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Trust me, you'll like it. It's hillarious!
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Monday, December 30, 2002
Sunday, December 29, 2002
Nope, no DDR Workout stuff or wondering if I should pick back up Pokemon seeing how the only secrets I have left in Pokemon Stadium 1 is the Amniesa Pysduck outside of gaining another surfing Pikachu, Normal Box, and Lovely Box (or whatever it's called). No taking of tests to see what kind of Yu-Gi-Oh card I would be or how pick-up-able I am in the game of love. No, today's rant is different.
Today's rant comes from the heart, not from the mind like it used to.
Have you ever been in love with something or someone you could never have? Have you ever wish that just once you could wake up to see him or her or it waiting there for you? Do you wish with all your might that just for once in your life things could go your way? That things would be perfect? As selfish as that seems, most people wish for that almost everyday. I'm one of them. Everyday, every time I fall asleep and wake up, I just wish that for once I could wake up in a room that's not mine once again. Just once I wish I could wak up next to a person again instead of a pillow. And just once, to make it perfect, I wish the person sleeping next to me, holding me, breathing on me would be none other than James.
I don't know why it is like this. I know we agreed to go our different ways, but I still want him so badly! I can't have him. I know I can't. That's just impossible. As much as I love him, I know I can never have him again. I know that by the time I'll even have a chance to meet him, he would have found another. And it hurts me dearly. For he was the best in the world. He is the best in the world. No man or woman or anything can come close to shadowing him. Everything pales in comparison to him! Who needs anything when all you have is James? James is everything to me. And I lost everything.
Before I wrote this, I woke up from a nap hugging a pillow oh-so tightly. I wanted to feel his muscles and his big arms holding me. I knew that would never happen ever.
I know for a fact that I'll never find anyone like him ever again. I also know for a fact that there is someone out there that is much better than me.
Come the New Year, I'm quitting the sick little game of Love. If I can't have James, I might as well just die alone.
Today's rant comes from the heart, not from the mind like it used to.
Have you ever been in love with something or someone you could never have? Have you ever wish that just once you could wake up to see him or her or it waiting there for you? Do you wish with all your might that just for once in your life things could go your way? That things would be perfect? As selfish as that seems, most people wish for that almost everyday. I'm one of them. Everyday, every time I fall asleep and wake up, I just wish that for once I could wake up in a room that's not mine once again. Just once I wish I could wak up next to a person again instead of a pillow. And just once, to make it perfect, I wish the person sleeping next to me, holding me, breathing on me would be none other than James.
I don't know why it is like this. I know we agreed to go our different ways, but I still want him so badly! I can't have him. I know I can't. That's just impossible. As much as I love him, I know I can never have him again. I know that by the time I'll even have a chance to meet him, he would have found another. And it hurts me dearly. For he was the best in the world. He is the best in the world. No man or woman or anything can come close to shadowing him. Everything pales in comparison to him! Who needs anything when all you have is James? James is everything to me. And I lost everything.
Before I wrote this, I woke up from a nap hugging a pillow oh-so tightly. I wanted to feel his muscles and his big arms holding me. I knew that would never happen ever.
I know for a fact that I'll never find anyone like him ever again. I also know for a fact that there is someone out there that is much better than me.
Come the New Year, I'm quitting the sick little game of Love. If I can't have James, I might as well just die alone.
Saturday, December 28, 2002
What Kind Of Pokemon Are You?
Gah!! That's scary! And to think, I used to find this little balloon of a Pokemon cute!!
Friday, December 27, 2002
Well, since the Archives are fucking up again and there is nothing I can do about it, I might as well blog like normal and try again in the morning.
Anyway...
Look what NeoPets just mailed me about my Christmas Gift's Rare Item Code:
Hi,
Thanks for writing. The rare item codes for Grundo's warehouse were located on the merchandise originally available in the California stores on November 10th, 2001. They were not on the items from the online store. Neopets merchandise is now available in all Limited Too stores across America. Please click the link on the main page, www.neopets.com, or the news page, for more information. There was also one special day where NeoPets merchandise was available in Singapore. If you bought something at any of these locations, you will either see a sticker on the item that says secret code, or you received a card. You need to go to the grundos warehouse, located on the space station, and type in your code. If you bought a secret code from someone else, don't be surprised if the code doesn't work, or has already been claimed. Don't fall for anyone claiming to sell their 'secret code', it is usually a scam.
CLAIRE'S:
The RARE ITEM CODE ITEMS have now been released for the Claire's petpet merchandise, in the UK as well as in the US. :O) You can get anything from a Doglefox Marker to a super rare Baabackpack! The codes are only included on the stickers and notebooks etc., items that are sealed so no one else can see the code.
NOTE : If you are from Canada and redeeming a rare item code from a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, please visit this URL instead : http://www.neopets.com/bee . Thanks!
If your code doesn't work the first time, please try waiting a day, and trying again. Sometimes the codes are released a little bit early, and our system wasn't ready to accept those codes yet. :O)
If you are sure you have the right code, you got it directly from the store, and it doesn't work, please write back. Make sure you include your username, the code, when and where you got it, and this entire message. Please also put 'invalid code' in the subject line.
Thank you,
The NeoPets Team
Why do I have this feeling like this was typed by a machine? In any case, the last paragraph doesn't include me. I know my sister doesn't use NeoPets, but who knows who stole the code before me? I might as well just forget about that little Christmas "extra." Oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles I guess.
Anyway...
Look what NeoPets just mailed me about my Christmas Gift's Rare Item Code:
Hi,
Thanks for writing. The rare item codes for Grundo's warehouse were located on the merchandise originally available in the California stores on November 10th, 2001. They were not on the items from the online store. Neopets merchandise is now available in all Limited Too stores across America. Please click the link on the main page, www.neopets.com, or the news page, for more information. There was also one special day where NeoPets merchandise was available in Singapore. If you bought something at any of these locations, you will either see a sticker on the item that says secret code, or you received a card. You need to go to the grundos warehouse, located on the space station, and type in your code. If you bought a secret code from someone else, don't be surprised if the code doesn't work, or has already been claimed. Don't fall for anyone claiming to sell their 'secret code', it is usually a scam.
CLAIRE'S:
The RARE ITEM CODE ITEMS have now been released for the Claire's petpet merchandise, in the UK as well as in the US. :O) You can get anything from a Doglefox Marker to a super rare Baabackpack! The codes are only included on the stickers and notebooks etc., items that are sealed so no one else can see the code.
