I don't know why, but while I was taking down my studio and shoved everything in boxes, I couldn't help but have a feeling of deep and utter sadness. It was as if I was symbolically saying to the building "I quit. You've won. I don't belong here."
Meanwhile, there is a major social scene happening behind me making me feel rather alienated in the social scene. I really need to get out more, but where to go and what to do and who to hang out with is very limiting now, especially given who I know and how I know them.
Expressing honest thoughts to everyone and no one at the same time.
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2 comments:
Jon,
I don't know why -- either -- but I decided to put "utter sadness" in Google search and then I decided to add "pure joy." Would you believe there are 235 pages with both expressions?
Quit is a personal verb. Only you can quit. Other people can make you so dissatisfied that you decide to quit but they can't actually make you do it.
Quit is not a word that you want floating around in your mind. Reorganization, refocusing, and such are what you want to visualize yourself as doing.
Just as you (and not others) can decide to quit, you (and not others) can decide that you are going to get out and meet people and be more social.
I do understand your situation. I was the same way when I was your age. I went to a psychiatrist and the only thing I remember his saying was that I should get out and socialize more. I did -- but I didn't do it for twenty five years -- about your whole lifetime so far. What a waste of years now that I look back on it.
But what happened twenty five years later that caused me to finally do what the psychiatrist suggested? My version of the story is that I had eye surgery and was no longer so near sighted and that I learned a sport, a first for me.
That sport was swimming and I didn't just decide to get into the pool and be able to not sink. I hired a teacher and took private lessons for a year and a half. I learned to do all four strokes and the associated turns. It took me a year to get the breast stroke together even though I could do the arms part and the legs part separately earlier.
You can do these things: develop a new thesis idea and meet some new people. It all starts with looking at yourself in a new light.
Robert
Robert offers wise words.
What is this "quit" nonsense? Didn't you learn anything from Kung-Fu Panda? Two big balls of wisdom that I hoped you would take to heart: 1) a real warrior never gives up, 2) there is no secret ingredient - to make something special you just have to believe it's special. When are you going to start believing?
You should pay more attention to the animated tortoise.
Skadoosh.
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