. So, I'm asking you to leave your opinion on this matter (a la "Question of the Day").

Should the Ten Commandments be displayed on government property, either indoors or outdoors?

Past a Burnt Bridge

A thought flies over my mind as I get ready to face the day.

I stand before a computer, and as I do, it transforms into a large river with a series of burned posts. A bridge was here. A bridge I walked over several times. I can see the worn-out path below my feet, but I can no longer see what is on the other side. I know I will miss it, because staring into the fog I see a golden light. A light so beautiful that it has to be absent from my island.

I lost another connection outside my world.

Williams mocks gay cartoon flap

From PlanetOut:

Robin Williams gave new meaning to the term "tape delay" at the Academy Awards. Before presenting the award Sunday for best animated feature, he paused to rip a large piece of white tape off his mouth and then proceeded to mock those who connect cartoon characters with pro-gay messages.

"They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!"

Williams suggested that other cartoon characters through history also might have been gay -- and he didn't spare Disney icons, although Disney-owned ABC was airing the awards show.

"What about Donald Duck? Sailor top, no pants. Hello?" Williams said.

"Bugs Bunny. More dresses than J. Edgar Hoover at Mardi Gras. Hello?" Williams concluded.

And I missed this? Damn.