NOTE : If you are from Canada and redeeming a rare item code from a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, please visit this URL instead : http://www.neopets.com/bee . Thanks!
If your code doesn't work the first time, please try waiting a day, and trying again. Sometimes the codes are released a little bit early, and our system wasn't ready to accept those codes yet. :O)
If you are sure you have the right code, you got it directly from the store, and it doesn't work, please write back. Make sure you include your username, the code, when and where you got it, and this entire message. Please also put 'invalid code' in the subject line.
Thank you,
The NeoPets Team
Why do I have this feeling like this was typed by a machine? In any case, the last paragraph doesn't include me. I know my sister doesn't use NeoPets, but who knows who stole the code before me? I might as well just forget about that little Christmas "extra." Oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles I guess.
As I was resting and re-evaluating the plan about playing DDR to get back into shape, I couldn't help but go through some of my games. I didn't play many of them; I just looked at what I had.
A good portion of my games are all RPGs for some reason. They are all good RPGs in my opinion... well, except for Tomba! which doesn't make much sense to me to begin with (Oooo, evil pigs are going to destroy the earth... Whatever.), but they are all really good RPGs to play. The thing is, I don't know where I left off in most of them! Some of them I have a general idea of, like all my Pokemon ones, and others I can pick back up just by looking at where I am in the status page if they have one, like in... in... well, the only one that comes to mind is Pokemon Staduim, but I know there are others. The rest, like Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I don't have the slightest idea where I am in that game! If worst comes to worst, I might as well just start over again from the begining. Hey, most of these RPGs are all story based anyway. It's like reading a book. If you can't remember what happened, look back at the begining. There are a few games where going back to the start would be benifitial for me, like Zelda and Pokemon, while others like LUNAR aren't really unless I want to go through all that trouble of leveling up and finding this item here and there and looking up walkthrus on GameFAQs and so on because I've practically memorized the story like it was a movie I've seen a million times!
Another thing that crossed my mind when I went through my games is that no one really plays these games or these systems anymore. Hell, I have the old and extremely rare Sega CDX which was Sega's attempt to make their Sega CD system more portible!! Who still plays games on that? I do have some good ones for it... if you consider Sonic CD and Mickey Mouse's game through time good ones. If not, then play Sewer Shark. But still, not even I play those anymore! I looked at my unopened and unwraped Pokemon Gold game and still wonder as I'm typing this if I'll ever get a chance to play it if even on a casual basis.
That's when it hit me. I've become a casual gamer! It's not my fault. I've just evolved into it. Yes, games are fun, but believe it or not, I used to make it my life! In fact, there should be hints of it in early blog entries here. So, as a casual gamer, what can I do with these old games and systems? Play them at my lesuire of course. When will that be? Who knows? The only game I have set up is DDR and it feels odd to be playing that again. If that's the case, imagin how odd it will feel for me to pick back up Pokemon Red. In any event, I know the time will come when I'll end up setting back up the N64 and playing Pokemon Stadium with Red and/or Blue in the little GB64 attachment thingy, learning the game again and mastering it by myself.
That's another thing I noticed. Most of these games that I used to be into were social games. In a way, I'm still interested in social video games. There's just one problem. No friends. Sure, DDR is a social video game in the arcade. People come up to you and start asking how to play, how long have you been playing, and soon you get into a conversation that results in selling the game to them (or is that last part strickly for Best Buy personel?). But games that I used to be into like Soul Blade and even now with Animal Crossing are social games that involve playing with a buddy. Yes, it's fun sometimes to beat the snot out of the computer in, oh, let's say, Star Wars Fighters, but isn't the real challenge in fighting another person that has spent the same if not more time on the game as you have?
While games are a good escape for me, it's starting to become rather a drag again. I finally remembered why I ended up not playing them for so long. First off, I never really had anything that was considered cool. And second, I had no one to play them with let alone someone who was interested in the same games I was.
Heh, Pokemon... What a power trip that game is.
Gotta catch 'em all!
A good portion of my games are all RPGs for some reason. They are all good RPGs in my opinion... well, except for Tomba! which doesn't make much sense to me to begin with (Oooo, evil pigs are going to destroy the earth... Whatever.), but they are all really good RPGs to play. The thing is, I don't know where I left off in most of them! Some of them I have a general idea of, like all my Pokemon ones, and others I can pick back up just by looking at where I am in the status page if they have one, like in... in... well, the only one that comes to mind is Pokemon Staduim, but I know there are others. The rest, like Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I don't have the slightest idea where I am in that game! If worst comes to worst, I might as well just start over again from the begining. Hey, most of these RPGs are all story based anyway. It's like reading a book. If you can't remember what happened, look back at the begining. There are a few games where going back to the start would be benifitial for me, like Zelda and Pokemon, while others like LUNAR aren't really unless I want to go through all that trouble of leveling up and finding this item here and there and looking up walkthrus on GameFAQs and so on because I've practically memorized the story like it was a movie I've seen a million times!
Another thing that crossed my mind when I went through my games is that no one really plays these games or these systems anymore. Hell, I have the old and extremely rare Sega CDX which was Sega's attempt to make their Sega CD system more portible!! Who still plays games on that? I do have some good ones for it... if you consider Sonic CD and Mickey Mouse's game through time good ones. If not, then play Sewer Shark. But still, not even I play those anymore! I looked at my unopened and unwraped Pokemon Gold game and still wonder as I'm typing this if I'll ever get a chance to play it if even on a casual basis.
That's when it hit me. I've become a casual gamer! It's not my fault. I've just evolved into it. Yes, games are fun, but believe it or not, I used to make it my life! In fact, there should be hints of it in early blog entries here. So, as a casual gamer, what can I do with these old games and systems? Play them at my lesuire of course. When will that be? Who knows? The only game I have set up is DDR and it feels odd to be playing that again. If that's the case, imagin how odd it will feel for me to pick back up Pokemon Red. In any event, I know the time will come when I'll end up setting back up the N64 and playing Pokemon Stadium with Red and/or Blue in the little GB64 attachment thingy, learning the game again and mastering it by myself.
