I am in a dangerous place right now, and I need to get out.
It is no secret that I occasionally cruise the attractive guys I see walking the halls or hanging out at the cafe, but my latest juvenile crush has got me borderline stalking qualities.
I mean, hell, I found myself looking up his name on Google and MySpace just to find more information about him instead of doing the ballsy thing and actually talking to him!
What's
wrong with me? I mean, I know I have social anxiety, or at least some
version of it, but what the fuck?! Have I become so repressed that I'm
turning into this crazy stalker who can findvirtually anything I want
to by just typing in a name? Why can't I be normal and just talk to the
person instead of lusting over him like candy in the shop window at
some mall's food court?
I know this isn't a fairy tale. I know
that if you want something, you have to get it. But damn, how the hell
did I get so fucked up in the head to the point where this is happening?
I already have to deal with the consequences of my actions on this blog in real life. I don't want to deal with the real life consequences
of what I'm doing now, mostly because I know what kind of impact they
will have on me in the future. At least online, it's a matter of if the
reader takes me seriously or not. You can't really do that in real life
without looking like a complete nut job in one sense or another.
4 comments:
Jon,
You need to stop Googling your crushes and start talking to them. Ask them about what classes they're taking, or what kind of music they like, or whatever, but just talk to them. Any guy you find sexy, talk to him, get to know him better, see where it leads. If that one doesn't work out, talk to the next guy, and the next, and the next...
Hope this helps,
Rob
Looking up someone's MySpage page is not stalking. It's simply innocent social research. If you're constantly analyzing his MySpace activity to determine his daily routine so you can follow him around, well that veers closer to stalking. But until you're driving past his house at 3am or gathering strands of his hair from where he most recently sat in the student lounge, you needn't worry about being a stalker.
Harboring an internalized obsession is very frustrating though. But it's not difficult to thwart. Make contact with the guy you like and see what sort of personality he has. There is plenty about a person that you cannot determine from looking at their MySpace profile. Does he have bad breath or body odor? Does he use bad grammar? Is he an inconsiderate asshole who constantly interrupts during a conversation? Does he only talk about himself? Does he have bad breath? Or body odor? (I listed those twice because how could you possibly determine something like bad hygiene through a Google search?) The best way to kill a schoolgirl infatuation is to acquaint yourself with the guy. Even better, acquaint yourself with several guys. The thinner you spread your crush, the easier they'll be to dissolve. And the better you get to know someone, the more you'll find unappealing about him. There's plenty that's not sexy about everyone - you just have to open your eyes to it. That's how I stopped sleeping with Brad Pitt - after I got to know him well enough, all of his undesirable traits began to stand out. And I have to say, he's really kind of a bore.
Lastly, getting to know someone new is almost always awkward. Especially someone that you have a crush on. But clumsy dialogue is just part of the game, and the more you practice at it, the better you'll get. That goes for everyone, including you. There's no way around looking like a nut job. You might as well practice being the best nut job you can be!
You said it yourself: if you want something you have to get it. You aren't fucked in the head. This is actually completely normal. Despite my extensive social prowess, I'm still too shy to speak to the cute gay boy behind the counter at Maniac's.
We should go to the gay bar again before I move, so you can practice talking to guys you've never met before. We should go to Play next time - that's where all the cute ones hang out.
A few years ago Suzy had a stalker and it is not fun business at all. Collecting evidence to get a restraining order and it was just a long expensive mess. It is embarrassing too. Trust me babe you dont want to be like that! If you are charged with stalking then computer activity can be used against you in court so be careful with google. When you start liking a boy you should be making friends with him instead of using your imagination. Take it from me Suzy and I have been in a relationship for twelve years and even though we are soul mates it is still possible to get attracted to other people. You just have to ignore your feelings sometimesif you think you cant act on them. But you are yougnand single so you should have no problem with that department!Go get em stud.
BTW congratulations on your art show. Your painting is exquisite.
It's been a week since this post. Have you talked with him yet or are you collecting strands of his hair?
(I'm kidding about the hair)
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