Invitation Invites Infatuation

I'm in the studio bumming my ass off in the cafe because of a lack of creative drive at the moment. So I took it upon myself to call the only person I know that is still in town and extend an invitation to my show.

I was expecting his machine. I got him on the other end.

We talked for a little bit, and I got my invitation out, even extending it to another friend. I wanted to catch up, but got scared about saying something I knew I shouldn't. I ended the conversation as abruptly as I was surprised that he picked up, saying that we will catch up at the show.

That was about an hour and a half ago. Now I'm feeling rather like I made yet another mistake. Who knows what will happen when that day comes. Will I be able to behave myself or will I clam up because of my feelings for him and being in such a public space?

I hate having this longing feeling for a close friend or a significant other. I wish I didn't have this problem, but every time I try to control it, it just gets worse and worse. (Though this year hasn't been as bad as it could have been compared to past experiences.)