That's another thing I noticed. Most of these games that I used to be into were social games. In a way, I'm still interested in social video games. There's just one problem. No friends. Sure, DDR is a social video game in the arcade. People come up to you and start asking how to play, how long have you been playing, and soon you get into a conversation that results in selling the game to them (or is that last part strickly for Best Buy personel?). But games that I used to be into like Soul Blade and even now with Animal Crossing are social games that involve playing with a buddy. Yes, it's fun sometimes to beat the snot out of the computer in, oh, let's say, Star Wars Fighters, but isn't the real challenge in fighting another person that has spent the same if not more time on the game as you have?
While games are a good escape for me, it's starting to become rather a drag again. I finally remembered why I ended up not playing them for so long. First off, I never really had anything that was considered cool. And second, I had no one to play them with let alone someone who was interested in the same games I was.
Heh, Pokemon... What a power trip that game is.
Gotta catch 'em all!
It finally dawned on me today.
I just got off DDR in workout mode. I only burned off 57.714kcals. I'm asuming that the K in kcals means kilo as in thousand. I feel beat and weak. I remember a time when I used to be able to do that without getting tired, when I could do about twice that much before I would sweat.
The thing is, I was distracted. Whenever you play video games, you have to concentrait sometimes. Especially with this game. Concentration with DDR can mean the differance between winning and losing. But like I said, I was distracted. Playing DDR at home just felt alien to me. I've done it before, but for some reason, it just didn't feel right.
That's when it finally hit me. I got too used to playing it on the big arcade machine! I got too used to just shifting my weight to make the arrow register instead of having to stomp on the mat. I got too used to the flashing lights in a dark room. I got too used to not having to use my feet to guide through the menu. I got too used to playing this game with shoes and jeans instead of socks and sweatpants!! I got used to the shock absorbers in the metal stage instead of the sound of my floor creaking and the decoration atop the entertainment center shaking! I got too used to paying to play!! I GOT TOO USED TO THE ATTENTION I GOT PLAYING!
Man, who knew this would happen?
I just got off DDR in workout mode. I only burned off 57.714kcals. I'm asuming that the K in kcals means kilo as in thousand. I feel beat and weak. I remember a time when I used to be able to do that without getting tired, when I could do about twice that much before I would sweat.
The thing is, I was distracted. Whenever you play video games, you have to concentrait sometimes. Especially with this game. Concentration with DDR can mean the differance between winning and losing. But like I said, I was distracted. Playing DDR at home just felt alien to me. I've done it before, but for some reason, it just didn't feel right.
That's when it finally hit me. I got too used to playing it on the big arcade machine! I got too used to just shifting my weight to make the arrow register instead of having to stomp on the mat. I got too used to the flashing lights in a dark room. I got too used to not having to use my feet to guide through the menu. I got too used to playing this game with shoes and jeans instead of socks and sweatpants!! I got used to the shock absorbers in the metal stage instead of the sound of my floor creaking and the decoration atop the entertainment center shaking! I got too used to paying to play!! I GOT TOO USED TO THE ATTENTION I GOT PLAYING!
Man, who knew this would happen?
Thursday, December 26, 2002
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Yeah, I would like to spend time with friends away from the computer... but I don't have any.
Why the hell did I have a dream that I was having sex with AJ Trauth? On top of that, does he really have a dick that's about as big as my dildo I have?
I'm not looking for an answer to the second question. That was just to stupid to ask.
Okay, so I'm impatient too. I'm just a bad bad bad person. Ask anyone that knows me well enough, really!
I couldn't wait for the damn mat to deflate so I duct taped it down and tried out a few tracks to get used to the feel of the mat again. Let me tell you something, it's really really really strange feeling to be playing on that again. Hell, it feels strange playing a video game after so long!
Anyway, the normal trouble is that the back/down button responds kind of funny, but it's been like that to my memory. Give me about a week and I should be used to it again.
Now, I hope I remember to streach and bring plenty of water.
I couldn't wait for the damn mat to deflate so I duct taped it down and tried out a few tracks to get used to the feel of the mat again. Let me tell you something, it's really really really strange feeling to be playing on that again. Hell, it feels strange playing a video game after so long!
Anyway, the normal trouble is that the back/down button responds kind of funny, but it's been like that to my memory. Give me about a week and I should be used to it again.
Now, I hope I remember to streach and bring plenty of water.
I won't lie to you. Today I wanted to dildo myself, but instead I decided to get a head start on one of my resolutions. Namely the one that involves Dance Dance Revolution.
After doing my usual online routine of checking mail and grabbing all the freebies I can from NeoPets, I took the old but true pair of scissors and broke into the big iMac box I was using for my games. After cleaning it out, I figure I might as well keep the box as it is because of the fact that while I was gone, my "game drawer" got filled up. Oh well, I was only going to break out the PSX and DRR anyway.
Setting it up was no problem, I felt right at home with all the wires and stuff that was needed to hook it up. It was strange to see my old Playstation. It was even stranger to see my TV be used as a gaming machine again. That's a sign that tells me it's been too long since I last played a video game.
Right now, I'm trying to deflate the dance mat that came with my DDR game. I have four heavy storage tubs sitting over it. I'm thinking about letting it sit like that overnight before I duct tape it to the carpet.
Hey, that's how I got it to stop shifting the first time.
After doing my usual online routine of checking mail and grabbing all the freebies I can from NeoPets, I took the old but true pair of scissors and broke into the big iMac box I was using for my games. After cleaning it out, I figure I might as well keep the box as it is because of the fact that while I was gone, my "game drawer" got filled up. Oh well, I was only going to break out the PSX and DRR anyway.
Setting it up was no problem, I felt right at home with all the wires and stuff that was needed to hook it up. It was strange to see my old Playstation. It was even stranger to see my TV be used as a gaming machine again. That's a sign that tells me it's been too long since I last played a video game.
Right now, I'm trying to deflate the dance mat that came with my DDR game. I have four heavy storage tubs sitting over it. I'm thinking about letting it sit like that overnight before I duct tape it to the carpet.
Hey, that's how I got it to stop shifting the first time.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Boredom strikes, and this creative mind goes into overdrive? No, just hopes that come out of nowhere that I wish never made themselves known. What kind of hopes? Okay, so maybe the word "hopes" isn't the best word to describe these. More like impossible fantasies, dreams that will never come true. You know, those kind of things. The stuff you keep to yourself hoping that they happen? You know what I'm talking about. Everyone has one. If you don't have one, then you must be something not human.
