Last night was Seminar's last night, and a new process of the class is to self-evaluate ourselves. The more we talked about the class orally, the angrier I got. When the sheets finally were handed out, I was one of the first to finish. I can only wonder what Jack thought of my comments, all of which were written like an angry child in big and violent marks.
It didn't help that he told us how he grades and that he is expecting to give out a set number of A's and a set number of C's. In his defence, he's the teacher. He has the right to fail people.
I failed myself in the self-evaluation. I left Seminar 2 feeling like I didn't gain anything and insulted that my interests were not being considered as my process evolved. It was all about product.
Before the class, I talked to another teacher who I've had before and was teaching another department's seminar class. I was blunt with her. The final panel ripped me a new one, and I didn't feel like I was pointed in a direction so much as I was being told what I was doing was wrong. I even told her that I did take into consideration everything the panel said: how they didn't know how to approach my work and how they felt that I wouldn't take their input. I didn't mention how I feel like they are pushing me in the direction of silk-screening a sentence on the wall. She expressed her disappointment in the lack of encouraging things I received and left me with a tag line I wish the public school system would realize. "Making art is hard."
And you want to know the stupidest thing that's come out of this experience? I'm actually considering doing that silk-screening a sentence on the wall of the gallery as my senior show, even though I know exactly how it will be received both by the art community and by the people that don't know jack about art.
2 comments:
Jon,
First of all, no teacher has the right to fail people. The purpose of teaching is to lead students to ask the right questions.
Second, I am having a hard time dealing with the idea of self-evaluation. Only responses we get from others can be any guide to new ways of looking at our own thinking. You can only fail yourself by ignoring sincere responses.
Third, no one likes to have things pointed out and no one likes to be told that what they are doing is wrong. An angry child response would be the likely response although you might consider being angry in a more refined way.
Finally, I don't think that you have told me enough to understand the notion that "they felt that I wouldn't take their input."
I like that idea of a sentence on the wall as a senior show:
Making art is hard -- Making art is very hard -- Making art is hard -- Making art is really hard -- Making art is hard -- Making art is extremely hard -- Making art is hard --
and so forth with as many adverbs as you can find.
Understanding art is hard.
Robert
Fuck.
I wrote a long, very involved comment and upon submitting it, Blogspot.com reset the comment window, erasing the entire thing.
I will recompose my thoughts and email you instead.
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