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No Reply
Composed and Arranged by Yoko Kanno
Words by Tim Jensen
Vocals by Steve Conte

Like the perfect ending
It's won't be too long
Till everything I've ruined has seen me gone
In time, I pray you'll forgive
Now you know the man I am
Can you forgive me?

I fall
Like the sands of time
Like some broken rhyme
At feet no longer there

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel
I would
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be
For that, I say thank you
This was my life
It never made much sense to me

With every lie that I lived
Part of me would fade
Into this empty shadow I've become
And now I feel so numb
I no longer know myself
But I still know you

I call
And there's no reply
Like some phantom cry
On ears too far away

I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by
The only thing I see is you
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side
I say thank you
Here lies my life
It never felt that real to me

You'll always mean so much to me
And there's no reply
And there's no reply
You'll never know how much you mean to me
And there's no reply
And there's no reply
You'll never know how much you mean to me

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel
I would
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be
For that, I say thank you
I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by
The only thing I see is you
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side
I say thank you

You in my life
It all meant so much more to me

Why do I keep posting this? No one reads this. No one will listen to the RealAudio I have embeded. No one cares to get inside my head. No one wants to. Yet it seems ironic that everyone wants to know where my head is at. The want to know what's going on inside, as if I could blurt out the answer like it like asking what my name is. I can't. That's the whole point of this blog! The purpose of this blog was to maybe, just maybe, give the people that gave me something I could never have a chance to answer that question. To know what is going on inside my head. But do they take the time to know? They want to know, but what is the point of reading this? It's boring! It's nothing but rants and raves that have no content whatsoever. I even started posting Flash animations that I liked, something that is in the inner workings of my brain, so Bill would come back at least once a week and notice some of the blogs. Nope. I got nothing out of this blog. All I got were about three months of rants, raves, shit, and overall, boring content. I've been as open, moreso, than most would be on the internet! And what has it gained me? Has it helped me? Did it do anything for me? No. Why? 'Cause no one took the time to read this. No one took the time to sit down, read this over and over, find what I was trying to say, and then say to themselves "Oh, I get it. He's like this cause this is all he knows and this and that and this" and maybe learn something about me besides the fact that I'm so stupid I had to be in a Special Education class for the half of high school! What am I trying to prove with this blog? What am I trying to do? I'm trying to figure myself out! I'm trying to see if those that know me can really get to know me! I'm trying to find out what's wrong with me without having to spend my life looking for a $900 an hour doctor to go see 3 times a day for 5 days a week! Most of all, what I'm trying to do is communicate that which I can't even begin to say. I'm trying to get across the ideas, the thoughts, the interests, the views, anything that is in my mind out there as best I can to where people will understand. But I'm a failure at doing that. I'm no good at anything. I mean, I burned something in the washer for crying out loud!! I should be shot and killed and displayed like some kind of wild animal with a plaque that says This is the head of Zeek Slider, the stupidest human alive. I would end it myself, but that would be a mortal sin. On top of that, I don't want to be turned into a tree in Hell to have harpes use me as a scratching post. What am I saying? I'm just ranting again. I never get what I want, even if it's death. I'll never get out of here, I'll never find a boyfriend, I'll never have any cool friends to hang out with, I'll never have someone I can be proud to call momma, I'll never have anyone to spoil untill they hate me for doing it, and on top of all that, I'll never be happy ever again! I can see it now. I'll be stuck at some dead end job in an apartment that would be no bigger than a monk's cell, barely anything to live off of, stuck with a shit load of bills and angry neighbors never ever to be able to do what I want to do. I'll never get into college. I'll never amount to anything in life! I'm just that plan worthless. I really doubt anyone has the patients to even talk to me let alone help me. I don't think anyone wants to help out anyways. I mean, what's the point? I'm just a lost cause. That's all I am.