So what is going through my mind that's making me blog yet again for the, what? Fifth time? What could possibly be going through my mind worth meantioning, worth the time it takes for me to type it up, worth your time to read it? What kind of rediculous dream is in my head this time?
I hope you have a snack with you right now.
Have you ever wished you could be cooler? I have. I've always dreamed that I was this uber-gamer like in that one 80s movie The Wiz Kid. The thing is, I wouldn't be this kid that knew the in's and out's of stupidly popular games of my generation. I'd be this kid that was like DJ 8Ball on DDRFreak.com that could freestyle at the drop of a hat. My little secret from society. So when would this secret come out? When it could gain me some attention. Dreams or not, I'm an attention hog. I want to be in the spotlight if I can for something I know I'm good at. Hell, I've had dreams where I was this member of the once-popular Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I say "once-popular" because Survivor took over the reality-TV market, it seems. Anyway, I would be on the Real World side with some girl member that I got all buddy-buddy with on the show, supposibly. The whole dream thing goes like this. The next mission/challenge we get shoots us up to either Seattle or Nashville. Either way, we end up in a GameWorks arcade. For example, if it was in Nashville, it would be at the grand opening at OpryMills or something to that effect. The reason we are at GameWorks is to have a Dance Dance Revolution dance off between the two teams. Go figure, huh? To make it fair, and so no one looks like a compleate dummy, they give us a day to train. Some point in the mission, the members of my team begin to get pissed at me for not trainning. Apparently, in my little fantasy, it gets to the point where someone pushes me onto the machine and forces me to pick a damn song. Up untill this point, everyone has been doing easy songs. Naturally, since I can't pass an oppurtunity to show off, I pick a song no one would touch because it's too hard... well, for them at least. Well, they are awed and as I compleate the whole three song set, I end up being labeled the winning card in the deck. From there, it gets predictable. At the major compitition, I show off and win it for Real World. And then I look like the big cool guy on campus that everyone would love to be around because his aura just expells coolness.
It will never happen.
Do you wish you could ever do something impossible? Do you wish you were good looking to the point where you'd be a modern day Adonis? Who doesn't?! Ever since my first experiance watching the martial arts in action, I've always wanted to be this second Bruce Lee. Yes, it is possible, but given my age, I wouldn't be able to reach the goal I wanted with this seemingly realistic dream. Maybe I'm setting my standards too high. I wanted to be able to do all the stuff that ninjas and samuris and assasins do. Climb walls just by running up them, draw swords in a flash, defend myself from a mob of attackers without breaking a sweat. The kind of stuff that would make you sit back and go "DAMN!" The kind of athletism that would cause a built so tight and lean it would be called perfect by any other description. The kind that every modeling agency scout would be looking for and would pay thousands of dollars for.
That will never happen.
Man, who knew that today alone would be so.... sucky for me as far as how my mind is at right now. I mean, it's Christmas for Christ's sake! He was born today! I should be all happy and celebrating!
I must be an alien.
So what is going through my mind that's making me blog yet again for the, what? Fifth time? What could possibly be going through my mind worth meantioning, worth the time it takes for me to type it up, worth your time to read it? What kind of rediculous dream is in my head this time?
I hope you have a snack with you right now.
Have you ever wished you could be cooler? I have. I've always dreamed that I was this uber-gamer like in that one 80s movie The Wiz Kid. The thing is, I wouldn't be this kid that knew the in's and out's of stupidly popular games of my generation. I'd be this kid that was like DJ 8Ball on DDRFreak.com that could freestyle at the drop of a hat. My little secret from society. So when would this secret come out? When it could gain me some attention. Dreams or not, I'm an attention hog. I want to be in the spotlight if I can for something I know I'm good at. Hell, I've had dreams where I was this member of the once-popular Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I say "once-popular" because Survivor took over the reality-TV market, it seems. Anyway, I would be on the Real World side with some girl member that I got all buddy-buddy with on the show, supposibly. The whole dream thing goes like this. The next mission/challenge we get shoots us up to either Seattle or Nashville. Either way, we end up in a GameWorks arcade. For example, if it was in Nashville, it would be at the grand opening at OpryMills or something to that effect. The reason we are at GameWorks is to have a Dance Dance Revolution dance off between the two teams. Go figure, huh? To make it fair, and so no one looks like a compleate dummy, they give us a day to train. Some point in the mission, the members of my team begin to get pissed at me for not trainning. Apparently, in my little fantasy, it gets to the point where someone pushes me onto the machine and forces me to pick a damn song. Up untill this point, everyone has been doing easy songs. Naturally, since I can't pass an oppurtunity to show off, I pick a song no one would touch because it's too hard... well, for them at least. Well, they are awed and as I compleate the whole three song set, I end up being labeled the winning card in the deck. From there, it gets predictable. At the major compitition, I show off and win it for Real World. And then I look like the big cool guy on campus that everyone would love to be around because his aura just expells coolness.
It will never happen.
Do you wish you could ever do something impossible? Do you wish you were good looking to the point where you'd be a modern day Adonis? Who doesn't?! Ever since my first experiance watching the martial arts in action, I've always wanted to be this second Bruce Lee. Yes, it is possible, but given my age, I wouldn't be able to reach the goal I wanted with this seemingly realistic dream. Maybe I'm setting my standards too high. I wanted to be able to do all the stuff that ninjas and samuris and assasins do. Climb walls just by running up them, draw swords in a flash, defend myself from a mob of attackers without breaking a sweat. The kind of stuff that would make you sit back and go "DAMN!" The kind of athletism that would cause a built so tight and lean it would be called perfect by any other description. The kind that every modeling agency scout would be looking for and would pay thousands of dollars for.
That will never happen.
Man, who knew that today alone would be so.... sucky for me as far as how my mind is at right now. I mean, it's Christmas for Christ's sake! He was born today! I should be all happy and celebrating!
I must be an alien.
(Hmm.. I was trying to find that little copyright site so I can copyright my blog. Oh well, so much for that.)
Having nothing better to do, I decided to watch Lilo & Stitch. I still cry every time Lilo or Stitch hurt like I did when I first saw it. Why? Because I can relate. I know the hurt of having nothing to revisit to make myself happy in a broken family. Well, this family is broken if you ask me.
After crying my eyes out, I started thinking about some things I have failed to blog. After debating about it in my head, I decided not to bother updating as to what I have failed to put here. Why? Cause it's not worth it. It's just the same tired story that you can find in every other update here.
Yes, those that have been keeping score. It happened again. This time for good.... I think... I hope... (Zeek, that was a bad thing to say just then.)
So what is there to write about while I'm here as I'm listening to the Linkin Park: Reanimation CD? Brace yourself.
Have you ever wanted to just start your life over? Have you ever wanted to just erase everything you ever regreted doing? Guess what? You can't. I've wanted to do that so many times, but the sad fact is that you just fucking can't. It's like the song goes. "I've tried so hard and gone so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter." It just doesn't matter what I do anymore. Add to my list of resolutions that I need to just live a life even if it's just pathetic. Why? Cause there is no reason to live anymore. You can't live a life you want without stepping on people's toes. Even if you are able to tip toe over them, you still can't avoid them compleately. So what's the point of this rant? What's the point to anything really? Why do I have this blog? Why do I play NeoPets? Why is it that come New Year's Eve that I'll break out my DDR game and mat in an attempt to get in shape? There isn't any. I could just bore you with excuses, and I have this feeling I have at several points in this blog. If I wanted to, I could point out where in the archives. Should I? No. Why? Cause it just doesn't matter.
Well, that was painless. Admitting that this whole life I have been trying to make for myself is nothing more but a delusion. So much for that. I was hoping that maybe I'd break down, cry, even go off on a tangent and rant about something seemingly unrelated (oops, too late). I wonder what that means.
Having nothing better to do, I decided to watch Lilo & Stitch. I still cry every time Lilo or Stitch hurt like I did when I first saw it. Why? Because I can relate. I know the hurt of having nothing to revisit to make myself happy in a broken family. Well, this family is broken if you ask me.
After crying my eyes out, I started thinking about some things I have failed to blog. After debating about it in my head, I decided not to bother updating as to what I have failed to put here. Why? Cause it's not worth it. It's just the same tired story that you can find in every other update here.
Yes, those that have been keeping score. It happened again. This time for good.... I think... I hope... (Zeek, that was a bad thing to say just then.)
So what is there to write about while I'm here as I'm listening to the Linkin Park: Reanimation CD? Brace yourself.
Have you ever wanted to just start your life over? Have you ever wanted to just erase everything you ever regreted doing? Guess what? You can't. I've wanted to do that so many times, but the sad fact is that you just fucking can't. It's like the song goes. "I've tried so hard and gone so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter." It just doesn't matter what I do anymore. Add to my list of resolutions that I need to just live a life even if it's just pathetic. Why? Cause there is no reason to live anymore. You can't live a life you want without stepping on people's toes. Even if you are able to tip toe over them, you still can't avoid them compleately. So what's the point of this rant? What's the point to anything really? Why do I have this blog? Why do I play NeoPets? Why is it that come New Year's Eve that I'll break out my DDR game and mat in an attempt to get in shape? There isn't any. I could just bore you with excuses, and I have this feeling I have at several points in this blog. If I wanted to, I could point out where in the archives. Should I? No. Why? Cause it just doesn't matter.
Well, that was painless. Admitting that this whole life I have been trying to make for myself is nothing more but a delusion. So much for that. I was hoping that maybe I'd break down, cry, even go off on a tangent and rant about something seemingly unrelated (oops, too late). I wonder what that means.
Okay, now that I'm not rushed to do anything and is alot more relaxed.
It's Christmas Day. Nothing to special or anything to me. It hasn't been since I can't remember when.
I've always wanted this day to be so perfect. Yes, maybe it's the commercialism getting to me, but still. The perfect Christmas for me would be like this.
There would be a tree near the fireplace in a cornor of the room all decked out as beautiful as we could make it. On the coffee table would be a nice, antique, yet simple Nativity. Along the fireplace would be cute little stocking holders with comical stocking hanging off of them while underneath in the fireplace a roaring fire burned. Come Christmas Day, it would be snowing outside and the presents would be piled almost as high as the tree itself! Everyone would open their gifts, and everyone would get what they wanted to get/give. Everyone would scream and shout and thank the giver for a wonderful gift. It would be a joyous and magical morning.
Unfortunately, that won't happen for a long long LONG time.
Well, since that is over for us here (as sad as it is for me to admit that Christmas is done for the day), I might as well start on my New Years Resolutions.
Resolutions for the Year 2003
1. Find a job!!
2. Try to lose some weight by breaking out DDR and starting it up again.
I wonder if I have room in my room still for that damn mat.
It's Christmas Day. Nothing to special or anything to me. It hasn't been since I can't remember when.
I've always wanted this day to be so perfect. Yes, maybe it's the commercialism getting to me, but still. The perfect Christmas for me would be like this.
There would be a tree near the fireplace in a cornor of the room all decked out as beautiful as we could make it. On the coffee table would be a nice, antique, yet simple Nativity. Along the fireplace would be cute little stocking holders with comical stocking hanging off of them while underneath in the fireplace a roaring fire burned. Come Christmas Day, it would be snowing outside and the presents would be piled almost as high as the tree itself! Everyone would open their gifts, and everyone would get what they wanted to get/give. Everyone would scream and shout and thank the giver for a wonderful gift. It would be a joyous and magical morning.
Unfortunately, that won't happen for a long long LONG time.
Well, since that is over for us here (as sad as it is for me to admit that Christmas is done for the day), I might as well start on my New Years Resolutions.
Resolutions for the Year 2003
1. Find a job!!
2. Try to lose some weight by breaking out DDR and starting it up again.
I wonder if I have room in my room still for that damn mat.
Well, it's Christmas Day.
What did I get today? Well, I got...
- about $80 or so. I haven't counted.
- Linkin Park: The Reanimation CD
- incense to burn
- Lilo & Stitch VHS
- a Kadoatie plushie
- a Rainbow Neopet notepad with a Rare Item Code. I have yet to enter it in.
- M&Ms
I'll post more later. Right now, I'm rushed to go to Christmas mass.
Friday, December 20, 2002
Which HP Kid Are You?
Oh God, no! Say it isn't so! I can't be like Harry Potter!! I demand a recount!
Thursday, December 19, 2002
You are the Dragon. In medieval Europe, dragons were considered mostly evil and a generally bad omin. Christianity linked the dragon with Satan because of the dragon's snake-like apperance. However, to the Orient cultures the dragon was a symbol of widom and roalty. It was a benign animal and the fifth creature of the Chinese zodiac. It resided over the east and the sunsrise. It was also said to bring rain and the springtime. The dragon is interesting because it combines all four elements: air, earth, fire, and water. It could fly, had the horns of a ox, breathed fire, and resided over the moon.
What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!
That's so cool! Dragons are cool! I love dragons!
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Your magical style is Psychic.
What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
Ha!! I wish I was that!
I'm a Ravenclaw!
You know, if I hadn't of watched Harry Potter while in Seattle, I would have never taken this test.
Monday, December 16, 2002
"Merry Christmas! You're laid-off!"
That was the blunt of it when my mom delivered the news over dinner.
All of a sudden, I'm feeling like Bob Cratchet's Tiny Tim only without the disablity. Christmas is going to suck now with this word.
Guess I have to play the good son now and help out once I get a job... if I can just grow some balls and get out there and look.
It's times like this I wish Dan was here to help me feel better.
That was the blunt of it when my mom delivered the news over dinner.
All of a sudden, I'm feeling like Bob Cratchet's Tiny Tim only without the disablity. Christmas is going to suck now with this word.
Guess I have to play the good son now and help out once I get a job... if I can just grow some balls and get out there and look.
It's times like this I wish Dan was here to help me feel better.
As a Dark Faerie, you are … well … dark. You can be very mean during times, not caring for anyone except yourself. You may not get along very well with others, and have a hard time connecting to them. You are very independent, and like it that way. You find yourself most happy when you are alone doing what you want, and you become a better person during those times.
As a Light Faerie, you are an all around good person. Friendship is very important to you, and you never take your friends for granted. You love to go out and just have fun with these people that are close to you. You are a very loveable person, who everyone finds cool. You are good at heart, and dislike those who are cruel and disrespectful.
Hey, look at it this way. I'm balanced. You know, Ying and Yang?
As a Fire Faerie, you are unique and different. You set your own styles, and don’t follow others. You are out going, and love to be the center of attention. You are also very comical, and can put a smile on anyone’s face. But sometimes you may go too far, and hurt others in the process of being funny.
You have no idea how inaccurate that is. I am not, in any way, comical. I'm just an idiot that does stupid things that makes people laugh.
As an Earth Faerie, you are shy around others. You may feel uncomfortable when talking to people you have just met, and feel most happy when you are out in nature. You love animals, and going out to relax in the sun. You are respectful, and look up to everyone around you. But if someone wrongs you, they will lose your trust and respect.
So lets see, according to these wacky personality test, I'm a tree of fire that burns black with a golden light radiating off it?? Nah, that's just to complicated. I'm just going to say that since I'm gay that should already make me a "faerie." What? Don't look at me like that! Isn't that what the close-minded straight gay bashers call us?
Click here to take the quiz!
I found out when my sister came home cause she had a headache that today there's a football game downtown. I guess it's a good thing I pussied out of going on the bus today, or else I wouldn't be able to come home. See, come near game time, the bus routes change so that almost every bus going from downtown goes to the stadium. Inconvinet, yes, but have you seen the parking downtown?!
God, I'm such a pussy.
Last night, I couldn't get any sleep despite my early retirement to the bed. You can tell I didn't get enough sleep simply by that last sentance. The reason was because I got really ansy. See, the plan was to originally wake up at around the same time I woke up before to catch the earliest bus I can to OpryMills. I ended up staying away up untill the alarms went off. I turned them off and said to myself that I just can't do it. I didn't feel comfortible about doing the bus thing. I mean, what if I don't have enough fare? What about what my aunt said about timing it so I'm not stuck in downtown too long? And what about missing the stops?
Okay, so they are really nothing, but I just didn't feel comfortable with them! It's bad enough I can't remember the times let alone have a decently printed time sheet for the other bus I have to catch. This whole thing just scares me alot. It's too new. Yeah, getting my ATM card was cool, and that was a new experiance for me too, but this is a different kind of new. This one I could botch up and end up on the wrong side of town like that one guy on 7th Heaven, only here, the wrong side of town could get me shot!
Damn, I really wish Dan was here. He'd help me out with this.
Last night, I couldn't get any sleep despite my early retirement to the bed. You can tell I didn't get enough sleep simply by that last sentance. The reason was because I got really ansy. See, the plan was to originally wake up at around the same time I woke up before to catch the earliest bus I can to OpryMills. I ended up staying away up untill the alarms went off. I turned them off and said to myself that I just can't do it. I didn't feel comfortible about doing the bus thing. I mean, what if I don't have enough fare? What about what my aunt said about timing it so I'm not stuck in downtown too long? And what about missing the stops?
Okay, so they are really nothing, but I just didn't feel comfortable with them! It's bad enough I can't remember the times let alone have a decently printed time sheet for the other bus I have to catch. This whole thing just scares me alot. It's too new. Yeah, getting my ATM card was cool, and that was a new experiance for me too, but this is a different kind of new. This one I could botch up and end up on the wrong side of town like that one guy on 7th Heaven, only here, the wrong side of town could get me shot!
Damn, I really wish Dan was here. He'd help me out with this.
Friday, December 13, 2002
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Depressing day today.
It all started last night. Dad said that he and Mom had to sign off on a home loan. My first thought was that we're poor for real this time, that they aren't just saying that to try to make me not spend money or something like that. Then, almost as fast I thought that line of thought up, I realized something. I was getting "volenteered" again. Dad wanted me to help out my Auntie at the store so that she isn't overwhelmed. My reaction to that request was nothing short of upset. They even offered to pay me! There's a first. I silently decided to sleep on it.
Fast forward to this morning around 09:00.
I woke up and groggily called the store. My aunt picked up the phone and I asked if they still need me overthere. It turned out that the customer flow was slow, so they didn't really need me. So much for that, I guess.
The rest of the day consisted of the usual going on the internet for substance (In cause you didn't know already, the internet and video games in general are like my "happy drug". Hey, it beats alcohol and marajuana.), eating raw Raman noodles, sleeping, and not really giving a damn any more as to where my future is going. Yup, that's right, I don't give a damn any more. I've screwed up too many times in my life for there to be a chance of me turning that around. I've tried to fixed to many of the potholes on the road of life. It's about time I just submit to them.
Fast forward to roughly 17:32.
I wanted to cook some mushroom quesodillas just to get rid of the mushrooms. No one that came home felt like going to Kroger, so I ended up using what we had in the fridge to make a kind of pasta cassarole thing. I don't know exactly what it was, but all I know is that it didn't come out the way I wanted it to.
I made the mistake of listening to the soundtrack to How the Grinch Stole Christmas from a few years ago. There are two songs on there that make me want to cry. "You Don't Have to be Alone" and "Where are you, Christmas?" Each has a different meaning to me. The most potent of them is the second song, mostly because I feel our family has lost its once prized bond between family members around this time of year. It used to be we'd be able to have this fun Christmas where we didn't care what we got and every day was a happy day. Now, it just sucks. We try to make it up to each other by giving presents, but you can tell just by the presents themselves that we've grown apart over the years. Sucks, huh?
When everyone came back from wherever they were, I single-handedly had set the table, cooked dinner for at least four, and was just waiting for the compliments. Not one came. Not a single one. I finally did something "out of character," and the only thing I got was a few compliments on how good the dish was. I was aiming for praises of how I did things I don't normally do. Guess I was aiming too high. After everyone finished eating, I also cleaned up after them. Dishes, table. The only thing I didn't do is put the stuff back in the cabinet.
Fast forward to 21:47.
James signed on to AIM. It surprised me that he was so happy when I was talking to him. Then it got ugly after he broke the ice. Due to recent events and actions on my part, all of which you can read in the last blog I did and other past blogs, James has come to the realization that I'm not the one for him and that we should just move on. Normally, most people would be upset about this, but I wasn't. Admittingly, I was actually expecting it. I mean, he's only human, right? Everyone has their limits and if I meant to or not, I crossed his. I could be wrong, and I bet I am, but normally after something like this, the ex'es become friends for a while. At least that's what happened with me and his cousin Andrew. Not the case here. Judging from the fact that James is who he is, he's not going to be online alot, I'll never meet him, and I seriously doubt he'll ever give me the time of day. Something tells me from this point on, things between me and the boys will just taper into compleate and utter deletion from the friendship folder.
Suddenly, as if getting dumped wasn't bad enough, I find out that Andrew got into a fight with Josh. You know, the one that hates me and wants to see me dead? Andrew was defending me, but it turned out that he was defending me with the wrong information. That pissed him off royally. I was verbally attacked and beaten up by him after the scuffle in which I couldn't say anything short of just submitting to Josh's aqusations about me. What else can I say? I've screwed up so many times that I really don't think anything I can say to Andrew could fix anything... no matter how well he can smooth things over with Josh and James. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his help. Whenever the chips were ever down, Andrew was always there for me. But after this? He's not going to be there to defend me anymore. He's pissed at the things I've done recently and for not knowing the true facts. If I were him, I'd also be pissed that I was defending a loser that just sucks. I bet he feels that way too.
The last IM I got was Andrew telling me he has to cool down Josh since he said that all this was my fault and he has to act. Knowing Josh, that can't mean anything good. What exactly do I mean? Let's just say my family is going to need alot more than a home loan.
It all started last night. Dad said that he and Mom had to sign off on a home loan. My first thought was that we're poor for real this time, that they aren't just saying that to try to make me not spend money or something like that. Then, almost as fast I thought that line of thought up, I realized something. I was getting "volenteered" again. Dad wanted me to help out my Auntie at the store so that she isn't overwhelmed. My reaction to that request was nothing short of upset. They even offered to pay me! There's a first. I silently decided to sleep on it.
Fast forward to this morning around 09:00.
I woke up and groggily called the store. My aunt picked up the phone and I asked if they still need me overthere. It turned out that the customer flow was slow, so they didn't really need me. So much for that, I guess.
The rest of the day consisted of the usual going on the internet for substance (In cause you didn't know already, the internet and video games in general are like my "happy drug". Hey, it beats alcohol and marajuana.), eating raw Raman noodles, sleeping, and not really giving a damn any more as to where my future is going. Yup, that's right, I don't give a damn any more. I've screwed up too many times in my life for there to be a chance of me turning that around. I've tried to fixed to many of the potholes on the road of life. It's about time I just submit to them.
Fast forward to roughly 17:32.
I wanted to cook some mushroom quesodillas just to get rid of the mushrooms. No one that came home felt like going to Kroger, so I ended up using what we had in the fridge to make a kind of pasta cassarole thing. I don't know exactly what it was, but all I know is that it didn't come out the way I wanted it to.
I made the mistake of listening to the soundtrack to How the Grinch Stole Christmas from a few years ago. There are two songs on there that make me want to cry. "You Don't Have to be Alone" and "Where are you, Christmas?" Each has a different meaning to me. The most potent of them is the second song, mostly because I feel our family has lost its once prized bond between family members around this time of year. It used to be we'd be able to have this fun Christmas where we didn't care what we got and every day was a happy day. Now, it just sucks. We try to make it up to each other by giving presents, but you can tell just by the presents themselves that we've grown apart over the years. Sucks, huh?
When everyone came back from wherever they were, I single-handedly had set the table, cooked dinner for at least four, and was just waiting for the compliments. Not one came. Not a single one. I finally did something "out of character," and the only thing I got was a few compliments on how good the dish was. I was aiming for praises of how I did things I don't normally do. Guess I was aiming too high. After everyone finished eating, I also cleaned up after them. Dishes, table. The only thing I didn't do is put the stuff back in the cabinet.
Fast forward to 21:47.
James signed on to AIM. It surprised me that he was so happy when I was talking to him. Then it got ugly after he broke the ice. Due to recent events and actions on my part, all of which you can read in the last blog I did and other past blogs, James has come to the realization that I'm not the one for him and that we should just move on. Normally, most people would be upset about this, but I wasn't. Admittingly, I was actually expecting it. I mean, he's only human, right? Everyone has their limits and if I meant to or not, I crossed his. I could be wrong, and I bet I am, but normally after something like this, the ex'es become friends for a while. At least that's what happened with me and his cousin Andrew. Not the case here. Judging from the fact that James is who he is, he's not going to be online alot, I'll never meet him, and I seriously doubt he'll ever give me the time of day. Something tells me from this point on, things between me and the boys will just taper into compleate and utter deletion from the friendship folder.
Suddenly, as if getting dumped wasn't bad enough, I find out that Andrew got into a fight with Josh. You know, the one that hates me and wants to see me dead? Andrew was defending me, but it turned out that he was defending me with the wrong information. That pissed him off royally. I was verbally attacked and beaten up by him after the scuffle in which I couldn't say anything short of just submitting to Josh's aqusations about me. What else can I say? I've screwed up so many times that I really don't think anything I can say to Andrew could fix anything... no matter how well he can smooth things over with Josh and James. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his help. Whenever the chips were ever down, Andrew was always there for me. But after this? He's not going to be there to defend me anymore. He's pissed at the things I've done recently and for not knowing the true facts. If I were him, I'd also be pissed that I was defending a loser that just sucks. I bet he feels that way too.
The last IM I got was Andrew telling me he has to cool down Josh since he said that all this was my fault and he has to act. Knowing Josh, that can't mean anything good. What exactly do I mean? Let's just say my family is going to need alot more than a home loan.
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
I really wish I knew how to start this particular blog. It's kind of hard to talk about things just out of the blue sometimes.
Last night, I had the pleasent surprise to be able to chat with David. He's a really cool guy. It's a good thing we talked, cause I really needed an ear to listen to me. Dan is probibly busy with James and Bill and Sam, so that made me think I wouldn't be able to unless he locked himself in his room while he and I chatted online. Anyway, the short of it is that I needed someone to talk to. Somewhere along the line, we started talking about how I ended up back here in Nashville which somehow lead to the boys' additude towards me.
David thinks I am totally out of luck ever getting back in their good graces ever again.
The straw that broke the camel's back is a combinations of misunderstandings on both my part and theirs. Well, I take that back, it's mostly my fault. I did some things that were unfavorible while I was up in Seattle that made the boys go into overprotective mode. Frankly, I think they hate me. They are tired of my rantting and wanting an ear to listen and a sholder to cry on. They don't like the way I do things. They think I am stupid.
Sometimes I wish I was better off not knowing them. But then it's times like these that I can't seem to get them out of my head.
I'm so pathetic.
Last night, I had the pleasent surprise to be able to chat with David. He's a really cool guy. It's a good thing we talked, cause I really needed an ear to listen to me. Dan is probibly busy with James and Bill and Sam, so that made me think I wouldn't be able to unless he locked himself in his room while he and I chatted online. Anyway, the short of it is that I needed someone to talk to. Somewhere along the line, we started talking about how I ended up back here in Nashville which somehow lead to the boys' additude towards me.
David thinks I am totally out of luck ever getting back in their good graces ever again.
The straw that broke the camel's back is a combinations of misunderstandings on both my part and theirs. Well, I take that back, it's mostly my fault. I did some things that were unfavorible while I was up in Seattle that made the boys go into overprotective mode. Frankly, I think they hate me. They are tired of my rantting and wanting an ear to listen and a sholder to cry on. They don't like the way I do things. They think I am stupid.
Sometimes I wish I was better off not knowing them. But then it's times like these that I can't seem to get them out of my head.
I'm so pathetic.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
It's amazing.
I've been feeling crappy for the last few days inside. For some reason, after I got done cooking up some really hot quesodillas, I'm all find and dandy.
I wonder if this new found outlet is going to be a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I may have a potential future in the culinary arts and all, but it just seems too soon to tell.
Still, it can't hurt none... right?
I've been feeling crappy for the last few days inside. For some reason, after I got done cooking up some really hot quesodillas, I'm all find and dandy.
I wonder if this new found outlet is going to be a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I may have a potential future in the culinary arts and all, but it just seems too soon to tell.
Still, it can't hurt none... right?
Monday, December 09, 2002
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Good thing I already have a Kougra in my NeoPet account.
Well, I did it. I finally did something that I was fearing would go over really badly.
I went to the local Walgreens and bought me four six-packs of KY Liquid personal lube. Hey, they were $3.49 each, and there were only four boxes left, so why not clean them out so I won't have to go back for awhile, right?
I went to the local Walgreens and bought me four six-packs of KY Liquid personal lube. Hey, they were $3.49 each, and there were only four boxes left, so why not clean them out so I won't have to go back for awhile, right?
Sunday, December 08, 2002
Here's a little story that someone posted on a NeoPets Guild that I happen to be a part of. It's so cute that I felt like sharing it here.
Kitten From Heaven
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about a pastor of his church.
He had a kitten that climbed up his tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitten would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a bit further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they had seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping" and went about his buisness.
A few days later he was at the grocery store and met one of his church members. He happened to look in her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her why she was buying cat food when you hate cats so much? She replied "You won't believe this" and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it!" She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees and asked God for a cat. And really, pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with his paws outspread and landed right in front of her."
Kind of gives you that warm fuzzy comfy feeling inside, doesn't it?
All together now... 3... 2... 1... AWWWWWwwwwwww.
Kitten From Heaven
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about a pastor of his church.
He had a kitten that climbed up his tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitten would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a bit further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they had seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping" and went about his buisness.
A few days later he was at the grocery store and met one of his church members. He happened to look in her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her why she was buying cat food when you hate cats so much? She replied "You won't believe this" and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it!" She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees and asked God for a cat. And really, pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with his paws outspread and landed right in front of her."
Kind of gives you that warm fuzzy comfy feeling inside, doesn't it?
All together now... 3... 2... 1... AWWWWWwwwwwww.
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
That's it. I've hit another low.
I'm suppose to fill out many applications after finding what they wanted only to throw two of the three out. Why? Because I don't see the point anymore of trying. I just don't anymore. Everything I wanted is just so far out of reach. It's just hopeless. And you know what? I'm just going to end up being good for nothing. I already am.
I'm already hating life. I'm just living from day to day on nothing but the food that they have here. The only thing that keeps me so-called happy are cartoons, movies, and TV shows. Great, I'm back to were I was.
I need help so bad that I'd kill for it.
I'm suppose to fill out many applications after finding what they wanted only to throw two of the three out. Why? Because I don't see the point anymore of trying. I just don't anymore. Everything I wanted is just so far out of reach. It's just hopeless. And you know what? I'm just going to end up being good for nothing. I already am.
I'm already hating life. I'm just living from day to day on nothing but the food that they have here. The only thing that keeps me so-called happy are cartoons, movies, and TV shows. Great, I'm back to were I was.
I need help so bad that I'd kill for it.
